The Yeses and No's of Flirting

[MusicChick24]

I want to know what everyone thinks is appropriate and therefor normal flirting. I'm a big flirt, and so is my long term bf. Neither one of us is looking to cheat, we both have very much trust for one another, we are just two flirts. However, I seem to flirt several levels above him, and I'm not sure why. My boyfriend just harmlessly flirts with his female friends, nothing that raises a flag or could lead to cheating.

 

However, I have this problem. When a guy friend expresses to me that he likes me, I flirt like crazy. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend, and I know emotional cheating exists, and I don't want that to happen either however I can't stop from flirting. I tend to lead other guys farther than I should, talking about things I know will never happen such as cuddling/kissing these guys. I have no desire to do these things with them so why am I entertaining these thoughts like I do? If it was my boyfriend doing this with his female friends I would be furious and hurt. I feel as if I'm leading into emotional cheating. Clearly I'm over the bounds of tasteful cheating. What do I do? I'm a helpless flirt.

[Bryanp]

I am sorry but you are not a hopeless flirt. What you are doing is because you choose to do this. You are a hypocrite in that you would be furious and hurt if your boyfriend would do this but you continue to engage in high level flirting. You would be furious and hurt toward your boyfriend if he did this because this would exhibit total disrespect and distain for your relationship yet this is exactly what you do. This is a lack of maturity on your part and your failure to understand what a true relationship means. You think it is cute to sexual flirt and lead on other males while claiming you would never betray your boyfriend.

 

Do you have any idea what in the long run this will do to your boyfriend? He may say he is fine with it now but down the road other men will tell him how you come on to other men and tease with them. They will also tell him how disrespectful she is of his relationship. How is is able to respect being in a relationship with a woman who shamelessly flirts and enjoy teasing with other men? Let me gently break this to you. No man in his right man would ever want to marry a woman who engages in such behavior and shows such disrespect and distain for her partner. Your behavior means down deep he could never take you seriously as a marriage partner and why would he? Again you would be furious and feel hurt if he did this to you what you are doing to him. What is wrong with this picture? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words, and your actions speaks volumes on your lack of respect toward your boyfriend. It is time to grow up. I wish you luck.

[Adri Ana]

I am sorry but you are not a hopeless flirt. What you are doing is because you choose to do this. You are a hypocrite in that you would be furious and hurt if your boyfriend would do this but you continue to engage in high level flirting. You would be furious and hurt toward your boyfriend if he did this because this would exhibit total disrespect and distain for your relationship yet this is exactly what you do. This is a lack of maturity on your part and your failure to understand what a true relationship means. You think it is cute to sexual flirt and lead on other males while claiming you would never betray your boyfriend.

 

Do you have any idea what in the long run this will do to your boyfriend? He may say he is fine with it now but down the road other men will tell him how you come on to other men and tease with them. They will also tell him how disrespectful she is of his relationship. How is is able to respect being in a relationship with a woman who shamelessly flirts and enjoy teasing with other men? Let me gently break this to you. No man in his right man would ever want to marry a woman who engages in such behavior and shows such disrespect and distain for her partner. Your behavior means down deep he could never take you seriously as a marriage partner and why would he? Again you would be furious and feel hurt if he did this to you what you are doing to him. What is wrong with this picture? You judge a person by their actions and not by their words, and your actions speaks volumes on your lack of respect toward your boyfriend. It is time to grow up. I wish you luck.

 

 

 

 

I respect this post .

 

It truly reflects my thoughts .

I am also fond of flirting ,but I never actually flirt ,never do that as me myself .

The only place where I do it ,

it is net .Under nicknames. But being in a relationship and flirting with guys (guyS) is really disrespectful to the partner one has at the moment .

 

Per my perception it is rather disrespectful even for the Girl herself ,not only her bf .

 

 

____________________

To the author :

 

If you love your bf as you tell , even if you just respect him ,

or at least you respect Your Own Self , then stop flirting while being in a relationship . Guys are so gossiping ,you cant believe ! They are worse than girls . They `ll talk at your back,how flirty you are,how unlucky your partner is,how easy you are to get ,to win,to lay down ,so on ...

I guess,I told enough

 

Best `f luck !

[Ayemtee]

I want to know what everyone thinks is appropriate and therefor normal flirting. I'm a big flirt, and so is my long term bf. Neither one of us is looking to cheat, we both have very much trust for one another, we are just two flirts. However, I seem to flirt several levels above him, and I'm not sure why. My boyfriend just harmlessly flirts with his female friends, nothing that raises a flag or could lead to cheating.

 

However, I have this problem. When a guy friend expresses to me that he likes me, I flirt like crazy. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend, and I know emotional cheating exists, and I don't want that to happen either however I can't stop from flirting. I tend to lead other guys farther than I should, talking about things I know will never happen such as cuddling/kissing these guys. I have no desire to do these things with them so why am I entertaining these thoughts like I do? If it was my boyfriend doing this with his female friends I would be furious and hurt. I feel as if I'm leading into emotional cheating. Clearly I'm over the bounds of tasteful cheating. What do I do? I'm a helpless flirt.

