Talked to BS 1st time

[liesandbetrayal]

I dont care who knows...

 

his BS is sticking by MM and told me this morning she knows who I am now and to contact their attorney not to contact her again.

 

So, I will respect her wishes and never contact her again.

 

I informed my xMM that our relationship is completely over and I will no longer contact him by text, phone, etc.

 

If he wants to see his sons I will accomodate any reasonable requests he makes to see them, as is the law and is his right as their father.

 

However, any other communication will come directly through my attorney to his. So, that is it. I am not backing away this time. I am going to do exactly as my attorney instructs. Then we will see what happens. But he is not entitled to any privacy in regards to our relationship. Court has nothing to do with our personal relationship, it only has to do with child support, etc.

 

I have sent my last communication to him. I do not expect to hear from him again. I will await my attorney and his instructions.

[liesandbetrayal]

Our children our beautiful, and if he chooses not to have a relationship with them, then that is his choice. I cant force him and the minimal he has to do is provide for them financially and they have the right to have their father's last name.

[LavendarGirl]

L&B,

No one here needs to know your xMM's name.

 

Amazing you have an attorney working on Christmas Eve. That's service for you.

 

You are lashing out in ways that (I hope) you may come to regret.

 

LG.

[2sunny]

your true colors are showing... it's not pretty!

 

at this point - step away emotionally. it's now a business relationship that only needs to be worked out through the courts.

 

let the legal system handle things for you from here on out. there's no need for any contact.

 

you have done the damage you intended to do, and more.

 

you have had choices in this - and look at what you chose. proud now? you also brought two innocent children into your world of chaos. merry christmas.

 

and your username doesn't refer to your MM - i'm sure. you've engaged in the same l&b he has been doing on his own end.

[Touche]

I absolutely agree that the OP is showing her true colors by naming this guy publicly. She's only thinking of herself and revenge...not about the kids.

 

And if you knew about medication interfering with birth control why didn't you take extra precautions?

 

This whole thing is very sad since there are two kids involved.

 

And I agree that the guy is a sleaze...money doesn't equal class. But you also played a part in all of this. You're not innocent.

[mrose2008]

I was thinking the same thing LG..I think you are upset bc he did not leave his wife for you..what do you expect..You are the other woman who happened to spread her legs and get pregnant by him twice....It is probably cheaper to give you child support than it would be to leave his wife as she would probably take 50% of his net worth..Must be nice you can live off his money for what he will pay in child support..but hey it is both your fault..He should have used a condom and not been screwing you..Just bc your kids will have his last name doesnt mean anything..They might not have a father around them..Or he could decide to go after full custody of your kids.....be prepared..

[skywriter]

True that, she's upset and lashing out, (pissed and pregnant--whoa). He's an adult and having an extramarital affair, he should be using some form of birth control himself. It doesn't all fall on the female , especially when he's the MM. His worst nightmare has come true and is now biting him back. Regardless of wether or not she, shoulda, coulda, woulda. The child is here and another will be ,and he has an obligation to step up and be responsible.

[mrose2008]

They are both at fault..She is at fault for staying with a married man after she found out he was married and still continuing to spread her legs for him....he is at fault for having an affair..he might be financially obligated to those kids but that might be where it stops...I know all about the hormones as I am 6mths pregnant and we all get upset ( I have a brother that I am upset at what he did bc he stole from me but I have to let it go as I have nieces)..Its how we handle the situation that is important...I made the decision to handle the situation different than I could have...

[HappyAtLast]

"...But he is not entitled to any privacy in regards to our relationship..."

 

His wife now knows, who else is that you think would actually care?

[herenow]

And if this goes public, he will have nothing to lose by asking for full custody of "his" children. Don't forget, he has parental rights just as much as you do. And, he has the means to fight for whatever he wants. As long as the kids are not a secret anymore, then nothing is stopping him from doing whatever he wants.

 

If his wife is sticking by him, they may prove to be a more stable family environment than the OP in this situation. Don't underestimate the influence of a high payed lawyer to make a single mother that had two children with a MM look less than parental material. Just saying, going public may not be in your best interest.

[greengoddess]

Not to be superficial but I just saw a picture of this guy. No young woman would be interested in this average looking middle aged man. Yep money!!

[liesandbetrayal]

i will do whatever is the complete honest truth. in whatever means that includes. my main concern and priority right now is my youngest son and getting through these last couple weeks of pregnancy.

 

I dont care about him anymore. He has done nothing buy lie and take advantage of me...not to mention how many other women he dated on the web-site saying he was single, 41, not married and no children...anyone date a man named "adam livingston?" I would check his photo and make sure it is really him.

 

his wife knows he has had affairs on her for years apparently. i dont care if his christmas holiday is ruined. mine and my childrens holiday isnt exactly happy happy either. why should he get to continue his life of lies and allow us to suffer for his happiness????

[Touche]

I agree with Goddess.

 

He's well past middle age! He's in his 60's.

 

And I agree about it not being in her best interest by going public and making this guy mad...not to mention that it probably won't be in her kids' best interest either. No good can come from it and it makes you look bad, OP.

 

Show more class than you've already shown. Show him that you're better than this.

[liesandbetrayal]

i didnt know he had money until i found out his true identity after i was pregnant...he gave me a fake name and everything.

