wierdmunky Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 If you've read some of my other posts, I've wrote a lot about how much I don't like my parents. They have said hurtful things to me that I believe are intentional to get their way. They've even gone as to challenging my faith, by saying I'm not "obeying".But I do love my parents because they are family, I have a lot of ill feelings toward them that come up sometimes. My bf's said: "You know, you can't pick your parents." This is true, but what about all those times I've thought they have tried to hurt me because of that fact, and that they just wanted their way. How far do you go, to get someone to think a certain way. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 forgive them, for they know not what they do ... or how seriously their behavior undermines the fragile relationship they have with you. However, I'm guilty of telling my dad that I'm going to treat him like he's stupid when he says something stupid (which upsets him, but hey, I wasn't the one who initiated the conversation with a stupid remark!). as for the faith issue? Tell them it's between you and the Big Guy, and no other input is needed, thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
alizamp Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 Hi there! I'm going to respectfully disagree with the poster above. I haven't read your previous posts, so i'm just stating what holds true as i've been in the same situation as you. I believe they probably don't comprehend what they're doing. It is their way and probably what they grew up with in some capacity, from someone. It is learned behavior. My first course of action would be family counseling. You will have a mediator that can get through to them and then maybe they'll understand what they know is not entirely proper. It doesn't matter what age. If the family is very important to you, and getting along is vital.. then this is truly your best bet as i'm assuming you've already spoken to them with no resolve. If counseling is not an option and/or they wont go... I say distance is key. Parents or not, if it's toxic behavior that causes you distress, my advice is to remove yourself from it as best as possible. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves if it's worth suffering the brunt of bad manipulative behavior to have a relationship with family.. even if it's not a good one. I can't see that it would good be for anyone. And who would benefit from the relationship? Them most likely.. and you would suffer as you have been in some way. If you do continue to subject yourself to their ways however, you must learn to accept it and move on so it does not cause you hurt. Just remember who you're dealing with, and grin and bear it. So either try to get family help, or move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 forgive them, for they know not what they do ... or how seriously their behavior undermines the fragile relationship they have with you. However, I'm guilty of telling my dad that I'm going to treat him like he's stupid when he says something stupid (which upsets him, but hey, I wasn't the one who initiated the conversation with a stupid remark!). as for the faith issue? Tell them it's between you and the Big Guy, and no other input is needed, thank you very much. haha I WISH we had that kind of relationship Link to post Share on other sites
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