 

Stop flirting like you're a single broad looking for action and respect your boyfriend for who he is, your SO.

[MusicChick24]

I think you all missed the point of my thread.

I don't flirt like I'm single. All the guys I've ever flirted with know I'm in a relationship and don't want to actually do things. I don't say thing with intent to do them I say it to joke around. MY BOYFRIEND DOES THE SAME STUFF WITH HIS FEMALE FRIENDS. ITS JOKE FLIRTING LOL.

Guess none of ya'll understand that. But I've been steady and faithful to my man for three years and him to me. Someday we'll be married...I guess none of ya'll can understand fun because your a bunch of miserable prudes that's why your in this particular forum in the first place. But sorry I even opened my mouth.

[BoerumHill]

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j

 

Hook, line and sinker.

[Bryanp]

You said "If my boyfriend was doing these things with his female friends I would be furious and hurt". You can rationalize it any way you wish but this statement shows what a hypocrite you are.

[BobSacamento]

I have seen girls do this before. I find it sad. I immediately come to the conclusion they are in a worthless relationship.

[dashing daisy]

Only you know why you act like this. Maybe you like the extra male attention, or it makes you feel attractive? I don't know, I can't read your mind.

 

So both you and your boyfriend realize that some level of flirting is okay, and if it works for both of you, then that's great. But I also get the sense that you are concerned because you feel that you are going above the "tasteful cheating" level? (I'm assuming you meant to say flirting?)

 

To be honest, it doesn't matter that much what other random people think, but if you think it's inappropriate, or your boyfriend does, then it matters. It sounds like you want to stop, but you aren't sure how?

 

Obviously you are getting something out of this behavior, or you wouldn't do it anymore. I think perhaps some introspection is in order, so you can figure out what exactly it does for you, and maybe some more constructive ways to get whatever that is, without feeling like you are doing something wrong, or borderline wrong. That's not a pleasant feeling.

 

Also, you might want to think about the feelings of the guys you are flirting with. They have expressed that they like you, and whether you realize it or not, you are leading them on. Yes, they know you have a boyfriend, and they "know" you would never do the things you joke about...but they like you, and you are sending mixed signals. No matter how much you say certain things, people respond to your behavior - especially guys who have feelings for you, and are probably looking for signs that you might feel the same way. It's not really fair to them--and I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but maybe that could give you some incentive to stop flirting so much.

 

I'm not sure what else I can say. If you really want to stop, it's probably going to take a bit of effort. If you're used to acting a certain way, and it's been fine for you so far, it's not that easy to just stop. But it's possible, and if you are motivated to do it, you can.

[dashing daisy]

Also-- you asked for people's opinions on what was and was not appropriate as far as flirting goes, and they gave them. Maybe it wasn't what you wanted to hear, and maybe it was blunt and came off to you as being rude, but they were just being honest. I don't think they were trying to be insulting, or saying you can't have fun. If the flirting is all in fun, and it's fine with you and your boyfriend, I don't think there is a problem. But you said yourself that you have a "problem", you "flirt like crazy" and you feel as though you are leading into "emotional cheating." We are just responding to that, and trying to help. I can only speak for myself, but I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, make you feel bad, or insult you. I'm being honest and trying to help. If that's not what you wanted, I'm not sure why you asked for advice.

 

In any case, I'm glad you've had a good relationship for 3 years, and you plan to get married. That's great, and I wish the best for you.

[510]

I want to know what everyone thinks is appropriate and therefor normal flirting. I'm a big flirt, and so is my long term bf. Neither one of us is looking to cheat, we both have very much trust for one another, we are just two flirts. However, I seem to flirt several levels above him, and I'm not sure why. My boyfriend just harmlessly flirts with his female friends, nothing that raises a flag or could lead to cheating.

 

However, I have this problem. When a guy friend expresses to me that he likes me, I flirt like crazy. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend, and I know emotional cheating exists, and I don't want that to happen either however I can't stop from flirting. I tend to lead other guys farther than I should, talking about things I know will never happen such as cuddling/kissing these guys. I have no desire to do these things with them so why am I entertaining these thoughts like I do? If it was my boyfriend doing this with his female friends I would be furious and hurt. I feel as if I'm leading into emotional cheating. Clearly I'm over the bounds of tasteful cheating. What do I do? I'm a helpless flirt.

Um, Stop what you're doing!

[Cookie Puss]

I think you all missed the point of my thread.

I don't flirt like I'm single. All the guys I've ever flirted with know I'm in a relationship and don't want to actually do things. I don't say thing with intent to do them I say it to joke around. MY BOYFRIEND DOES THE SAME STUFF WITH HIS FEMALE FRIENDS. ITS JOKE FLIRTING LOL.

Guess none of ya'll understand that. But I've been steady and faithful to my man for three years and him to me. Someday we'll be married...I guess none of ya'll can understand fun because your a bunch of miserable prudes that's why your in this particular forum in the first place. But sorry I even opened my mouth.

 

So you come here for confirmation that it's ok to do what you doing... People here are telling you it's wrong, so you insult the whole board?

 

You're right, you should have never posted here.