mr.dream merchant Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Maybe if she wasn't a garbage GF he would have been more enthusiastic about their relationship. You see how ridiculous that looks on paper? Don't try to right a wrong with emotional inadequacies being the main cause. Cheating isn't just no matter what the circumstances are. Yeah she got dicked down by a guy who wasn't her BF. It may not be a huge deal but it isn't something to look over and forgive. She's made herself into a liability. She isn't a good investment. Not for the OP's BF or for any other guy with a spine. The only way anything can be made right from this point now is for her to let him be. Case closed. Link to post Share on other sites
lamaman3 Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 How dare he try to get away without feeding your tremendous ego and vanity for three years, only to pony up a marriage proposal, in an effort to make up for your dissastisfaction and suffering? Yea - wanting someone to say that they love you IS "feeding someones tremendous vanity and ego" but wanting a pledge to only be sexual with you ISNT. (sarcasm) And what women wouldnt be thrilled to have a marriage proposal (minus the actual ceremony of course) based on "making up for suffering" instead of you know, actually WANTING to be committed to her. I'm leaving now, to wash away the toxic residue that clings to me after reading your post. Funny - thats how I felt when I read your other thread when you started talking dirty to that married woman who was posting for advice on LS. Why did you ask her if she lived near NJ again?? Because you hate cheating right??? Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Maybe if she wasn't a garbage GF he would have been more enthusiastic about their relationship. You see how ridiculous that looks on paper? Don't try to right a wrong with emotional inadequacies being the main cause. Cheating isn't just no matter what the circumstances are. Yeah she got dicked down by a guy who wasn't her BF. It may not be a huge deal but it isn't something to look over and forgive. She's made herself into a liability. She isn't a good investment. Not for the OP's BF or for any other guy with a spine. The only way anything can be made right from this point now is for her to let him be. Case closed. And I say this because they have both wronged each other, the OP and her BF. Link to post Share on other sites
lamaman3 Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Maybe if she wasn't a garbage GF he would have been more enthusiastic about their relationship. How could she be a garbage girlfriend when he didnt want her as a girlfriend? When someone dosent want you to be their girlfriend (because they want to keep their options open) why should you act like their girlfriend? Youre not making sense. And if she was such a garbage "non-girlfriend" then why did he propose to her? Because hes desperate and was scared she was gonna move on and not always be his backup? In that case its no wonder she sabotaged the wedding. What woman would want to be married to a man like that? Yeah she got dicked down by a guy who wasn't her BF. It may not be a huge deal but it isn't something to look over and forgive. Says who? She might have broken an agreement between them - but why is it anyones business but his? Who are you to say whether he should forgive her or not or try to work it out? If your girlfriend cheats on you you can dump her and not forgive her - otherwise let this man do what makes him feel best - thats the whole point of relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Maybe he was waiting for her to show something that made her GF title worthy. Regardless of what you and I may see from her posts and assume, only they know what they had and I'm guessing it was something a tiny bit special to her if she feels she has cheated. If she's agreeing to being unfaithful then damnit she's unfaithful. She's here now asking for help and people are telling her what to do. This guy she's with is broken. Its in both of their best interest to split. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I think youre projecting some demons of your past onto this guy. What you are saying makes absolutely ZERO sense. Yes - he dated this woman casually for three and a half freaking years without committing to her because he somehow "suspected" she was a cheater:rolleyes:. How does that work exactly??? Consulting his magic 8 ball every week??? You might be a "sensitive" guy who "keeps his heart in check" because hes "afraid of getting hurt" - but don't project that onto the OP's boyfriend because obviously his behavior dosent reflect that. If you are a sensitive loving guy you dont casually date/sleep with a woman who is in love with you over a three and a half year period, never calling her your girlfriend, and then only wanting to commit to her when she starts to move on with her life but at the same time insisting you dont even want a freaking wedding ceremony. Her reading of the situation was exactly right - This guy took her for granted for 3.5 years because he thought shed always be in love with him and he wanted to