Edward Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 This is a little awkward for me as I have never "posted" anything before. I am going to avoid the specifics of the situation because it would be a waste of time; my girlfriend is a genius and I am capable myself although it has taken me several months to figure out what I have, in terms of her "issues". My girlfriend and I both know that she cannot be "helped", her beliefs of existence and other issues leading to her episodes are too ingrained and too correct. What I need is encouragement to stay with her. I love her with all of my heart but I can only take so much. We need each other desperately....the highs are HIGH but the lows are becoming too low for me. When an episode hits (fits of anger, disgust, sadness) she refuses to talk to me. She can be cruel and disrespectful. When she is in or out of an episode, she is annoyed with how I take it so personal. How can I not? She makes it personal. I respect that she has issues (I believe severe depression, bipolar maybe) and that her coping resources are obviously lacking but someone please tell me how I can remain calm. Tell me why I should remain calm. I am losing hope and the world could lose a really good person if she is left alone. Logically, I know that I shouldn't get mad or impatient or take things personally. Emotionally I can't help it. Please believe me when I say that I am the only person that can help her (been to dozens and dozens of shrinks and counsellors since she was very young). I just need to know how to remain calm in the face of belittlement and disrespect. Hopefully I said all this right. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 Partners of people with disorders face this issue a lot. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers. People who are managing in such relationships make sure they take care of themselves; they have good support systems, they take breaks to do things they enjoy and that benefit them. The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself; be sure to spend time with friends and family and other supports. If you are determined to stay in this relationship, you might wish to consider getting counselling for yourself, as well. You might also wish to explore whether she has AD/HD. The symptoms of AD/HD can mimic bipolar and are often comorbid with depression. A lot of people spend years being misdiagnosed only to find that the treatment for AD/HD is what they needed all along. This is an excellent online test: http://www.amenclinic.com/ac/addtests/ Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted September 16, 2003 Share Posted September 16, 2003 Please believe me when I say that I am the only person that can help her (been to dozens and dozens of shrinks and counsellors since she was very young). Experts cannot help her, but you can? Interesting. Is she is getting off her meds occasionally? I'm assuming here that she takes medication for her problem. And if so, is that when she becomes dysfunctional? Link to post Share on other sites
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