Trust

[JC IN WNY]

This weekend I and a male friend of mine went out of town to go to a football game. We stayed overnight in the city and went to the game the next day.

 

I got home and my girlfriend of 4 years tells me that she did something bad that weekend.

 

She went to a halloween party and got extremely drunk and ended up in a hot tub with her friend and 2 guys. Clothed of course. There was no "cheating" involved which I have got from one of her friends who I believe to be honest. She didnt get home that morning until 7:30am.

 

The thing is though that she told me the situation and knew that I would be upset. I'm really not sure what to do.

 

Am I an idiot for being very mad at her, so mad, in fact that Im contemplating ending our relationship? Am I overreacting?

 

JC IN WNY

[Dani]

Hello JC!

 

I can understand why you would be upset. But in repsonse to your question: are you over reacting, well....MAYBE yes , just a tad!

 

When we are mad or angry thats all we feel at that moment. MAD and ANGRY. Its very easy to see things as one sided and very black and white. Thats why one should never do something when there angry, because they can come to regret it later! This is also true when we are hurt.

 

Your girlfriend never cheated on you right!?

 

She made a mistake. Something that we ALL do at one time or another in our lives. We screw up. We make bad choices. Unfortunately this happens. Since alcohol was a factor it can make things worse. Tho yes, you should not look at the fact she was drunk as an excuse , but you should look at it as a cause. When your drunk you see things very differantly. Nothing has a consequence to it, and its ALLLLL good. Your thinking and judgement is impared. It takes you outta the moment.

 

Your NOT an idiot for being mad and upset wither. That is understandble and a very natural response to something or one, when we feel we have been treated badly. But you have been with this GIRL for 4 years! That is a long time. Think about somethings....has she ever done this before? Has she done things to make you feel mistrust towards her before? Does she feel remorse for her actions? Remember to , that she told you what she had done. Tho I know it dosen't make things better, remember that she was willing to be open and honest with you about her mistake, and that is very hard and takes guts!

 

Take time to cool down before you react. You don't want to throw away something that you love. Or "someone" for that matter. Remember everyone makes mistakes. Were human. We live to error. Forgiving can sometimes be hard, but if she loves you, and you love her, frogiving someone is almost as important as trust is, in a relationship!

 

Good luck to you!

 

Dani G

[Sherri]

Hello there. Yes you are a boob. You have been dating this girl for 4 years and you say that you trust her. So if she went to a party and nothing happened, than why are you so upset? If she is being honest with you, take her word for it and leave it alone. If it bothers you that much than tell her. But do so in an understanding manner. Good luck. SAP

[gypsy&Jum]

 

Hello JC!

I can understand why you would

be upset. But in repsonse to your

question: are you over reacting,

well....MAYBE yes , just a tad!

When we are mad or angry thats

all we feel at that moment. MAD

and ANGRY. Its very easy to see

things as one sided and very black

and white. Thats why one should

never do something when there angry,

because they can come to regret

it later! This is also true when

we are hurt.

Your girlfriend never cheated

on you right!?

She made a mistake. Something

that we ALL do at one time or another

in our lives. We screw up. We make

bad choices. Unfortunately this

happens. Since alcohol was a factor

it can make things worse. Tho yes,

you should not look at the fact

she was drunk as an excuse , but

you should look at it as a cause.

When your drunk you see things

very differantly. Nothing has a

consequence to it, and its ALLLLL

good. Your thinking and judgement

is impared. It takes you outta

the moment.

Your NOT an idiot for being

mad and upset wither. That is understandble

and a very natural response to

something or one, when we feel

we have been treated badly. But

you have been with this GIRL for

4 years! That is a long time. Think

about somethings....has she ever

done this before? Has she done

things to make you feel mistrust

towards her before? Does she feel

remorse for her actions? Remember

to , that she told you what she

had done. Tho I know it dosen't

make things better, remember that

she was willing to be open and

honest with you about her mistake,

and that is very hard and takes

guts!

Take time to cool down before

you react. You don't want to throw

away something that you love. Or

"someone" for that matter.

Remember everyone makes mistakes.

Were human. We live to error.

Forgiving can sometimes be hard,

but if she loves you, and you love

her, frogiving someone is almost

as important as trust is, in a

relationship!

Good luck to you!

Dani G

 

Hi! I know what it feels like coz it happens to me all the time! I guess you could say I just don't have much luck with relationships! So speaking from my experiences, I suggest that you forgive her because everybody makes mistakes. Your probably thinking tht I'm really bias and averything but I'm just telling you my opinion. Try and explain to her that if it happens again your not going to be as forgiving because it hurts heaps. Explain that alcohol may be her excuse this time but next time if it happens again your not going to forgive her as easy. If you love somethting let it go. If it comes back it's yours if it doesn't it never really was in the first place! Well you could always try the same trick on her and see how she likes it. well thats really all the advice that we have for you so we'll catchya later and I hope that everything gets sorted out. good luck!!