Sometimes I feel like I pissed away my youth...

[Lights]

Is there anyone here who got over this sort of thing? Just the feeling of wasted youth and time and opportunities lost to an ineffectual way of life?

 

Until somewhat recently, I managed to keep a good job over time, but that was where things ended. Several months ago, that ended, and things just got progressively worse. Foolishly, I ended up at my parents' place again. Though that situation can be remedied in time, but now when I look at myself thinking back over the years, I often think that I failed myself.

 

All these years went by, and now I'm dangerously close to 30. Not like there's something special about that number, but over the years I've realized that this wasn't the life I wanted to live (life decided by jobs that I couldn't even get purely on my own but rather got via nepotism, career sort of "chosen for me" as a result of not being able to get any other jobs, brutally hostile social environments and near-total failure in my "social life" or lack thereof, etc.), but felt powerless to do anything about it, and soon my 20s will be over.

 

Now I'm back to the start. Everything's blank. Don't even know what to do career-wise, or even how to figure out what direction is worth taking anymore. Still angry at missing what I imagine could have been, both professionally and socially, but also feeling that I may not have personally had the capacity to do better.

 

I'm doing all the conventional stuff to improve things as best I know; looking at going back to school, keeping contacts with old co-workers, etc. But even for going to school, I'm not sure if I'm even doing the right thing at all, or whether I'm simply living that life again of something having been chosen for me. But yet I can't seem to figure out what would be better than that.

 

It's like that question some people say people ask about where one would be in five years. You can bet if someone asked me that five years ago, I wouldn't have imagined that time would have been spent the way it was, and certainly wouldn't have wished it upon my future self.

 

For those who've got over this sort of thing: what did you do? What sorts of things did you look for and find?

 

 

 

Someone once mentioned to me that taking some time off to volunteer in another area would be a good idea just to see more places, and that one could find out that way what one valued through not having the usual routine comforts. I'm considering something like that, but I'm just hoping it's not just another waste of time and resources.

 

For those who've read all this stuff, thanks.

[2sure]

Look, stop it. I am going to take the time to give you some good advice here.

 

You have heard the cliche: Youth is wasted on the young.

Its not for nothing you know!

But you are still young. I can prove it.

 

Remember how when you were 16 you thought 23 was old? Then when you were 23 you thought back to how young 16 was? OK. Now you are hitting 30. I am 40ish and I look back and realize how young 30 was.

I have regret, lots of it. I didn't make decisions so they were made for me. Looking back, if I started - I mean just started - when I was 30, that would have been time enough!

 

So start.

 

You are only 30. You lost your job and are back with your folks. It sucks, but welcome to 2008/09. Its common and nothing to be shamed to the point of immobilization about!

 

Now the advice:

 

It doesnt matter what direction you go in - just make a decision and go.

Changing course in the middle is OK, once you are at least facing the right direction.

 

I know a bunch of people, attorneys, veterinarians, investment bankers that are a models of success and didnt go back to school until they were in their 30s. And if you dont feel you can focus on one exact path:

GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Figure out what you want to end up with after a year. Go Back Full Time.

 

Of all of my regrets, and I have success now - I regret not going back to school. I never felt a "calling" towards any profession - could never decide. So, a decision was made for me. I ended up with a loose set of skills and because I'm bright I have been able to parlay that into a decent job. If I only I would have used my smarts for good instead of ...well, not evil maybe...but nothing.

 

You are only 30. If you decide nothing, when you are 40 you will look back and say: My God, I wish I had known when I was young and only 30!!

 

Look at your future today as an open road before you, because trust me - it still is.

[You'reasian]

Job market isn't looking too bright, I'm afraid.

 

Employment in manufacturing, construction, retail and business services has dropped drastically over the past year. The US national unemployment rate is at its 20-something year low at 6.7% with approximately 4.7 million people who "lost their jobs and are not expecting to be called back"

 

http://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/empsit.pdf

 

Use this downtime to network in your trade, attend seminars, take classes and think about what it is you wish to do. Volunteer, create a new venture, improve something that needs it and go full bore.

