ihatemyself Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Last night, I was out with my ex, that my boyfriend hates because my ex is still in love with me. & then somehow we just kissed and I DID NOT STOP IT! I don't know why, while it was all happening all I was thinking about is my boyfriend how much I love him and how I'm hurting him right now & I still had no control over that kiss. I came home & I just couldn't stop crying because I love my boyfriend so much I have been with him for 2 years . My boyfriend is controlive, he doesnt let me speak to any guys especially this ex. But this ex has always been there for me when my boyfriend hurt me. & at this point of our relationship I felt like he doesnt care about me and doesnt appreciate me, then all of the sudden when I was with my ex my bf texted me sayin I miss you I love you and I felt so guilty. When I show him I care he doesnt/ when I dont show it he does ???????????? & my ex just kissed me & I didnt know what to do.... I can't tell my boyfriend because he will breakup with me and never look me in the face ever again , because I kept talking to my ex before when he did not allow me to and he got mad so now Im doing it again?? BUT I DONT WANT TO LIE I FEEL SO GUILTY!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 unless your ex physically held you down and planted one on you, you had control. We are adults. We have control over our own actions. WHY are you going out with your ex when you know he still loves you and your Current BF hates it? Break it off with your current BF and go back with your EX then. don't keep playing this game. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ihatemyself Posted December 22, 2008 Author Share Posted December 22, 2008 I cant do that I love my boyfriend more than anything. I cant be without him It was a mistake !! & I really regret It idk wa to do I havent slept all night Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 but if the dude hasn't been there for you like you say, when you needed him, how supportive is that??? It's not cool to keep running into your ex's arms when your BF isn't there for you...that's not cool. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ihatemyself Posted December 22, 2008 Author Share Posted December 22, 2008 Your right, but I made my bf that way, I made him not appreciate me because of all our past fights, we lost trust in eachtoehr once but we built it back and I just feel like I broke it again. When i went to hang ou with my ex I did not plan to kiss him it just happened. I lovem y bf I want to be with him We are planning to get married, and I cant see myself without him I jsut wanna fix this Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 You can't "just fix this" and forget about it and marry your bf. You obviously still have feelings for your ex, whether you want to admit it to yourself or not. You wouldn't have kissed him if you didn't have feelings for him, and you wouldn't have kissed him if you were so happy with your bf. You have two problems: your relationship with your bf is not good, and you cheated on him with your ex. Decide which of them you want, and cut off ALL contact with the other. And be honest with your bf if you're going to stay with him and tell him you cheated. He deserves to know this about you since he wants to marry you. Either you can get through this together, or you can't. Staying silent will not fix anything. Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 if your BF is a great guy worth keeping, then you need to come clean and regain his trust, AGAIN. AND, you need to learn to trust and be honest with yourself. You can't keep hanging out with your EX or call him or text him or Anything...if you want to have a good trusting realtionship with your BF. ESPECIALLY if you know and He Knows that your EX is still in love with you!!!!!!!!! Come on! You're going to have to be honest with both guys. an Ex of mine recently tried to get back in touch with me and gave me her number and wanted to catch up even though I told her i was married now. I didn't respond to her. because, it's not cool. And i have NO plans to keep in touch with her, even though i DID have strong feelings for her in the past. It's not fair to my wife, who i love more than anything. This EX of mine, is in my past, where she should be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ihatemyself Posted December 22, 2008 Author Share Posted December 22, 2008 I cant come clean to him he will never take me back! Never ever... and i dont like my ex idc about him. i love my bf it just hurts me so much what I did to him Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 If you don't tell your boyfriend, then what you have will be based on a lie. If you are worth taking back (which is up to your boyfriend to decide) then you might be able to earn his trust and have a stronger relationship in the future. If your boyfriend is a good guy, stop worrying about your needs and come clean. He deserves to make the an informed choice about the two of you and whether he wants to be with you. Kissing another guy is selfish - Not telling him about it is also selfish. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 How would you feel if your boyfriend did to you what you did to him? What if he said I do not want to tell her the truth because she might break up with me? You plan to marry your boyfriend but have no problem keeping in touch with your ex and now kissing him. Either you have a relationship based on honesty and respect or one based on dishonesty and lies. You owe him the truth and I think you know this. Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 and i dont like my ex idc about him then why are you hanging out your Ex in a setting where it's comfortable for him to Kiss You, if you don't like him and don't care about him? That doesn't make sense. If you don't tell your boyfriend, you're living a lie, i agree. If you're feeling guilty enough to post about this, the guilt will build from not telling him, for months and years to come. If you tell him and he WON'T take you back, that's something you're just going to have to deal with, at least you took a stand and decided to come clean and be Honest and Truthful as a Person. WHY, may i ask, do you hang with your Ex????????? Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I cant come clean to him he will never take me back! Never ever... and i dont like my ex idc about him. i love my bf it just hurts me so much what I did to him You need to come clean. If you don't your whole relationship will be a lie. Secrets like this don't go away. They rot and fester like a disease of your soul. It slowly infects and taints your feelings until its wrecks your whole relationship. Besides, it sounds like you have had issues like this in the past... so this is something you should already know. Link to post Share on other sites
PrincessPeach Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 How can you say you love him more than anything else when it is clear you can't even respect him?! If he doesn't like you hanging out with an ex (even moreso an ex who still has romantic feelings for you!) then why the hell do you hang out with your ex? That's like spitting in your boyfriends face, like you don't care about his emotions. If your ex still has feelings for you situations like yours are likely to happen if you continue to see and confide in him. Your boyfriend knows this... I don't see why you couldn't understand that. You need to realize that you and your ex CANNOT be friends. You need to stop contact with him, any other choice is just more selfishness and disrespect. It's better you tell him than him find out some other way. Hiding it from him will only make things worse. If he finds out through some other way... it will be much less likely he will ever accept you back after that. If you tell him it at least shows honesty and that you care about him. Then you respect that it is his decision to make and not ask for any demands youself (for example, do NOT say that you want to stay friends with your ex). If you don't learn from your mistake... you're just going to make the same mistake again, whether you think so or not. Link to post Share on other sites
atwitsend Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 You won't need to tell your boyfriend. Your ex probably has already. what does he have to lose. Your boyfriend wild dump you and you will run likitysplit to your ex. You will probably go to see him. And you will be so angry HRRRRRRMMMMPHH. He will apologize and tell you he loves you and you will then be in the consolation mode. And unless you are chained to the wall. You will be in his bed in 5 minutes, looking to be consoled. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Maybe this is why your bf didn't want you to hang around your ex? Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 You are not gf material let alone marriage material. You may be one day but not now.You have cheated, lied and now you don't even respect him enough to tell the truth. If you can not tell him the truth you better let him go. This way he can find someone worth investing in. How would you like it if he was doing this to you; showing you absolutely no respect at all. Link to post Share on other sites
RelationshipAdvisor Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Dear ihatemyself: There are a couple of things here at play. First, let's talk about you. I am sensing you have a self esteem issue (your choice of a screen name speaks volumes). Secondly, this lack of self esteem allows you to be manipulated by those that are trying to control your behavior. Look at your current boyfriend. By your own account he mistreats you until he suspects you may be outside of his sphere of influence in which case he showers you with words to woo you back. I think you need to sort out your feelings about who YOU are and more importantly, feel good about who you are as a person. When you get to that point, you will more clearly see through the prism of life and have a clearer understanding of the people you bring into your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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