 

And I truly have been and am still in love with him. I told him I would marry him any time and sign any pre-numpt he wanted the money was not important to me...as long as he took care of his children. i just wanted him...to spend my life with him.

[Saville]

At first blush I felt a bit sorry for you, but now I think of you as someone who is the epitome of selfishness. I don't condone what he did, and maybe one pregnancy is excusable, but...TWO? What kind of mom you will be I would hate to guess. FFS, you sound like a gold-digger scorned.

 

Saville

[greengoddess]

i didnt know he had money until i found out his true identity after i was pregnant...he gave me a fake name and everything.

 

And I truly have been and am still in love with him. I told him I would marry him any time and sign any pre-numpt he wanted the money was not important to me...as long as he took care of his children. i just wanted him...to spend my life with him.

 

 

Yes honey and you proved that by calling his wife on Christmas eve. SELFISH.

[Touche]

But you chose to have ANOTHER child by him AFTER you knew about his lies and deceptions. That's not only stupid but so selfish. You weren't thinking about the impact this will have on your children.

 

My heart goes out to them. It's so sad that you're having two children by a married man...a man who will more than likely not be in their lives.

 

Oh well...at least you'll have all that money to comfort you I guess.

[Touche]

Yes honey and you proved that by calling his wife on Christmas eve. SELFISH.

 

I agree. Look at all the innocent victims in all of this. It's really terrible.

 

It didn't have to be this way. You could have stopped seeing him the second you found out that he lied about who he is and what his marital status is.

[liesandbetrayal]

its hard to walk away from someone you love, who says they love you and cant leave their wife now but doesnt know what the future holds.

 

I love my children and just want security for them.

 

My main reason for contacting his wife is I wanted the lies to stop. I knew if I contacted her the relationship would pretty much be over...so I was creating a situation I could be free of his lies.

 

I would never have left him...it would have continued his way for years and years....

[liesandbetrayal]

I think selfish is not wanting to know the truth...why would a BS not want the truth???? I have documents, photos, etc. I guess she is happy with a man who is a serial cheater and liar.

 

Whatever, I am free of him...I know that now...all that is left is to provide for the children and that is it.

[mrose2008]

This guy has a bad case of the uglies...and you honestly thought he would leave his wife for you..Come on he is rich...You were his little whore on the side..My guess is you were just a piece of a**and no one dates a guy that old (if you are attractive) unless they have money..You should have ended the relationship the moment you found out he was married..Did you honestly think he would give up his life for you ..Common sense says no..Taking on someone powerful like him is not smart..I grew up in state politics all my life and the state political connections are nothing like he has but I know how the wheels work..You make the wrong person your enemy and you are not going to like the result

....You could very well go before a judge that knows him etc..and he could end up with full custody of those kids..Plus they would be in a 2 parent home which the judge depending on who is his might see as the best place for them to be..

 

I doubt his Christmas holiday is ruined..My guess is he is going to enjoy his Christmas holiday and let his attorney handle this....As far as you..You made your bed and you are now lying in it (my grandmother use to say this all the time) and dealing with the consequences of your choices..

be the adult here...None of us are perfect but you should have stopped at the first child

As far as spending your life with him ..that is never going to happen..

His wife has a comfy life..A lot of the rich married couples the wives know that their husbands are having affairs on the side and just chose to look the other way..This seems to be the case but I cant say for sure..

I agree with touche show some class because right now the light you are showing yourself in is not good....

[mrose2008]

great you love your kids...How are you going to explain to your kids that you were the OW..that is going to be great..I would come up with a good lie..I hate to tell you this but you are not free of him..you are stuck with him in one way or another until those kids are adults..So you are so not free of him and don't fool yourself into thinking you are..Lies could have simply stopped by telling him that you were done..You did not have to tell her but that can't be undone..and did you not think in the back of your mind that she would be shocked lol...come on...

[skywriter]

So, are you guys saying that if he was an average "Joe Blow" having an A, w/the same scenario, that she still should've kept quiet? Is it the way she went abt it , calling the BS, that is wrong? What should she have done, just called an atty. and let him be the spokesperson or just lived quietly in the background and ended the A? Who's to say? Either way her boys will have questions.

[herenow]

If this man is pushed to the point were this is made public (BTW, you have already done that by naming him on this site), he could want custody of his kids. That is the ultimate of providing for your children. With him, they can have the best of everything and if his wife agrees, two parents to care for them.

 

If you are looking for revenge or to prove a point, you are no match for a rich man like him. You would be best off IMO, trying to be the best single parent you can be and leave him and his "fortune" out of it. Maybe a bit of child support, but not the drama you are insinuating you will start.

[LavendarGirl]

L&B, I am seriously questioning your story. You went from wanting to contact an attorney at 9am on Christmas Eve, to having contacted an attorney 20 minutes later who is going to in turn contact their attorney. And within those 20 minutes you're able to do that, chat on the boards, take care of a 2 year old, and deal with your final days of a complicated pregnancy?

 

I've had attorney's on retainer who couldn't get two pages photocopied without a 24 hour advance notice. And you, a woman on welfare, can get an attorney jumping on your case on a major holiday with a 20 minute telephone introduction and chat?