GF leaves me blue balled every time cuz of curfew

[pleasehelpme]

Hi. My GF and I have been going out for 4 months or so, but I think I have been having doubts about whether or not this will work. It started off when I met her through a friend who goes to my college. She goes to a different college that is about 20 minutes away. Well, it became an LDR relationship for the summer since I had to go back to my home town which is an hour and a half away from her. The summer went by, and now I'm back in school.

 

She is in the marching band, and she has practice every M/W/F. On top of this, she usually works on T/Th/Sun. Well, I would love to see her more, but I understand these obligations that she has to attend to. However, she has even more on top of this... Not only this but she has a 3 AM curfew enforced by her parents. She commutes to college so she has to obey them if she chooses to live in their house.

 

Well, we have seen each other as much as we can though - perhaps like 2 times each week. I have two roommates, and it is hard to get intimate in our room. She is also shy about that kind of stuff (any form of PDA). So, the most intimate we have gotten is when we went out to find an empty parking lot in her car.

 

What is sad is that she has left me blue balled every time though - it gets too late by the time we do anything (near 2:30AM since it takes her half an hour to get home). I don't feel like I can actually cum from her just sucking on it. She wants to save her virginity until she is sure (she wants to wait until next year I'm guessing). Despite this, I made her cum 3 times in a row that one night though.

 

I haven't cummed from her yet, and I know although that is frustrating for her, I have been masturbating a lot less to save it for her. Lately though, she has been "limiting" the sexual things we do together as to keep the relationship at a fresh state. She really wants this to work out, she says. She also told me it's because her last boyfriend and her always ended up doing something sexual at the end of whatever they did. She doesn't want this to end up like that.

 

Well, that made this week horrible for me. On Wednesday, she told me that she didn't want to do it again so soon (since last Saturday). Last night we did a little bit of fooling around in my room, but we had to go out and find a place since my roommates would be only gone for a while (they came back while we were leaving so we had good timing). We couldn't find anywhere since the city was so crowded. Eventually, it got too late and we didn't do anything at all and she went home.

 

I don't have a car at college so she has to visit me. I take the bus to get to her college to meet her there, but that is all I can do. I know it is selfish to think like this, because she is doing her best to see me every week, but for me, it isn't enough... sexually, I guess. I told her that I love her a while ago, but I don't know anymore. I don't think my feelings have changed, but I am thinking "What have I gotten myself into? It seems like she is still bound by her family (with the curfew), and I don't know if that is what I really want..."

 

It is so frustrating, because I thought that the sparks would be flying by now, but they aren't. Please help me figure out what I can do about all of this. It seems like it'll be this way for a while.

[A wanderer]

Help her get out of the house. Offer her your place. If that doesn't work have her move into an apartment and help her out. She's in college and she's living my life, the life of a 13 y/o. Don't ignore my acknowlegements for this I am wise beyond my years.

[jenny]

can you arrange with your roomates a timer when they will be out for a bit? maybe pay for them to see a matinee or something?

[clia]

I know it is selfish to think like this, because she is doing her best to see me every week, but for me, it isn't enough... sexually, I guess. I told her that I love her a while ago, but I don't know anymore. I don't think my feelings have changed, but I am thinking "What have I gotten myself into? It seems like she is still bound by her family (with the curfew), and I don't know if that is what I really want..."

 

I think if you were really in love with her you would be happy to wait until she's ready to have sex. Four months into a relationship is not eons to wait for sex. You clearly want a girl who will put out sooner. She won't. Sounds like you need to find someone else, and release her into the universe so she can find a guy who cares about more than just having sex with her. It's likely she feels this vibe from you, and that is making her want to wait even longer to make sure you really care about her. She's doing all kinds of work to make sure she gets to see you, and all you care about is that you are not satisfied sexually. Find another girl.

 

And 3 a.m. is not an unreasonable curfew. That's pretty darn late at night. Maybe you should consider getting your own place so you don't have to deal with the roommate situation.

[pleasehelpme]

Originally posted by clia

I think if you were really in love with her you would be happy to wait until she's ready to have sex. Four months into a relationship is not eons to wait for sex. You clearly want a girl who will put out sooner. She won't. Sounds like you need to find someone else, and release her into the universe so she can find a guy who cares about more than just having sex with her. It's likely she feels this vibe from you, and that is making her want to wait even longer to make sure you really care about her. She's doing all kinds of work to make sure she gets to see you, and all you care about is that you are not satisfied sexually. Find another girl.