sleep with other girls or keep his options open in case something better came along and figure shed always be there as his backup. When she started moving on with her life he was afraid of losing her so he "proposed" but still wasnt even into her enough or excited enough about the idea to even want a marriage ceremony. Of course she said yes because shes expected to and it would seem thats what she had wanted all along but she knew deep down that he wasnt as into her or really in love with her - otherwise any healthy person would have said it before 3.5 years of "dating" went by and not have to be prompted when you realize its not always going to be there for you and the other person is going to start looking for a guy who was going to be a good boyfriend. The cheating was just the manifestation of her own reservations. With the way some of these posters are talking youd think the OP committed genocide - talking about years and years of hurt and pain and the boyfriend spending years trying to "sniff out" whether this woman could be capable of such tremendous evil . Some guy stuck his schlong in her for a few moments - so the boyfriend's ego gets bruised a bit and he realizes something is wrong in the relationship and he breaks up with her and moves on. No kids, not married, dont live together, werent even boyfriend/girlfriend until recently. Big deal. Maybe hell actually learn to make an effort in improving himself and pursuing women instead of relying on this woman as his "backup." Aside from all of the points, she didn't have to be with him. It was her choice to stay in the picture for all those years, there were no permanent chains attached to her, forcing her to stay. It was her choice and her choice alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I think youre projecting some demons of your past onto this guy. What you are saying makes absolutely ZERO sense. It makes perfect sense:) So you saying you never dated anyone and was giving a chance to someone that you thought may have something about them that you just can't put your finger on? You might be a "sensitive" guy who "keeps his heart in check" because hes "afraid of getting hurt" - but don't project that onto the OP's boyfriend because obviously his behavior dosent reflect that. It doesn't? She herself said he was guarded because of what happened to him in the past. And knowing that he had bad luck in the past, what the hell was she thinking that he finally lets the guard down, takes the plunge, and she shoves it right up his arse by cheating on him. Whatever the reasons, it doesn't really matter does it? She needs to simply leave him alone. Her reading of the situation was exactly right - This guy took her for granted for 3.5 years because he thought shed always be in love with him and he wanted to sleep with other girls ???? where in the hell did she say he wanted other girls? With the way some of these posters are talking youd think the OP committed genocide - talking about years and years of hurt and pain and the boyfriend spending years trying to "sniff out" whether this woman could be capable of such tremendous evil . Well, if that is the case and he couldn't put his finger on something about her, she sure proved it was there. Guess he finally "sniffed it out". It just took a proposal to do it:rolleyes: Some guy stuck his schlong in her for a few moments - so the boyfriend's ego gets bruised a bit and he realizes something is wrong in the relationship and he breaks up with her and moves on. Yup, move on. Would be a smart move on his part. No kids, not married, dont live together, werent even boyfriend/girlfriend until recently. Big deal. She cheated AFTER she accepted his proposal. Thats the big deal. But its all a moot point really. Whether this guy has the cahones to move on or not, she needs to leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Maybe if she wasn't a garbage GF he would have been more enthusiastic about their relationship. You see how ridiculous that looks on paper? Don't try to right a wrong with emotional inadequacies being the main cause. EXACTLY! What she should have done, if what everyone here is saying is true and this guy is some sort of ahole for keeping his emotions guarded, was to tell him to stick his proposal up his arse. Now after accepting a proposal and then cheating, she'd not be the kind of woman any good man would want to date if she did it out of vindictiveness. And if it wasn't vindictiveness, then why the hell did she accept the proposal? Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Aside from all of the points, she didn't have to be with him. It was her choice to stay in the picture for all those years, there were no permanent chains attached to her, forcing her to stay. right. And why wait all this time, accept a proposal, and NOW cheat on him? Methinks she has cheated before and somehow he knew something was up. She is pretending to be all so innocent after 3 years and only cheating AFTER he proposed. I think there was something not right during those 3 years and she is putting it all on him. Link to post Share on other sites
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