Confusion on whether it was a proposal or not?

[cmb88]

Okay so I am new at this but this has been weighing on my mind heavily and I do not want to talk to my friends about it because it is embarrassing:/ My boyfriend is not the romantic type...never giving any gifts unless it is a holiday. In May I got off work late and went to see him and I was going to appologize because I had been such a b*tch all week and felt bad. He was in this great mood and hugged me and said he had me a suprise...He said to look in my sock drawer so I did and there was a ring in this beautiful case:/ I was shocked the last thing I had ever expected....He was so excited about it and wanted to know if I just totally loved it... He wanted me to wear it and show it to everyone. There was no dropping to one knee and saying will you marry me:0 Before bed time he told me well you know we are going to married...Everyone has thought we are engaged including me but I cant talk to him a bout it because Im not sure that the ring was meant to be that ...It is beautiful and looks just like an engagement ring...he spent alot of money on this ring and got ripped off...I have no clue where he got it from and he has no papers on it...when I went to get it sized he wanted to take it but I did it anyways and they said the band was just plain coated metal...and it could not be sized...Im not sure what to say to him...It has been months and recently he was at a dinner party with our friends and I was at work and someone said something about us being engaged and it was not 24 hours later one of his girl friends emailed me appologizing that she thought it might have upset him in someway. If any one has any cues as to how I can talk to him without feeling that my heart will get stomped on if he says that is not what it was for? Please feel free to respond..I am up for anything:/

Thanks,

The Confused One

[sb129]

Firstly-

 

if it was a proper proposal, then you would know!

 

Secondly-

 

If you can't ask him outright, is it the kind of R you want to go into a marriage?

[Lauriebell82]

I totally agree with sb..ask him what it meant!!

 

IMO though, if he said that you were going to get married then it probably meant you are engaged. But just ask him for clarification.

[norajane]

Won't your heart get stomped on just the same if it wasn't a proposal and you don't ask him about it?

 

It either was or it wasn't, and if you're afraid to ask (6 months later!!!!???), then you two are nowhere near ready to get married.

[2sure]

To be honest, its almost as if he wants to pretend your engaged but not be engaged. He came across a ring that was in the design of an engagement ring and thought why not. Now, a ring certainly is not important, its cost a non issue if you are in love...but he specifically TOLD you he paid a lot of money for it. Then wanted to get it sized himself - without you - (impossible) because he knew it wasnt real. He knew this.

Not real is OK, but why did he tell you it cost a lot? If he knew it wasnt real, it didnt cost a lot, and he was trying to fool you. Which is...I mean, why pretend? If the metal isnt real, the stone surely is not.

 

It just sounds "pretend" .

[bozwa]

I apologize if this sounds harsh, but, honey, if you can't communicate with your man, you've got bigger problems than you think. Who thinks to marry someone that they can't say everything to? You should have asked flat out that day if marriage is what he was proposing or if he was just giving you a ring. The fact that the ring isn't real isn't an issue, really, because if given with love, that shouldn't matter. However, how much TRUE love is there if there is no honest communication? That and trust are the two KEY things needed in a lifelong partnership!