 

Get support you need to make it happen.

 

Keep your eye open for job openings, but spend your downtime creating something useful.

 

Let's say you're an engineer.

 

Find a way to employ the unemployed in I don't know some kind of government venture. Start with government ventures that created jobs in our past - like the TVA.

 

Instead of building bridges and damns, build sustainable energy systems. Check out the book of government grants and funds; there's bound to be a grant you can apply for projects that are:

 

1. Environmentally friendly.

2. Energy efficient.

 

Write a business plan for your venture. Establish the sources of working capital to run operations and hire the unemployed (look to historic record of the TVA). Run it by someone with an MBA to look at the figures (there's bound to be an unemployed MBA in your network). Create contracts - run them by a hungry lawyer.

 

Propose that the city use solar power for traffic assets, rather than the power grid. Propose how the change will be possible, the benefits, jobs created on the project etc. - you're an engineer so you know more about this than I do Contact a firm that has exprience doing traffic-related construction, offer to take out someone to lunch to learn how they are able to get their contracts approved.

 

Find cases were this has worked in the past. Learn lessons.

 

See how far you can run with this idea. It might not be successful but it'd be a helluva learning experience to keep you busy while you also send out resumes.

 

Best of luck.

 

PS - people are going to shoot down your ideas. If its functional, listen and learn if its for other reasons, find someone else.

 

PSS - remember when alternative energy was laughed at? Look at some of the alternative energy projects between manufacturers, chemical/energy companies, and universities

[LovieDove24]

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. How easy it is to get caught up in the what if's.....

 

But your time was not wasted my friend. You now have VALUABLE information on how you DONT want to live your life. And sure it may seem like this is backwards and illogical but just think how many times our mothers told us not to get near the hot stove and we touched it anyways. We cannot always learn from what others tell us, we have to make the mistakes and realize it on our own. So now that you know how you dont want to live your life, I'd say starting over at 30 is as fine a time as any!

[Eve]

I dont think that most people dont know what they want to do until they are around your age anyway. I say go and engage in a form of study and volunteer. You may change your mind along the way but its all part and parcel of your journey. I laugh when I look back at my earlier days, I am nearly 37 now. I cant believe that I was once enrolled to study interior design! That did not work out one little bit so I studied something else. You have had a bad year my friend. Brush yourself off and start again... but what you have been through is very valuable. I am just glad that you were able to go back home to recuperate. Whatever you do make sure you factor in things which are fun! But definately use this opportunity to go and study something.Regards,Eve xx

[Lights]

Thanks all for responding. The whole deal's been something that's been making me feel pretty down. I'm doing what I can to get things done...

 

OK. Now you are hitting 30. I am 40ish and I look back and realize how young 30 was.

I have regret, lots of it. I didn't make decisions so they were made for me. Looking back, if I started - I mean just started - when I was 30, that would have been time enough!

 

So start.

 

You are only 30. You lost your job and are back with your folks. It sucks, but welcome to 2008/09. Its common and nothing to be shamed to the point of immobilization about!

Yeah, that's true. I wouldn't be quite as ashamed about it if it were just a one-time occurrence (I've been stuck in this situation of back-with-the-parents before), but it's true that it's not so uncommon. In my case, it wasn't so much that I didn't make decisions as much as the ones I was able to take turned out to be a bunch of b.s. and I ended up taking whatever little I was able to find, and further decision-making on my part was hampered by a subsequent total lack of trust in everything (work/careers, school, many people, etc.). I can only hope things will work out in the future...

 

Now the advice:

 

It doesnt matter what direction you go in - just make a decision and go.

Changing course in the middle is OK, once you are at least facing the right direction.

 

I know a bunch of people, attorneys, veterinarians, investment bankers that are a models of success and didnt go back to school until they were in their 30s. And if you dont feel you can focus on one exact path:

GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Figure out what you want to end up with after a year. Go Back Full Time.

 

Of all of my regrets, and I have success now - I regret not going back to school. I never felt a "calling" towards any profession - could never decide. So, a decision was made for me. I ended up with a loose set of skills and because I'm bright I have been able to parlay that into a decent job. If I only I would have used my smarts for good instead of ...well, not evil maybe...but nothing.

