I need someone to guide me

[confusedanddeluded]

This is a long story but I will try to condense it. I have been in loving relationship with my current gf with over 26 months now. We have had difficulties but we have persevered through and loved each other more for doing so. Recently though I have become conflicted. I started talking to a girl I met on a first aid course a year ago and we had met a couple of times and chatted after it but really never talked. We got onto msn with one another and began chatting for hours on end late into the mornings. We would usually be on webcam with one another just chatting and messing around making notes and putting them in front of the camera. All the while I would still be in this loving relationship with my gf...

 

This is where it gets tricky..The conversations started when she went to uni just before me and I would be getting called by her drunk at 1-2am just for conversation and this annoyed my other half as I told her of it. I asked the other female to stop the calls but we continued to chat on msn on a regular basis..we flirted and had a laugh just general chit chat and would text each other like 10 times a day. I still loved my other gf but when we went to uni our close distance relationship became a long distance one and this is where it began to go wrong. One weekend my gf would not respond to me she was busy with her family coming upt o visit her uni and friends. I needed someone to talk to but she was busy and I ended up talking to the other female again..I began to become attracted to her over time and she came over one weekend...much to my gf's distaste but I assured her we were just friends as this other girl was in a relationship too. She was only with me for a couple of hours but it felt great...everything was so natural with her we got on well we flirted a little nothing sexual happened..she didnt want to go back to uni but we said our goodbyes...

 

Later that night she admitted she was falling in love with me...and I told her I was attacted to her but I still had feelings for my current gf...Naively I continued to talk to her but eventually told my gf which ended in an argument as I told her by this point I was having feelings for this other girl too at the time it wasnt love but I think I was falling...but it was weird I still loved my gf just as much. I decided to close off all contact with this other female (which upset me because she was the only person other than my gf who I could confide in) I told her that i probably loved her but it was my love for my gf which prevailed and my loyalty to her was greater than that to this other girl. She was unhappy but she understood that we needed to stop talking to help us both. We both admitted that there would always be something there between us, a spark if you will, that made us click on the first day we met, but we saw it for the best to discontinue our conversations so I deleted her number erased her texts and blocked her msn but I told her on her facebook that if she ever needed someone to talk to I would always be there.

 

A week later I began talking to her on facebook just to check up on her. I was met with a cold reply which hurt but of course after what I had done it was reasonable..I left it for another two weeks and tried again sending another message on facebook, which lead to a small conversation but nothing major..Then the past two I unblocked her msn I told my gf that I done so and said I put a message saying if you need someone to talk to im always here in the msn (which I did) I then found last night we were arguing about the whole thing, how she felt about being blocked off me from me how much it hurt..and how I was an idiot to think I could just come back and pretend nothing happened...after a few hours we calmed down and just started chatting again.

 

Which leads to my dilema (I am sorry about the prologue it just deemed neccessary).I think I may still feel something for this girl...she says I cannot love two people at once but I was going to propose to my other half in the near future as just previously that day I had asked my gf's father for his permission. It just seems that now that this girl is back in my life I have become conflicted again. I feel guilt ridden and I feel like I dont deserve either of them. I basically feel like im a terrible bf and I just need advice..I have had sexual feelings about this girl even after we stopped talking but I know it was more than lust because if it was we would of been sexual when we met up but instead we just enjoyed each others company. Its just weird though because when I am with my gf I think about no one else she is my world and we have such a great past together but when I talk to this girl..i forget my gf exists sometimes (unless she comes up in the conversation and it scares me) I have told this girl I may still have feelings for her but she seems to have near enough gotten over me...she said she doesnt want to talk too much because she doesnt want to fall for me again...yet she said she still believes that if they exist we would be soulmates. I just need some advice because at the moment I feel terrible...I love my gf so much but if I feeling like this about another woman...surely she deserves a better man and I thought I was that man but if I can feel so strongly about another woman yet still love her....I dont know I just need an outsider to try and guide me....I have no one else.

 

And thankyou to those patient enough to read through this. I have tried to interpret it as best as I can but of course it will always be missing something but thankyou for reading.

[norajane]

Do your gf a favor and do NOT propose to her. She does not deserve to marry a guy who is lusting after some other woman.

 

Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you can't even commit to not contacting this other girl for more than a week. Yes, facebook IS contact. What was the point of deleting and blocking her if you were going to talk to her on facebook?

 

I don't know what your feelings are for facebook girl, but whatever they are, you need to break up with your gf because you aren't being fair to her by continuing this relationship with facebook girl when you KNOW it's not just a friendship for you. Maybe if you have neither girl it will become more clear to you what you want.

[Padthai]

Do your gf a favor and do NOT propose to her. She does not deserve to marry a guy who is lusting after some other woman.

 

Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you can't even commit to not contacting this other girl for more than a week. Yes, facebook IS contact. What was the point of deleting and blocking her if you were going to talk to her on facebook?

 

I don't know what your feelings are for facebook girl, but whatever they are, you need to break up with your gf because you aren't being fair to her by continuing this relationship with facebook girl when you KNOW it's not just a friendship for you. Maybe if you have neither girl it will become more clear to you what you want.

 

 

I agree 100%