A pipe dream? I'm seriously at the end of my rope.

[sigurpol]

Some of this is a rant, the other is a cry out for someone to talk some sense into me.

 

About a year ago I ended up talking to a girl some states away from where I live. I forget how I came across her page, but we ended up talking for the hell of it. I'm not one to really be meeting people online, but we talked a lot on AIM and everything was friendly.

 

Eventually, we started to joke around by telling one another to fly out a visit. It became a little more personal and I ended up buying a plane ticket to go out there for a weekend in the summer. She actually had a boyfriend this whole time, but again, everything was on a friendly, non-sexual level. However, a member in a band I play in passed away the week of my flight and I had to cancel.

 

We still kept in touch and she told me the past month that her and her boyfriend were really having some problems. I helped her out with whatever she wanted to talk about until they ended up breaking up. At this point, she had already had a ticket to come see me for a weekend and to be my date at my brothers wedding.

 

The weekend went really well... but the second night, I really started to get the feeling that I really like this person. A lot. I thought it was just nerves or whatever because we just met in person after talking for almost a year. There was a point in the evening at the wedding when I told her she looked really nice and I liked her dress. She was so flattered by the whole comment I kinda laughed. She told me later, after she flew home, that compliment really stuck with her. Mostly because her ex never said such things. I don't know much about this guy, but shes never had a nice thing to say about him to me.

 

But the final night, we got intimate for a bit, had some alone time. We were laying in bed when she said, "I really like you", and I returned the statement. She said, "its too bad I live in _____". The entire trip she was very touchy feely with me, and always flirting.

 

She wants me to visit as soon as I can, which I would love to. But I know she would never move out here where I live (thinking in long terms). I say that because shes thinking about moving soon. However, I've become sick of the people I know here. I feel like I can't meet anyone anymore. I have friends here, but none of them are social. I don't know about meeting anyone else because the fact of going out alone kinda urks me. Maybe I'm just being stubborn. But I could see myself moving out there with her. Is that crazy to think seeing I've only spent a weekend with this girl?

 

Anyway, this entire week I've felt really down because she's not here and I really loved her company and wish she WAS around. Should I really disclose any of this to her? Or what? She texts me all the time, all day, but its so hard to get a read on her sometimes. Sometimes it feels like that flirty attitude she has is really her just being really nice or outgoing. Because thats her personality. Sometimes when I flirt back, the response I get seems like I crossed the line. It's confusing.

 

She's still pretty broke up about her and her ex splitting. She talks a lot about it with me. Almost every day. I enjoy giving advice but at the same time... I get annoyed or upset hearing about it.

 

Something with age came up (I'm 23), and how all of her ex's have been older than her. While she was visiting she jokingly made a comment about how shes almost a year older than I am. It didn't bother me and I went along with the teasing. But all of her ex's have been about... 15-20 years older than her. Is this normal? She dated a guy who was 40 for a while. Another guy who was 47 years old. And her most recent ex is in his 30's.

 

Hearing this made me think like.. .well what am I? Just some young-in? I'm slowly becoming irritated how I'm on the receiving of all of this. 40 years old? 47? What the hell? Alot of this frustration is because I'm sick of falling for girls and being in this silly situations. Drives me nuts. But I guess thats life. I just want to go out and meet people. But I was my own friends with me.

 

I don't think she realizes that I really like her a lot. I think she sees me as a nice, attractive guy to talk to about her problems. She's asking me to come out there for new years. Should I?

[norajane]

But I could see myself moving out there with her. Is that crazy to think seeing I've only spent a weekend with this girl?

 

Yes, that is absolutely insane. Especially since you've only spent two days with her, she just broke up with her ex and can't stop talking about it, and she usually dates people much older than her...daddy complex, or desire for someone to take care of her.

 

Sso far, she's only using you as a sounding board to listen to her woes about her ex, and as an ego boost. You've never even kissed her and you want to move to her city?

 

You said it was hard for you to meet people, you don't like going out alone. So what happens if you move out there, don't know anyone, and she decides she's not really into you like you are into her? Then you're on your own in a new city with no friend, no one. Would you even have a job out there?

 

Visit her if you must, but slow your imagination wayyyyyy down. Right now, you're taking your fantasy of how it could be and it doesn't match with reality AT ALL. She could get back with her ex, or find a new 40 year old tomorrow.

[sigurpol]

Thanks for the check.

 

Two things, just to clarify. We did kiss, maybe you missed it in my last post, it got pretty intimate. I know that doesn't change much at all, but I just wanted to clarify.

 

It's not HARD for me to meet people here. It's just like... a mental thing. I feel more of a bum when I'm out in my OWN TOWN alone. Versus me being in a new town and I can kinda say, "Oh, I just moved here". That's all. Again, that doesn't really change much at all, just throwing it in there.

 

Thanks though