 

You are only 30. If you decide nothing, when you are 40 you will look back and say: My God, I wish I had known when I was young and only 30!!

 

Look at your future today as an open road before you, because trust me - it still is.

Thanks for pointing those examples (people) out; I've often been afraid that I've been significantly "behind the curve" when competing against people who discovered their goals earlier. Even now, it kind of gets at me, but I suppose it's not insurmountable.

 

Yeah, I never felt a "calling" towards anything really, and don't really have one now. In some ways it's a good thing, in that I know that my previous job [computer programming] is only something I'd do for the money, and even there I'm not certain how long I could continue at that. At this rate, I'm probably onto the same track that you describe yourself on. Hopefully I can find something that will work well.

 

At the moment going to school full-time (trying for MBA) is what I'm applying for. I'm just hoping school won't be just another expensive nightmare like it was the last time around. Ideally I'd like to imagine I know what I need to do to make it better this time around, but in reality I don't, but it's not like I have that much else to lose.

 

Use this downtime to network in your trade, attend seminars, take classes and think about what it is you wish to do. Volunteer, create a new venture, improve something that needs it and go full bore...

 

See how far you can run with this idea. It might not be successful but it'd be a helluva learning experience to keep you busy while you also send out resumes.

 

Best of luck.

Yeah, that would be a cool idea. At the moment I'm more focused on getting my applications for school in; haven't been doing much job-searching or much else. I'm hoping to change careers in the near future rather than continue what I'm doing now. Hopefully I can come up with something after time clears up...

 

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. How easy it is to get caught up in the what if's.....

 

But your time was not wasted my friend. You now have VALUABLE information on how you DONT want to live your life. And sure it may seem like this is backwards and illogical but just think how many times our mothers told us not to get near the hot stove and we touched it anyways. We cannot always learn from what others tell us, we have to make the mistakes and realize it on our own. So now that you know how you dont want to live your life, I'd say starting over at 30 is as fine a time as any!

 

Yeah, that's true. It's sometimes painful to even think about it that way (knowing what the price of letting things continue is), but it's definitely true.

 

For me it's not quite as much the what-if's as much as the what-now's. Just questions of what really works at all, how to arrange everything so that it impresses enough people that I can actually get good jobs on my own (and/or to be able to go back to the old career in other locations and a sufficiently decent position if this turns out not to work out), and so on.

 

I dont think that most people dont know what they want to do until they are around your age anyway. I say go and engage in a form of study and volunteer. You may change your mind along the way but its all part and parcel of your journey. I laugh when I look back at my earlier days, I am nearly 37 now. I cant believe that I was once enrolled to study interior design! That did not work out one little bit so I studied something else. You have had a bad year my friend. Brush yourself off and start again... but what you have been through is very valuable. I am just glad that you were able to go back home to recuperate. Whatever you do make sure you factor in things which are fun! But definately use this opportunity to go and study something.Regards,Eve xx

 

I suppose that's true that many don't know what they want to do. Though it can get tough competing against those that already do, however.

 

Yeah, I'm planning to go back to school and may get some volunteering in. The scheduling might be tricky though, but I'll see how things work out.

 

True, living at the parents' house is an advantage many people don't have. (I've had friends who've had to do that for quite a long time and/or very often; but I'm under the impression the stigma is not so strong on them given their cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds.)

 

I'm hoping to get some fun stuff in once the applications are out. I don't know how they'll be scheduled just yet, but I definitely plan on it.

[georgejungle]

i hear ya completely. i too have felt this. I've done

alright in my life, but i REALLY REALLY wish i had forced

myself to go to school and gotten a Degree. That's something

that i really wish i had done and just paid to put myself thru

school and get a BA or something.

 

That's why i'm making sure that my child GOES TO COLLEGE

and finishes.

[Eve]

George, foster in your baby a thirst for knowledge, especially facts. Make sure they are cultured and well socialised but please dont go on about them going to University from a young age. Let them come to that conclusion themselves. Work with the temperment of the child because University does not suit everyone. What matters is that they are able to enjoy their lives and have good enough social skills to make good, proper friends and be one themself.

