repressed anger against bf's parents...

[ladylol1234]

My bfs dad said something very hurtful to me today. I'm very hurt. I don't know how to react or if I should just leave it alone? I love my boyfriend and I will not let his family bring me down. His dad has said hurtful things in the past and I've let them go, but this time he took it too far.

 

What should I do?

[Citizen Erased]

It depends, what did he say? Is your boyfriend aware of what was said and how it hurt you?

[ladylol1234]

It depends, what did he say? Is your boyfriend aware of what was said and how it hurt you?

 

Are you willing to hear the story because it's a long story. So if you want to know, I'll share it with you.

[sb129]

go ahead- we're listening

[Citizen Erased]

Of course, that is what we're here for!

[ladylol1234]

go ahead- we're listening

It's going to take me at least ten minutes. There's so much to say.

[sb129]

OK, no problem. Just start at the beginning.

[ladylol1234]

Me and my boyfriends sister got into it a few days ago. I was in the wrong. I apologized to her last night through email. This morning I woke up and my boyfriend was gone. When I looked out the window his dad was looking around our garage.

 

My boyfriend drove over to his grandmothers house to borrow her garage door opener to see if it would work on our garage. When he got there, I guess his dad was there. His dad asked him why he needed the garage door opener and he told him becasue he has reason to believe that his sister stole ours. There were fresh foot prints in the snow leading to our back door. We live right next door to a church, so whoever walked over came from the church. His sister is known to do crazy stuff, like slashing peoples tires, carving her curse words into hoods of cars, she once put a knive to her dads throat and stuff like that. She has some major issues.

 

Before we even became friends, my boyfriend told me to watch my back.

 

She is by far not an angel. She found out she was pregnant 2 mos. ago and didn't stop smoking weed. I've tried to tell her to stop because it's not healthy for the fetus, but her excuse is that she needs it for morning sickness and that "it won't harm the baby". Her parents knew about her drug habit long before we even became friends. She peer pressured me into smoking pot. I didn't like the way it made me feel, so I quit. I only smoked for about two weeks. I'm not saying she's a bad person for smoking, but smoking while she is pregnant is just selfish.

 

To get back on track, my boyfriends dad came over my house asking me what was going on in a very deep tone of voice. I told him right away that "your daughter is being a bitc". We continued on into my house and he asked me why I didn't tell him his daughter was getting smoking pot. I told him that it was not my business. She has been smoking long before we started hanging out and that she peer pressured me to smoke pot.

 

When he and I became friends, I introduced her to my cousin Gina. Gina happens to smoke pot too. Gina and her hit it off right away and now my bfs sister hangs out with her, in my opinion, only to get high, but whatever.

 

My boyfriends dad started saying that he wanted to have a good christmas and that he already has enough problems going on, in a very mean tone...basically yelling at, like it was my fault. He said that his wife is at home with a bad back and depressed (she had been depressed for a long time!, his other daughter was having problems with her bf, etc) I said, sorry, but those are NOT my problems, why are you telling? It's not my fault that you are having problems! Then he mentioned something about my bf hating him for the last time he told me to stay away! and again it was because of his daugther! When she was 16 *4 years ago) she came over to me and my boyfriends house crying, telling us that her dad was hitting her and that she needed somewhere to stay and that she didn't want to go home. I had only knew my boyfriend for not even a year, so I didn't know about all the drama that went on in his family. I asked her if she could stay with her grandma? I was trying to give her advice.. Ididn't know what to say. I was only 18 at the time too!

 

Anyways we made her call her parents and tell them where she was...I ended up taking her home. She went home and told them that I was telling her she should go live with her grandma. They got really upset about that and told me not to come over. I was very hurt. I probably should've stayed out of it! They ended up apologizing a few days later. and everything went back to normal. I don't know what it is about his parents but for some reason they have never really opened up to me. Sometimes being very short with me.

 

Today when he came over, he accused me of hanging out with her over Ginas house this past Friday. I told him that I did see her on Friday, but I only saw her becasue me and Ginas sister were dropping ginas daugther off. We took her bowling. His sister was over there smoking when I got there! I didn't hang out over there. It was a hi and bye!

 

So he starts talking about my cousins...Telling me that he doesn't want his daugther to be around my cousins becasue they basically live a crappy life style and live in the projects.. I got really upset and told him that ONE of my cousins lives in the projects and that's because she had no choice. Her mother passed away and she didn't have anywhere else to go. She had to do what she had to do to take care of her her daughter. She doesn't have parents catering to her every need! And my cousin/best friend may live in the projects but she is a very good person!!!! She doesn't do drugs or drink even! She stays to herself and is a very nice person with a big heart! Her daughter passed away on Sept 19 of SIDS in someone elses care (her daughters god parents--who were very good people, with very good jobs).

 

Her daughter passed away. My cousin hasn't been the same since. She was a very good mother to her daugther! A very good mother! I can show u pictures if you'd like to see?

 

To get to the point, before he walked out my door he said that he didn't want HIS GRANDCHILD to DIE like my cousins DAUGTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He has no idea how much that hurt!!!! He basically thinks that she was in bad care....!

[ladylol1234]

me and my boyfriend moved in together when he graduated from h.s. When have been living together since we were 18. In that time we have lived right around the corner from his parents for nearly 5 years and NOT once have they came over to our house to have dinner or visit!! We have always had to go to there house. My boyfriend has always gotten the short end of the stick. He went off on his father today! He really let it out! He told him that he is so fed up for being blamed for his sisters problems. He is the eldest and has always been blamed for everything! When he lived at home, he cleaned the house, cooked for his sisters, and did all the housework! HIM. He had to work for what he wanted..HIM!

 

He moved out and got away and is doing so good for himself...Is 22 years old and makes nearly 40 k a year working at a college. He has a career and is 4 classes away from graduating from college. NOT once have i heard his parents say I am so proud of YOU SON!! NOT ONCE!!! He is doing good for himself!! Doesn't do drugs or anything!! He was mad when I told him I smoked pot, but forgave me under the condition that I don't do it again! which I won't becasue it could jeopardize my career. I am a second semester nursing student! I never smoked while at the hospital or at school..only did on the weekend. I will never do it again!

 

My boyfriend was told that if he ever came back home--he would have to pay rent! They are letting their jobless daugther live in the house to save up money! What kind of stuff is that???????

 

Since I have been in this family I have felt like an outsider! ALWAYS! They are so closed off and shallow...they are very judgemental and talk about everyone.They have problems with their own neighbors they are such as.ses...! W