HokeyReligions Posted September 15, 2003 Share Posted September 15, 2003 My marriage isn't in trouble - we are just having a fight and I need to vent! He bought a custom computer last May -- AFTER I got laid off my job. He had received a $1200 check for some work he did a year before. I was working at a temporary job making a lot less money than I'm used to. Instead of banking that $1200 in case we couldn't pay a bill or had an emergency with the car or one of the dogs - he spent it! AFTER telling me that he wanted to wait to buy a computer until I had a permanent job again. (which, BTW, I am in a different position, but still contract and still making less than I was making, and I have no benefits) Now, I have purchased some items from my wholesaler and am selling them at a flea market. Hubby and I discussed this first and decided to take a chance. Some items have sold and I'm sure the others will eventually sell. One of the items I really want for myself. It cost me $33.09. I stand to make a good profit on it because I got such a great deal. I tried to order another from my wholesaler, but apparently a lot of people have discovered this bargain and I can't get another one. So I told my husband that I wanted to take that item off the market and keep it for myself. He said no. I said that wasn't fair and it's not like I've asked for anything since i lost my job. We talked a bit - it got more heated - and I did not mention the computer specifically, but he asked me how long I was going to hold that computer over his head. I told him "twelve hundred dollars worth" and we began talking about that. The argument esclated into me telling him how many hours I have to work to earn that much money and him telling me that since it didn't come out of what I earn, it doesn't count. It has now esclated into "get your own damn bank account then and you pay half of everything out of what you get and I'll pay half out of mine" which was not a nice thing for me to say because he is disabled and on a fixed income and even tho I make less than I used to, I still make a lot more than his disability. I got angry and more than that I got my feelings hurt and I told him so. I just had a gut full of his sanctimonious BS about "his" money and "our" money. I don't care that it's so rare that he earns money - money earned by someone who does not make money on a regular basis does not equal "extra" money. The $75 I got paid last week for participating in a research study isn't extra money - it went to pay the bills. I just want to smash his head against a wall and knock some sense into him! Thanks for letting me vent! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 15, 2003 Share Posted September 15, 2003 at which point I tell MY husband, "I love you, even when you chose to be a jackass. And by the way, my little donkey-boy, I'm keeping said item." maybe he feels guilty about splurging on the computer when times are tight, and acts out that guilt by picking on you for wanting the $30 item? My husband does that, but throws in "well, I haven't gotten anything for myself that I wanted -- I do this and this and pay for that, etc." It doesn't matter that he buys whatever he wants when he wants, then has a fit when money is short! Donkey-boy!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HokeyReligions Posted September 15, 2003 Author Share Posted September 15, 2003 Donkey-Boy! Oh, I fully plan on keeping the item and in a subsequent conversation I told hubby that he may as well save his breath - I'm winning this argument. Eventually I'll make enough money when the other stuff sells to pay for this item. And then some. I really did get a good deal and he's bought quite a few luxury items since he bought the computer (which he promised he would make money with and he hasn't made a dime) I have not pointed that fact out to him - no sense grinding him down into the dirt when a mild stomping will do. Link to post Share on other sites
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