 

Sorry, I had to say that.

 

No matter what George, you are who you are regardless of any Degree/s. Honestly sharing your journey with your child is the most precious gift ever!

 

OP. Please excuse my intrusion into the discussion.

 

Regards,

Eve xx

[griffinchicken53]

i'm in a similar mindset. i started having medical issues and didn't realize it, thought i was just depressed, had sleep trouble and getting to work on time. ended up getting fired then started having seizures. that was 3 years ago. my job experience was in medical distribution/warehouse type work. now all those jobs are routed through temp agencies, so where I was making 12 an hour with benefits, i'd be making 8 an hour with no insurance. and my medicine is expensive. live with the parents so i can't get financial help with my medicine or past hospital bills because of my parent's income.

I look at it the same about the 20's being over. i never went to florida for spring break, or go to mardi gras to look at boobs. i feel like i'm too old for alot of things now, and the only women i'm gonna meet are ones with ticking biological clocks. so i'm starting over, i have to find a job just to pay my minimum bills and hope it gets better from there.

[spookie]

My God this thread is depressing. I don't even know what to say. Good luck, y'all!

[Lights]

Georgejungle and Eve: I can't advise George, but I wish you luck in your goal. Eve, no problem about the 'intrusion'; it's good that you helped someone here.

 

Griffinchicken: I'm sorry to hear of what happened to you. I would certainly not consider such a situation due to such medical duress as being something frivolous. Best of luck in the job search.

[Storyrider]

Hi Lights.

 

At least a college setting is better for meeting women than the workplace. You have an instant topic of conversation when you're taking the same course, and there are lots of ways to approach someone innocuously as a study partner, etc.

[Lovelybird]

Light, even you don't notice, I feel you've changed, in a good sense. This period is good oppotunity for you to consider life direction, a good thing.

 

What things that you are passionate about? What things that can put smile on your face when you think about them?

 

For those who've got over this sort of thing: what did you do? What sorts of things did you look for and find?

I like this question.

 

It wasn't easy for me to figure out what exactly I want in life, took me many years. In my 20's most of time I was struggling left and right, tried to find out what I was good at or passionate about.

 

My satisfaction and joy increase when the relationship between God and I become (or I feel) closer. Absense of God, those things I did cannot keep me satisfied for long. I wasn't passionate about anything in my early 20', there were many struggles in my heart, not mention to live, most of time was survive-mode. But as Lord become more and more real to me, changed me in many areas, I found many passions in me I didn't know they existed. It is a great mystery when Bible says "I will provide you living water that would spring life out of you", I guess that's it.

 

Everyone is born for good at SOMETHING. What is the most you want to do, is probably what you are born for. Maybe you should try many things until you find the one thing you love to do. I think the volunteer thing is a good advice, you can broaden your world views. As long as one continues to grow, it won't be waste of time.

[Lights]

Hi Lights.

 

At least a college setting is better for meeting women than the workplace. You have an instant topic of conversation when you're taking the same course, and there are lots of ways to approach someone innocuously as a study partner, etc.

 

Hi Storyrider. I'll definitely say I'm not exactly holding up hopes. I had a painful time in general during my college experience during my undergrad years, and I just hope that a master's/mba will be worth it since I'm looking to change careers.

 

Meeting women is quite low down on the priority list right now. I'm more worried about the future and my career direction and time planning and all, and irritated at my failures (in particular, this isn't the first time I've ended up living back at the parents' house, and I never was really able to have much control over my career in the past).

 

I'm doing all I can to improve things, but it still seems to burn me up inside.

[Franc]

My girlfriend dumped me a few years ago, took off with the kid, took all my money, lost my job, ended up on meds....I tought i lost quite a few years of my life with her, and didn't want to make the same mistake again. So i took off for Mexico! Man, did i ever had fun! I sold/gave everything i had, the car, the tv, the sound system, and i swore to experience life to the fullest. I figured i would come back when i was ready. it took me 5 years of travelling around the world. But i will tell you that much: I have lived more adventures, met more people and done more crazy things than anyone i know. I lived more during those 5 years then all the rest of my life combined.

