Phil 1 Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Hi all I guess I am after some feedback and some good advise. I have been depressed for most of my life I always knew it was cos of my childhood but didnt really know how it really affected me. I have been trying all my adult life to try and get counselling of some description, I saw a CPN for 2 years that helped a lot. I have recently started seeing a psycologist and have I have just started to really understand why I have always felt like I do. ( Emotional Neglect) I am just actually realising that it is not my fault for feeling this way. In the past my relationships have lasted around 3 years and then I get myself so depressed that they just want out of the relationship. Then I went onto the next one. Through all my relationships I dont thnik I ever wanted to be with with any of them, I was in it just to make them happy. At present I am in another relationship which I never felt deep down I wanted to be in there happiness was more important. It has lasted 6 Years not sure how, Do I stay or do I go ? Will I ever be happy in a relationship, I am not really happy about myself so is there any hope? Phil. Sorry if it is a bit of a wierd post but I needed to start somewhere Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Phil, One place you could start is to try to unravel WHY it was so important to you that you make your partner happy. That is, what was inspiring/motivating you (from the inside) to be so focused on ensuring their happiness? Link to post Share on other sites
trixy Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 I had a terrible experience as a child which shaped most of my teenage years and my early adulthood. I suffered from severe depression. I was very lucky and good friends made me get help. After 5 years of councelling I began to see life differently. I had to learn to love myself before I could ever truly love another person. That was many years ago, I feel for you, but the fact that you are trying to understand means you probably will succeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phil 1 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 Yes it will take a long time I guess I have had about 16 sessions with psychologist. She did start out saying that I would have a round 16 sessions then a three month break then discharge but I think we are going to arrange more . I dont think it is fair to put a time scale on it but they have to i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Anything is possible with the right care and love. I found reading, listening to music, singing (poorly I admit) and a pretty strict walking routine helped me to attain many 'eureka' moments which have shaped an astute ability to identify when I am about to become vunerable to depression. For me, getting to the root of the depression really was about learning to give to myself what I did not receive consistently during my childhood. Surprisingly, my present wellbeing was also intrinsically tied to learning to value the good things about me, for me... I cant even express how deep that sentence goes! I eventually learned to live in the moment and this has truly helped me to better choose my relationships which included the ability to challenge my behaviour and the behaviour of others in a non 'end of the world' kind of way. I think that you have a marvelous opportunity opening up to you and I hope that you will learn to see that you are valuable and worth holding onto.All the very best,Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phil 1 Posted December 23, 2008 Author Share Posted December 23, 2008 That was a really nice sentence at the beginning (Anything is possible with the right care and love) I guess that is true, I hope I find it. Link to post Share on other sites
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