 

And 3 a.m. is not an unreasonable curfew. That's pretty darn late at night. Maybe you should consider getting your own place so you don't have to deal with the roommate situation.

 

Clia~

 

I'm not that kind of guy. I totally respect the fact that she wants to wait to actually have sex. I haven't pressured her for sex at all, except for the first time when I asked her while we were just talking (I know that is cheesy, but at least it was a good way to find out instead of trying to stick it into her while we are intimate). I know that I would love to do that with her, and waiting will only make it better in the end.

 

I just want to spend more time with her actually, and I told her this. I wish we could see each other more. Right now I am waiting for November - that is when she gets done with band. That way we can spend a little bit more time together maybe. Over the summer it was hard because we only saw each other once a week at most, and I thought it would have been better when I moved into college. It still seems tough though.

 

Jenny and the wanderer, thanks for your ideas though. They seem pretty sensible. The roommate thing is iffy though. But I guess if that is what it takes to get some alone time together not inside her car, then I'll probably try it. She is really shy with letting people know (i.e. pda), and I am kind of too.

 

I just wish I knew whether or not this will work out in the end if it is gonna be like this for so long.

[MAC]

Wow pleasehelpme you seem to be living my past life. The few differences between our stories and thats it! For starters, I live at home and commute to University, the same University that my girlfriend also commutes to. We live with our parents and opposite sides of our town. We went to the same High School but never came into contact with each until graduation in grade12. I was totally amazed by her beauty at prom and I was really taken back by the fact that she was with what I'd call an a**h***.

 

It took an entire summer to slowly win her heart and take her hand into mine. She dumped her old boyfriend due to my intrevention. I attended so many parties in hopes of just seeing her, people were starting to say that I was a heavy partier and future acholoic.

 

When we finally got together I realized that this relationship was solid as a rock. With an awesome foundation we moved rather quickly at first. On our first night together, we kissed the night away under an old willow tree. Our second night together as offically a couple hit second base and by the end of our third night together we were at third base. We remained at third for an entire year, till we got to know each very well and realized that we wanted to share complete intimacy together. We were both virgins and having sex for the first time took alot of time and paitience. Things however worked out really great in the end.

 

For an entire year we spent many countless nights in the back of my car getting to know each other. I admit that that for the first 6 months I had some seriously soar balls. Yes my girlfriend had a curfew and so did I. We had to be home on time and we used to leave before I would cum. She gave awesome blowjobs but nothing that would set me off, we never talked about it and I never mentioned it. I knew I really loved this girl and that everything would fall into place sooner or later. And it did.

 

In the dead of winter, we were parking one night in a favorite spot in my van. We were in the back laying down listening to some mutually favourable music and I closed my eyes and let go of the feeling that I wanted to cum and I felt a tightening (a familar feeling before I orgasim) and I squeezed the muscle that allows you to cum and it was amazing. I hadn't came in weeks and she was really shocked for what happened next really amazed her. She was groaning and gyrating her hips as I brought her to orgasim shortly after she did me. We lay there for an hour after curfew in total bliss.

 

Since we had an entire year of foreplay, now when we have sex. We make foreplay a huge part of it. Sometimes we never actually have sex because we brought each other to edge and past. I can tell you man that I feel your pain and felt it literally but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If this girl is willing to suck on you and try to please you, don't hamper her on her efforts. Try to let go and stop thinking about cumming (hey it worked for me). Don't be grudge her for climaxing and you not. Most guys are well informed in what sets a girl off before girls learn what sets a guy off.

 

Her technique will improve after she figures you out. It will take awhile but honestly. Most skanks know exactly what a guy will respond too but who the hell wants a skank around =)

 

I'm still seeing now my girlfriend and we have found other places to hang out now. More private and better places then some dirty parking lot somewheres. We're now in our third year of our bachelors programs and I'm very happy with my relationship and I love my girlfriend of 2 years +

 

Those couple of nights of having blue balls were certainly worth it.

 

Hang in there bro!!!