Now i'm back in school, just got married, starting from scratch. Because i know where i'm going and that's what i really want. I know enough about myself now to make the most of the time i have. So if you feel you're wasting your time, cut the ties to the material things holding you down and go live life to the fullest!! It's the best thing that ever happened to me

[You'reasian]

Hi Storyrider. I'll definitely say I'm not exactly holding up hopes. I had a painful time in general during my college experience during my undergrad years, and I just hope that a master's/mba will be worth it since I'm looking to change careers..

 

Did you ever pledge or pick up any interesting hobbies?

 

When I wasn't cramming for an exam, I was out doing some kind of hobby or meeting up with friends.. A buddy of mine ended up competing in Ballroom dancing and meeting/dating lots of attractive ladies - still there's so much that your college has to offer.

 

Meeting women is quite low down on the priority list right now. I'm more worried about the future and my career direction and time planning and all, and irritated at my failures (in particular, this isn't the first time I've ended up living back at the parents' house, and I never was really able to have much control over my career in the past).

 

I'm doing all I can to improve things, but it still seems to burn me up inside.

 

Sorry to hear this. Best of luck to you!

[Lights]

Did you ever pledge or pick up any interesting hobbies?

Rush yes, pledge no. The only frat people who were cool to me ended up turning out to be nearly all utterly unambitious drunkards, so I did not deal with them further.

 

Hobbies yes, for a time.

 

When I wasn't cramming for an exam' date=' I was out doing some kind of hobby or meeting up with friends.. A buddy of mine ended up competing in Ballroom dancing and meeting/dating lots of attractive ladies - still there's so much that your college has to offer.[/quote']

I've made those mistakes before (including wasting my time with things like dancing). Unlike most of my other mistakes, I've learned from them.

 

It's long over anyways. My undergrad days were many years ago. I'm only hoping to improve my future.

 

Sorry to hear this. Best of luck to you!

 

Thanks!!

 

My girlfriend dumped me a few years ago, took off with the kid, took all my money, lost my job, ended up on meds....I tought i lost quite a few years of my life with her, and didn't want to make the same mistake again. So i took off for Mexico! Man, did i ever had fun! I sold/gave everything i had, the car, the tv, the sound system, and i swore to experience life to the fullest. I figured i would come back when i was ready. it took me 5 years of travelling around the world. But i will tell you that much: I have lived more adventures, met more people and done more crazy things than anyone i know. I lived more during those 5 years then all the rest of my life combined.

Now i'm back in school, just got married, starting from scratch. Because i know where i'm going and that's what i really want. I know enough about myself now to make the most of the time i have. So if you feel you're wasting your time, cut the ties to the material things holding you down and go live life to the fullest!! It's the best thing that ever happened to me

 

Congratulations! I currently haven't the resources to take time off measured in years without a severe drop in my standard of living, but I'll definitely try traveling if time and resources etc. work out. I do need to experience more places.

[D-Lish]

hey,

 

I've been there, done that.

 

I left home at 18, then moved home at 22 to go to college- then went right into university, where I met my now ex husband. I started working and going to school then. Bought a house with my husband when I was 25.

 

OK... Chapter 2- I got a divorce and moved home when I was almost 32 for a couple months. I had been in school when it happened, and had to change career paths.

 

I then owned my own business and bought a new house. Life was grand until the economy went in the toilet- so I lost the business in August and moved home again!!! I am now 39!!!

 

It's been alright because my parents don't actually reside here- they live in another country for 3 more years- so I still have my privacy and full run of a sweet house. But it's not mine, and it's another failure. (it was also initially my mother's business I bought, ran... then lost.

 

Just know that with failure comes a whole lot of experience. I've got another job lined up and start in Feb, and am doing some piece work right now under the table that has replenished my bank account... so I will be moving out yet again. Starting again.

