Am I overreacting?

[disgusted and hurt]

Last night, my husband of 5 years went out with one of his buddies. The phone rang at 2:00am, I answered to find that his cell phone had accidentally called me (it does that some times). Iwas ready to hang up, when I heard a girls voice in the background saying something like "oh well, you're married thats too bad, I guess I better go" A few seconds later, I hear my husband yelling to his friend, "Why the hell did you have to tell her that I was married, I had this hot chick here, and you had to go and ruin it for me" etc, etc...This conversation went on for about 15 minutes, until I finally hung up and called him, and asked him what the hell was going on. When he got home, we were up until 6:00am talking and yelling. He kept telling me that nothing was going to happen, that he just liked the attention that he was getting.

 

Now, keep in mind two things: I really do believe that he has never cheated on me before, and he said to me that why would he have done something with this girl, when he's never done anything before...2nd thing is, the friend he was with, he has been friends with since they were little kids, and there has always been a big competition thing going on between them. My husband always has craved attention, in EVERYTHING, and he insisted that he was pissed at his friend because the friend did it to spite him, and wanted the attention for himself.

 

Anyway, not that I am sticking up for him in any way, because I am so hurt and sick over this you wouldn't believe.

 

Now, point number 2 is that I myself am a big flirt when I go out with the girls, and I am sure he would not approve of my behavior some of the time too...I have never really "cheated" on him, although I did make out with a guy once, a few months back....However, I am pregnant with my third child right now, and I know it sounds like I am being a total hypocrite about this, and I probably am, part of me wants to just forget about the whole thing, but part of me is so mad and angry that he had to do this to me now, of all times.

 

Oh my god, sorry this is so long, and if there is any brave soul out there who is still with me at this point, please respond and give me some insight. Am I blowing this out of proportion, should I just forget about it?

 

I already told him that it is going to be a cold day in hell when he goes out to a bar or club again without me, and he agreed to that...(for now, anyway)

 

Thanks!

[Jesaco]

Last night, my husband of 5 years went out with one of his buddies. The phone rang at 2:00am, I answered to find that his cell phone had accidentally called me (it does that some times). Iwas ready to hang up, when I heard a girls voice in the background saying something like "oh well, you're married thats too bad, I guess I better go" A few seconds later, I hear my husband yelling to his friend, "Why the hell did you have to tell her that I was married, I had this hot chick here, and you had to go and ruin it for me" etc, etc...This conversation went on for about 15 minutes, until I finally hung up and called him, and asked him what the hell was going on. When he got home, we were up until 6:00am talking and yelling. He kept telling me that nothing was going to happen, that he just liked the attention that he was getting. Now, keep in mind two things: I really do believe that he has never cheated on me before, and he said to me that why would he have done something with this girl, when he's never done anything before...2nd thing is, the friend he was with, he has been friends with since they were little kids, and there has always been a big competition thing going on between them. My husband always has craved attention, in EVERYTHING, and he insisted that he was pissed at his friend because the friend did it to spite him, and wanted the attention for himself. Anyway, not that I am sticking up for him in any way, because I am so hurt and sick over this you wouldn't believe. Now, point number 2 is that I myself am a big flirt when I go out with the girls, and I am sure he would not approve of my behavior some of the time too...I have never really "cheated" on him, although I did make out with a guy once, a few months back....However, I am pregnant with my third child right now, and I know it sounds like I am being a total hypocrite about this, and I probably am, part of me wants to just forget about the whole thing, but part of me is so mad and angry that he had to do this to me now, of all times. Oh my god, sorry this is so long, and if there is any brave soul out there who is still with me at this point, please respond and give me some insight. Am I blowing this out of proportion, should I just forget about it? I already told him that it is going to be a cold day in hell when he goes out to a bar or club again without me, and he agreed to that...(for now, anyway) Thanks!

Hi!

 

Please, you need to calm down. What you need to do is try very hard to talk with each other about feelings instead of lashing out at each other, trying to put "blame" on one another. It's natural to enjoy being flirted with, and also to flirt with others. All of us are human beings and like attention. It's what makes us feel alive. But the two of you are in love, and sharing your lives together, and you need to really think about that. You know, you'll never really know if your husband had plans to take things farther with this woman unless you talk to him about it. And he probably didn't. He probably was telling you the truth when he said that he wanted the attention. Tell him that it made you nervous and you felt that your relationship was being threatened. And you know for yourself how enjoyable flirting is. So have a discussion about "flirting" with your husband. Also, keep in mind that when you're pregnant, your emotions are stronger. Your hormones are different. So you'll have to concentrate on that too.

 

Best of luck,

 

Jesaco