i'm afraid i'll never fully get over him

[alwayssme]

Me and him are both very attracted to each other..i know if i want to i could still see him and mess with him BUT he doesnt want to be with me so that would only make me feel used and worthless..i did that at first and now i just feel so low...because i love him and well he doesnt..

 

 

 

You know how they say NC can do two things

 

1. Out of sight out of mind

2.Absence makes the heart grow fonder

 

 

It seems like 2 is happening for me and 1 for him...

 

We were each other's first everything...I cannot even imagine ever loving or touching another guy...and when i think about him loving or having sex with someone else....wow it hurts, that's all i can say...

 

 

Is it true that you never get over your first love? I am having a very hard time even finding someone else to like because I just cant even look at another man like that......This sucks...I don't want to be one of those people who take 4ever to get over their ex...and I know I truly love this guy, they say true love never dies??? HELP!!!! lol

[TeaAbraham]

You'll get over him. That fear about not getting over him isn't helping you get over him! But thinking about that can just get you stuck in a rut.

 

Personally I was feeling amazing for a few weeks just working out and doing my work. I would just brush it off when thoughts of her came into my head. No problemo.

 

I think there is a lot of momentum involved with these things. Once you get in the dumps you just stay there and it makes you feel worse just being there and everything spirals on down the sh*t-hole.

 

You just gotta shift that momentum. And that isn't easy. For me just running and running, mainly fueled by my anger, made me feel so much better, and it got me out of the dumps for a while. Working/studying and going to my coffee shop helped too. I guess the main part was just feeling good about myself. Knowing I was d*mn smart and d*mn good looking was incredibly liberating. Makes you less worried about ever finding someone else who will love you like your ex did, because a lot of the bad feeling is thinking you won't ever feel as good as you did with your ex. It get's depressing after a while though after you're still alone and what not, but you just gotta keep chugga chuggin. One step at a time. Just keep moving in the direction you know is best. It will feel like you're not getting anywhere, but you are. Just know that you are getting somewhere even if it is difficult and all that. It's hard! But embrance the pain and it will become less so. Don't let the pain throw you back to despair. Just brush it off, get back up, whatever.

 

You just gotta change the momentum! For me, DOING worked like a charm. Just DO. Don't think. Don't think at all. Just go and DO. You just have to swing yourself in the right direction. I had some great momentum going in the right direction for a while, and I got thrown off course for a few reasons, but you always just gotta get right back up. f*ck em! you don't need this guy. Just throw yourself where you know you need to go and don't think about it. It'll be way way hard at first, but just keep going. Once I actually decided I didn't want to mess around anymore and I didn't want this to eat me alive any longer, I realized just giving the subject any of my time was extremely debilitating and set me back a lot. Getting off LS and not giving her any of my thought at all helped A LOT. And if he sneaks in there, just brush him off. Just say NO and move on. No thinking!!!

 

Remember it's just the absence that's making your heart grow fonder, it's not actually him. To hell with him. To hell!!

[FeedingOnFever]

Did you ever keep a journal when you were younger? Any old blogs or things that you wrote about old crushes? What is helping me immensely to see the "light at the end of the tunnel" is to dig up my old love poems and angst-filled journal entries about old crushes. I read through them and feel sort of embarassed at how bad my old poetry is (lol) but I also feel somewhat better. I had a crush on this one guy for 4 years (yikes!) and didn't do a thing about it. I was convinced that he was "the one" and I would never love anyone ever again if I didn't bag this guy.

 

I feel better knowing that I DID get over this guy and find love again, and the love I found was even stronger. It's hard since my ex was also my first boyfriend, first EVERYTHING, so it's a lot different than getting over a crush (no matter how intense the crush was.) But if you can recall really strong feelings you might have had for guys before your current ex, and think about them now (and how your feelings have changed)... it might help to put things into more of a perspective. Time is a healer, although it's not an instantaneous one. I think we'll be okay... it just is hard to remain patient, I know.

[honey2910]

alwayssme..... I am in same boat as you are. I had a 5 year relation with this girl and it ended suddenly. Its been five months I am yet to get over her and you know she found a friend with whom she spent lot of time.

 

I am like "friend" for her which I am going to end very soon.....

 

I will suggest you to go out and make friends. Get into some casual dating it will help you get over him. Remember the times when you were treated like a sh*t. You cant force somebody to love you this is what I have learned. We are waiting like a dog who is waiting for breadcrumbs from his /her master.........

 

Dont weave your world around your ex its really painful....I am feeling this pain for 5 months and now I have decided to end false hope...please believe me u will end up wasting lot of time and energy....

 

Instead go along with people who actually give u respect and treatment u deserve.. Life is a gift....If you have truly loved him and if he dont wants to be with you just let him free......there is no point caging him with your love when he dont deserve it..........

 

I hope it will help u....