 

I used to feel ashamed by this- but the last guy I dated framed it for me differently. "I'd done a lot of things, put myself out there, and even though there was failure- I went after what I wanted, and certainly had many years of great sucess at it." He was right about it. I have to look at some of these situations as bearing positive experiences.

 

And so what about the parents thing. My parents currently feel happy that I can watch the place in their absence. It's not ideal, but it's changing soon again.

 

If I had have had the opportunity to travel after my divorce, I would have. I had $30,000 in profit from the sale of our house- but I couldn't reallistically piss it away. I needed to buy my next place, invest, make smart choices.

 

I am in the same position now- profit left over from the same of the second house after I lost my business. I have something I can build on.

 

Also in two years I will get the benefits of an inheritance designated for me and my other cousins. They all came of age a long time ago... my younger brother and I have to wait. me- two more years, and him 5 years! I will certainly give something to him whe I get it.

 

I'm rambling about me. I am trying to illustrate that it feels shameful at first, but once you start making plans, you start to get excited and motivated again.

 

It's not wasted anything- it's all experience that will be valuable to you in the future. I am never going to own a business again, never want to... But I have a summer position teaching "Starting a Business" to a local college. Since the segments we go over are everything I know about;(including how to go through an inc. bankruptcy()... The administration are happy about my qualifications. I did get that referral from a friend I am working for currently- who did hi MBA with the guy who is the department head.

 

So networking does work.

 

the first thing you have to do is take any crappy job that pays decent wage. Believe me- I have a crappy job. I hang x-mas lights for my friend's x-mas light business outdoors when it's -15 out. Did 150 houses in this great white north climbing trees, ladders and sliding across roof tops in snow storms.... now I am taking them down. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do to get through something. Even if you think it's beneath you.

 

Money is what matters now. Do what you have to do to get back into the work force.

 

You can work through this. Just don't think you have missed out in anything being only what 27?

 

Travel if you can muster the resources... I missed out on that and at my age now- I have regret about not taking off and exploring the world.

 

Never feel bad or that you've missed out when you've tried hard at something.

 

Good luck to you!

[You'reasian]

I've made those mistakes before (including wasting my time with things like dancing). Unlike most of my other mistakes, I've learned from them.

 

It's long over anyways. My undergrad days were many years ago. I'm only hoping to improve my future.

 

I've heard guys can meet alot of really attractive and nice women on the dance floor (not talking about hip-hop). Can't confirm this, but its worth a shot - but it seems like you just want to shoot down others suggestions lol

[Lights]

hey,

 

I've been there, done that...

Good luck to you!

 

Thanks, D-Lish. Sorry to hear about your situation; -15 must have been absolutely insane!

 

I'm 29. Although I can't say I've been as effective in "going after what you wanted" as you have, and looking back I something think that I haven't tried as hard at some things as I could have, it's good to hear what you've been able to do.

 

I'm still working on some planning and some applications and so on at the moment, so I'm not sure how the jobs thing will work just yet. But I'll definitely do more looking.

 

Good luck to you too! Hope things improve for you.

 

I've heard guys can meet alot of really attractive and nice women on the dance floor (not talking about hip-hop). Can't confirm this' date=' but its worth a shot - but it seems like you just want to shoot down others suggestions lol[/quote']

 

I have no need to worry about confirming rumors when I have cold hard experience of my own. As I've said, I've done that myself many years ago (if you're really that interested in which styles of dance, they were ballroom and salsa), and it's a complete waste of time for meeting women, no matter how many urban legends and how much hype say otherwise.

 

You're right about hip-hop though; some years back I tried learning hip-hop at a dance academy in a major city. Quite a strange atmosphere there--any attempt at socializing wasn't happening period; absolutely everyone there completely ignored absolutely every other person around (not just me) at all times (in class or not) as they battled through their quests to become a backup dancer for a somebody or else die valiantly in the attempt.

 

It's not that I'm out to shoot down anyone's suggestions; it's just that many suggestions that I've been reading on this forum are things wherein I've long ago been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, and ended up with the t-shirt set on fire while I was still wearing it. I wouldn't go around denying such claims of the methods' effectiveness or relevance in the manner that I do if I didn't know for a fact.

