Office crush - Long story inside

[wiggum2476]

If this is too long or belongs in a different forum let me know.

 

There is this girl at work. She has three kids from a previous marriage. Well, after about 7 months, we started to talk a lot over email and instant messaging. We started to hang out with friends outside of work. The first time we really hung out was with a small number of friends and things just felt right. The host and his fiance even commented as to how we were pretty inseparable that night.

 

In the next few weeks she started talking about not being happy with her current relationship and was thinking of leaving but didn't think she could handle it on her own. At one point, I said if could find a place to live that had a basement, I would rent out the basement to help offset her costs and get me out of my current living situation which I am not happy with.

 

One day at work after her showing displeasure with her current relationship I asked her if she loved the guy and saw herself spending the rest of her life with him. Her eventual answer was that no, she doesn't see herself spending the rest of her life with him. With incredibly poor timing, I shortly there after said "Well I don't know if this is what you are looking for but you know how I feel about you and if you're willing to take a chance, so am I." This was met with the "we seem to click so far" and other very middle of the road responses.

 

One Friday after work, I asked her out for a drink or two. She agreed and we went to a local restaurant/bar and had, what I considered, to be a great night. We talked for hours about anything and everything and came to the realization that we had quite a bit in common. When we were leaving we just stood there side by side in each others arms talking. When we finally decided to break up the evening I gave her a hug and a kiss on her forehead.

 

Well we continued to talk regularly over IM and would take smoke breaks together. Slowly, she would start talking about buying a house with her current boyfriend. When I say "with", I really mean, he is buying the house because her credit will bring down the amount of the loan. So to me, this house pretty much symbolizes an engagement ring.

 

After a week or so of this talk I started to get a little down and then one day a small handful of us went to lunch and afterwards she asked if I was ok. Of course I said yes but early the next week I told her what was going on. That I had really fallen for her and was very interested in trying a relationship but knew that it just wouldn't happen.

 

From the time we started talking until a few weeks after I told her, all I could think about was her. I'd wake up and the first thing I would think about would be her. One day, I woke up and I didn't think of her. Later that day, her and another friend of mine went to lunch and to pick out a tie for me for our Christmas party. The first time the two of us were alone she says that two of her colleagues in her department basically know that I like her and that she likes me and that I would be great for her. I played this off saying it's no big deal and that I'm over it and we wouldn't be good together because we are so much alike and kind of twisted in the head. She then says that she does wish that I had kissed her all those times we hung out because "sometimes you can just tell when you kiss someone if it's right."

 

Later that day, she IM's me saying she has to tell me something then playfully says never mind. I get it out of her and she says, "I think I really do want a kiss." I once again played a little coy saying, "We'll see." We both agree that we'll see if it happens naturally when we are hanging out but that she said I would have to initiate it because she has a shy side.

 

Needless to say, from that point on, I started thinking about her again whenever I woke up in the morning. Up until this point, I was always the concerned friend and nice guy, which is who I really am. Well I started to up the ante a little bit and started to make sexual jokes and she would joke right back.

 

After a week or so of this, we were out to lunch and ducked outside for a smoke and she says that I will be getting a "show" that involves a joke garment that a few of us bought her for her birthday. She then also tells me to let her know when I have my place to myself for the show and to get hot massage lotion, whipped cream, and chocolate. Another time shortly after that, she was talking about being with another girl and said if I found another girl we could have a threesome.

 

A week after that a whole bunch of us went out for her and another person's birthday where we drank a lot. Then five of us, including her and myself, decided to go to a strip club. There we drank some more and her and I ended up making out off and on for hours and she even pulled her top down and I began to fondle and suck on her breasts. This went on until closing time and then continued again after we got back to may car where we continued in the parking lot. We said our goodbyes and we gave each other a deep, firm, and warm hug when we said goodbye.

 

The next day she calls me and I asked if we were still cool and she said yes. Well the day after that, she texts me saying she "has been dreaming about me off and on all night and the morning". To which I replied, "I've had a few thoughts run through my head as well" and left it at that. Well

on Monday things seemed to be cool. I felt a little weird and that there was a little tension so I tried to throw a feeler out there any maybe crack some ice by saying, "So you're dreaming about me huh." She danced around the question saying yeah and then told me about a dream (non-sexual) she had, not involving me, that she interpreted to represent how crazy that night at the bar(s) was.

 

On Tuesday, we didn't talk much but on our way out she takes a few steps towards me with her arms opened. Now I may have jumped the gun and took this as meaing an invitation for a hug, so I hugged her.

 

In any event, it is now Wednesday and I can't stop thinking about her and our situation. I am so confused and I don't know what to do. This is a very delicate situation because we work together. How should I handle this? Should I confront her and tell her my feelings? Should I ask what is

going on? Should I simply ignore it? Something else?