dewdrop8 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Okay, ill try to keep it as simple and understandable as possible. I met a beautiful girl. We talked online for a while and very quickly she invited me over. After a few hours at her place, she kissed me. She said she liked me... and things progressed in that manner pretty quickly for a bit. After about 3 weeks, we really have had some pretty deep conversations, hung out a bunch, we've become really really good friends and gotten.. 'into it' a few times. Keep in mind that we are NOT dating though... it just seemed like we were heading in that direction... But last week well.. very long story much shorter... she had another guy over to hang out, and they ended up kissing... she told me (her words) "im.. just not as interested in you as i thought i was" "but i still like you" ... that was last week.. but im trying really hard not to let it get to me. : : : : : : : : : : : :THATS NOT WHY THIS IS COMPLICATED : : : : as much as that hurt me and still hurts... 1) were still friends... actually.. were really good friends... its been a week and we still talk like before, we still get into deep conversations.. we've become each others best friends... literally. she's called me her best friend numerous times over the past day, and said im the closest thing shes had to a best friend in a long time.... and to be honest, shes become mine as well. I could never talk to anyone or any of my past ex's before like I can with her. 2) she keeps telling me its not my fault, that its hers... she doesnt know what she wants or what shes really doing. 3) she keeps saying stuff like "i still like you" heres some logs from our conversation. Her: even if the 'friend' found out today she may not like you as she was kissing someone else? Her: well i do like you.. just not as much as i thought. Me: well... that kind of really hurts.... Her: I know... I'm sorry... [then she goes] Her: ...yea.... if it makes you feel better.. i'm pretty sure the guy doesn't care at all about me.. [later down the road;] Her: ....we're.. gonna keep talking right? well so obviously, if you've been paying attention... we kept talking, i still like her even if shes not into me romanticly anymore. but.. its really hard. Ive developed really strong feelings for her, and i try not to let her know that well shes become a great best friend... i still want more. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should attempt to persue it anyways, and see if she figures out what she eventually wants and hope its me.... Or should I give up on her romantically and settle for best friend?... She is a great friend, I don't want to screw it up... but I feel completely devistated here that she led me on into thinking that she liked me just as much as I liked her... and then a kiss with another friend she had over completely changes it. She knows she hurt me and shes even cried over it too.... but she doesn't know that I'm not just hurt.. im crushed .... and she's all I can think about every second since. Maybe I'm just being a really pathetic loser here... ... but I can't change how I feel. Worse; Shes the only person I can go to advice to on, and shes the one person I cant ask this time. . . . . Help Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Give up and settle. let her do the deciding. You take a back seat and carry on as normal. This hasn't actually changed anything, you see. It's all as it was. The only changes are in your mind. Why do guys take 'no' to mean 'maybe'? Link to post Share on other sites
lazlow99 Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Forget it, what's the point in trying to get into a relationship with a girl who says she isn't that into you, and invites other guys over? Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 1) were still friends... actually.. were really good friends... its been a week and we still talk like before, we still get into deep conversations.. we've become each others best friends... literally. she's called me her best friend numerous times over the past day, and said im the closest thing shes had to a best friend in a long time.... and to be honest, shes become mine as well. I could never talk to anyone or any of my past ex's before like I can with her. 2) she keeps telling me its not my fault, that its hers... she doesnt know what she wants or what shes really doing. 3) she keeps saying stuff like "i still like you" Let her go, slowly. Gradually communicate with her less and less. As a matter of fact, let her persue the friendship with you. Spend less time with her. Focus your efforts on a beautiful girl who does know what she wants unless you have some intention of letting this girl hang on as some kind of detached relationship that's hard to define lol. Link to post Share on other sites
WendE Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 This may sound a little zen-like, but if you are able to: Drop any expectations of anything romantic happening with her (and pursue other people if it helps you do that) while at the same time keeping contact with her. She might be one of those people who doesn't like pressure of expectations takes a long time to work their way into a romantic relationships. If she sees you willing to be friends and, eventually, she might become romantically interested. (Just don't expect her to). Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 You need to take a back seat and let her do her, so to speak. It sounds like she just likes you as a friend and that's it. Once you are in that best friend category, its hard to get to a romantic stage with that person. Link to post Share on other sites
atwitsend Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 For dewdrop, You need to think of something. Will you be able to watch her go from relationship to relationship and then at some point watch her marry someone else. Or you get in a relationship. It should take the girl a few times seeing you together to know how you feel about her. And not take the relationship further. She cried because she new this hurt you. Why? Because she knew how you felt about her and kissed this guy in front of you. Knowing what that was going to do to you. You do not want to be a third wheel, father confessor. the last thing you need is to listen to her about her relationships with other guys. Take the pain now and end the friendship. The pain will be worse later. Oh and Geisha, why guys hang around hoping for the girl to change. Is just as much about what the girl is doing as the guy sometimes Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Okay, ill try to keep it as simple and understandable as possible. I met a beautiful girl. We talked online for a while and very quickly she invited me over. After a few hours at her place, she kissed me. She said she liked me... and things progressed in that manner pretty quickly for a bit. After about 3 weeks, we really have had some pretty deep conversations, hung out a bunch, we've become really really good friends and gotten.. 'into it' a few times. Keep in mind that we are NOT dating though... it just seemed like we were heading in that direction... But last week well.. very long story much shorter... she had another guy over to hang out, and they ended up kissing... she told me (her words) "im.. just not as interested in you as i thought i was" "but i still like you" ... that was last week.. but im trying really hard not to let it get to me. : : : : : : : : : : : :THATS NOT WHY THIS IS COMPLICATED : : : : as much as that hurt me and still hurts... 1) were still friends... actually.. were really good friends... its been a week and we still talk like before, we still get into deep conversations.. we've become each others best friends... literally. she's called me her best friend numerous times over the past day, and said im the closest thing shes had to a best friend in a long time.... and to be honest, shes become mine as well. I could never talk to anyone or any of my past ex's before like I can with her. 2) she keeps telling me its not my fault, that its hers... she doesnt know what she wants or what shes really doing. 3) she keeps saying stuff like "i still like you" heres some logs from our conversation. Her: even if the 'friend' found out today she may not like you as she was kissing someone else? Her: well i do like you.. just not as much as i thought. Me: well... that kind of really hurts.... Her: I know... I'm sorry... [then she goes] Her: ...yea.... if it makes you feel better.. i'm pretty sure the guy doesn't care at all about me.. [later down the road;] Her: ....we're.. gonna keep talking right? well so obviously, if you've been paying attention... we kept talking, i still like her even if shes not into me romanticly anymore. but.. its really hard. Ive developed really strong feelings for her, and i try not to let her know that well shes become a great best friend... i still want more. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should attempt to persue it anyways, and see if she figures out what she eventually wants and hope its me.... Or should I give up on her romantically and settle for best friend?... She is a great friend, I don't want to screw it up... but I feel completely devistated here that she led me on into thinking that she liked me just as much as I liked her... and then a kiss with another friend she had over completely changes it. She knows she hurt me and shes even cried over it too.... but she doesn't know that I'm not just hurt.. im crushed .... and she's all I can think about every second since. Maybe I'm just being a really pathetic loser here... ... but I can't change how I feel. Worse; Shes the only person I can go to advice to on, and shes the one person I cant ask this time. . . . . Help How old are the two of you? Link to post Share on other sites
lonelygirl21 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 let her go...there is so many other people out there.... Link to post Share on other sites
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