 

Anyways, as I was saying, attempting to meet women really isn't a priority right now, though it may be later on once my career/education/home/etc. situations are fixed and running smoothly.

[Lights]

I'm hoping you'll all pardon the navel-gazing here.

 

I've been working on my applications to schools, but time's been running out and more and more I fear that there's a significant chance that I might not get in anywhere or even get all of them in on time. I'm afraid of what will happen if I fail; I really want to put a stop to my weakness all these years, and in a world where everything seems to need to impress everyone else (resumes, school, networks, etc.) I really don't want to add more appearance of failure and wasted time. I'm doing my best to just work at it and get over all this mental-barrier stuff, but I only hope this all works out...

 

It doesn't help that I'm stuck at my parents' house while this is all happening. Convenient, but irritating...

 

Part of me wants to give up and try and move somewhere as absolutely cheap as possible and hope for the best, but I know I must continue with this in order to keep more options open in my life.

 

It's certainly not a fun process, and I'm in some ways dreading going back, but I know that I don't want to continue my current way of life either.

 

I really hate this all...

 

I'll do my best not to do too much whining, though; some of you here (D-Lish mentioned her situation) have dealt with much harder things.

 

Thanks all for listening to all my ranting here.

[You'reasian]

Best of luck!

 

Sorry to hear that things aren't working out for you. Have you considered government positions? They might be able to use a person with your background - foreign languages and such. If you can confidently pass DLI level 2 material, say in Arabic, Persian, Chinese (Mandarin), Russian, Korean, Urdu, Dari etc. you could be sought after. A good friend of mine seems to be quite good with the Persian - I guess some folks have a talent for this kind of thing?

 

Its unfortunate that Spanish is no longer a sought after language, although very useful.

 

Some jobs are more communication driven than others, some more technical driven - negotiating with a Turkish farmer in the Turkish langauge is a different skill set than calibrating the sites on an instrument, although its good to keep up both coms and technical skills while you get ready for your next gig.

 

You mentioned that you danced Balroom & Salsa. Which cities? What levels?

 

If you can find someone whos more seriously committed to the sport, you might find yourself with a good friend atleast and potentially more.

[Lights]

Best of luck!

 

Sorry to hear that things aren't working out for you. Have you considered government positions? They might be able to use a person with your background - foreign languages and such.

 

Thanks!

 

I actually don't have much of any foreign language background. I was a software geek in my previous work. I'm seriously doubting whether I want to continue there, but if things don't work out I might end up there anyways, at least temporarily. Your suggestions in an earlier post regarding tech work seemed pretty cool, though I'm not sure if I can necessarily work on implementing it at the moment.

 

I'm mainly trying to get other credentials so I can get away from coding, and hopefully gain some control over my career and life and all. It's just painful having this all hang over me. It'll be a relief when all this crap's over.

[chris250]

I say forget going back to school. I never finished college and I don't regret it. Why? because I don't have a wife and kids and I don't want them in my future.

 

Going back to school is more important for those who are looking to get married someday. I wrote women off just so I would have an excuse not to finish college. I didn't write them off for nothing.

 

Since I've already made up my mind that I'm not looking for a serious relationship I don't need a college degree. Now I'm free to just focus on getting the bare minimum physical necessities of life.

 

I'm assuming that you want to be married someday? If so then any form of self improvement is necessary.

 

That's another reason I've stopped working out and stopped worrying about eating healthy. Since I'm not looking to get married what incentive do I have to improve my physical appearance? It's much easier to let myself go at this point.

 

I'm waiting until after I die to find happiness because my hope is not in this world. My happy days will come after I die and go to heaven.

[Lights]

I say forget going back to school. I never finished college and I don't regret it. Why? because I don't have a wife and kids and I don't want them in my future...

 

I'm assuming that you want to be married someday? If so then any form of self improvement is necessary.

 

Uh, no. Marriage has nothing to do with anything here.

 

Education is just one path to self-improvement. One of the most acclaimed ones, but I certainly think its value in the job world has dramatically dropped since earlier eras. I don't know what the modern equivalent is, though.