ballet_tessa Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 First of all, I love my boyfriend! He lives in the Detroit area and I'm currently studying(and dancing) in Germany. I'm quite busy with my studies and my ballet training but he dedicates even more time to his sport and is also studying for a future law degree. The good thing is that we both understand what it means if you've dedicated almost your entire life to that something and you sure wouldn't give it up for anyone. Ballet has taught me since I was a little girl to be disciplined and I'm also used to having little leisure time. But due to this LDR I'm somewhat losing my poise and do things I actually can't allow myself to do. That would be just sitting at my desk and thinking of him instead of studying when I come home from ballet, staying up far to long just to talk to him, etc. Time management has always been one of my strength but I kind of lost it and I feel like there's a lack of concentration with everything I do...Do you have any advise how I could cope with that? I also find myself not calling him or not answering to the phone because I know it makes me soo emotional... Therefore it's sometimes easier just not to hear his voice but I feel that deep inside me not talking to him is not what I want. Nevertheless I sometimes contemplate breaking up in order to be more focused on my studies and ballet but the thought itself hurts me. Can someone give me an advice how to be more calm? How to handle those situations? and how to regain my concentration and focus? Thanks a lot, Tessa Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Ballet Tessa, I'm sure your boyfriend loves you as much as you love him. The two of you are involved in careers that do require discipline and that's something that the two of you have in common - congratulations, this is a good thing! If there was a disparity in discipline, it would pull the relationship off balance (the discipline keeping you together in the LDR) and could complicate things between the two of you. You should explicitly tell him that you 'love' him or want him in your life with some intent of long-term so that he can understand where you are coming from - again, I'm sure the feelings are mutual but perhaps he will open up a little more to you? We guys aren't always the best communicators but we try... How to regain your concentration and focus? Talk to him on a regular schedule but not too often - once every three days? The both of you need time for your career development and hobbies - again so important for balance in a relationship. Since you will not talk that often, come up with creative gift/communication ideas so that the two of you can really enjoy those few moments you can talk. Don't get too sappy, but keep it light and sweet. Also, remember to always end the conversation on a positive note Lastly, understand that once you end your talk take a moment to think and refocus yourself. Put him out of your mind and focus on the task at hand. By doing this, the next communication with him will feel like a nice suprise. I'm certain that your man is probably thinking similar thoughts and be happy that the two of you are happily together inspite of the distance Link to post Share on other sites
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