Talking to friend about former feelings

[luvncurls]

So, I just broek up with someone recently. I am ok with it because it was mutual and we really weren't going anywhere with it. One of the people that comforts me through this whole process is a friend of the last 6 years. Several years ago I was quite enamored with him, told him so, it wasn't reciprocated and we didn't speak for almost a year. We have been friends again for almost 2 years again and he has been great and helped nurse me through this breakup. However, the last few times that we hung out he has mentioned what I told him that night that I told him that I cared for him. He said that he didn't know what it was, the fact that he was there, that I was confused, or what. He wants to talk about it, he has never mentioned it this much before and we have never talked about it before. I think that we do need to talk about it, but I dunno how to even go through it? I am dont want to do it now because I still feeling all weird emotionally, but if I value our friendship, I need to do it soon.

[norajane]

He said that he didn't know what it was, the fact that he was there, that I was confused, or what.

I don't understand what this means. Is he saying he's been thinking a lot lately about how you used to care for him, and he's not sure why he's been thinking about it?

 

He wants to talk about it, he has never mentioned it this much before and we have never talked about it before.

I don't understand this either. If he wants to talk about it, why hasn't he told you what he's thinking?

 

What are you confused about? Do you still care for him in THAT way? Are you open to starting a relationship with him?

 

Or would you prefer to push back right now and stay friends because you don't see him as a romantic prospect anymore? I can see how you might not be so into him at this point in time. After turning you down years ago, he can't expect you to feel exactly the same as you did back then, and he can't expect that you'll be able to go from 0 to 60 just because he's ready now.

 

He may need to do a little work to flirt and treat you like a woman he's interested in, instead of expecting that you'd just be ready to jump to be in a relationship with him. Maybe if he dates you - takes you out on dates and treats you like a woman he's really into and wants to win you over - your feelings for him will clarify and you'll see him in a romantic light again.