Older woman, younger man

[Mrs.Robinson?]

I need some help here...I'm 9 years older than my boyfriend. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my whole life, and he feels the same way about me. Is there anything wrong with this age difference? I know how society views this sort of thing, that the man has to be older than the woman, taller than the woman, stronger than the woman...I've always been attracted to younger men, but I've never actually done anything about it, until I met him. He has asked me to move in with him, and I want to be with him more than anything in the world, but I keep wondering if I'm taking away his life somehow, by being so much older than him. I'd just like to hear from some people that have had some experience with this.

[Tod]

Whether a 9 year age difference is wrong depends on what your age is. If you are only 19, I would have to say you should not be involved with someone 9 years younger. If however, you are 29 or older, this may not be a problem. Either way, I would not recommend you move in with any guy until you are ready to marry him.

I need some help here...I'm 9 years older than my boyfriend. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my whole life, and he feels the same way about me. Is there anything wrong with this age difference? I know how society views this sort of thing, that the man has to be older than the woman, taller than the woman, stronger than the woman...I've always been attracted to younger men, but I've never actually done anything about it, until I met him. He has asked me to move in with him, and I want to be with him more than anything in the world, but I keep wondering if I'm taking away his life somehow, by being so much older than him. I'd just like to hear from some people that have had some experience with this.

[Verlan]

Men shouldn't be the only ones that can have younger companions. However, as Tod pointed out, you went out of your way not to give either your age or your boyfriend's. So it really does boil down to maturity. Since men up to age 25 or so are usually well behind women in emotional maturity, in my opinion, unless you are 33 or older or have a case of arrested development, you probably won't be satisfied with a younger guy for long.

 

Also, if the guy is younger than 18, you could get some jail time if the relationship gets sexual.

 

Other than that, it sounds like you're a happy camper. Don't worry about what other people think, unless your parents are going to cut you out of a multi-million dollar inheritance over it and you need the money.

[Marcella]

I agree with the other respondents in the sense that your particular age does matter. However, if you are both of legal age, and you love each other deeply (which it certainly sounds as if is the case), don't worry about the age difference. In U.S. society, it is the "norm" for the man to be older than the woman, but biologically, this is not the best scenario for growing old together. The average life span of a woman is still several years longer than for men (although it is evening out some), so most of us women who end up with older men may be widowed FOR A LONG TIME! I know you're likely ways away from that, but just food for thought.

 

Anyway, again, as long as you both are adults, your age shouldn't matter as long as it doesn't matter to the both of you. Best of luck to you.

I need some help here...I'm 9 years older than my boyfriend. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone in my whole life, and he feels the same way about me. Is there anything wrong with this age difference? I know how society views this sort of thing, that the man has to be older than the woman, taller than the woman, stronger than the woman...I've always been attracted to younger men, but I've never actually done anything about it, until I met him. He has asked me to move in with him, and I want to be with him more than anything in the world, but I keep wondering if I'm taking away his life somehow, by being so much older than him. I'd just like to hear from some people that have had some experience with this.

[Mrs.Robinson]

Its me again, I just wanted to say that YES we are definetly both of legal age. I didnt mean to avoid that, I guess in my mind, it wasnt important! I guess I just answered my own question...thankyou for your responses. I am 29 years old. I just thought I'd put that in there.