My girl was leaving for college and I pushed her away because I was scared.

[MyLossForever]

I am only 20 years old. I was this this girl for three years of my life. They were the best years of my life. My life was cold and dark until she came into my into it. I realize all this now, but for some reason couldn't see it when I was with her.

 

This year is her first year at college. She goes to school 2 1/2 hours away. I wanted this summer to be everything for her, but it wans't. Our schedules clashed. We never saw each other. Things changed. The time came for her to leave for college and I was so scared. I pushed her away and said that I wans't sure if it was gonna work. I wanted her to show me something. I thought that if I pushed her away she would show me how much I meant to her. I never told her that and think she took it as I didn't want to be with her. I told her that I wanted things to be like they were.

 

We hardly ever talk and the only time we talk is on the Internet. I get the feeling that she doesn't want anything to do with me. I try to talk to her but she never has time. I asked her when she was coming home again and she said she was coming home with a guy named Mike she had met who lives next to us.

 

I was crushed. I feel that I drove her into the arms of another guy. It kills me because now I realize that I love her more than life itself. I poured my hear out to her the other day and all she could say was that she was sorry and didn't know what to say. I need her guys. Please help me. I sent her one of my t-shirts because she used to like to sleep in them. I don't know if this was a good idea. I want her in my life. I need her in my life. She is, was, and always will be my everything. How can I do it?

[Tony T]

You can't push someone away like that and expect your reverse psychology to work everytime. It backfired on you. Accept the consequences of your actions and move on. Perhaps later on this lady will warm up to you. But you hurt her and she's not likely to forget that very soon. Meanwhile, try to get on with your life and date people who aren't going to be moving out of town in the future. Long distance relationships aren't as great as people think sometimes.

 

Bottom line: Get over this girl and go find someone else you can be fond of. This lady has moved on herself...at least for now and she's not likely to give you another crack at hurting her.

[MyLossForever]

I hear what you are saying. I am the one who screwed up. I'm the one who made a bad choice. Noone understands me and what i'm going through it feels like. She haunts my dreams. My every waking moment is cinsude by her face. I can't be without her. I need believe that there is still something there for me with her. I can't live without her.

[moimeme]

I thought that if I pushed her away she would show me how much I meant to her

 

A word to the wise: do not play games in relationships.

 

I can't live without her

 

YES YOU CAN. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. You must let this go and move on for her sake and for yours. Things like this happen to people every day. Many people on this board have had it happen. Yes, it's painful, but you have to stop dwelling on it. If you can't do it by yourself, go see a counsellor.

[J-LOW]

Hi! I have been through the same situation this past fall; however, I played the role of the girl. It is extremely difficult leaving for college and leaving behind your best friend and lover. The most important person in your life suddenly becomes distant. The worst reaction of feeling rejected from your lover hurts even worse. I found myself away from home without the support I needed from my boy friend. As a result, I moved on as well. It is hard when your needs are not met by the person you loved the most in life. For that reason, the relationship falls apart.

 

I once had hope my boy friend and I would get back together; however, I now find that impossible. I see myself as an independent person seeking my largest dreams in life. There is no holding back, and there is no room for grief over matters that exist without faith.

 

However, our fates are destined and if is meant to be it will be. For the time being, I suggest evaluting the situation (your feeling, your needs, and the needs of your girl friend). Then, talk to your ex girl friend. You must make sacrifices to please the needs of both. Nevertheless, you both must wish to continue your relationship.

 

Be proud of her for being strong. Be thankful for what joy she brought to your life. Honor your relationship once shared, and most importantly be thankful for having her as a part of your life.

[CanadianBornCutie]

My current ex, though we still see each other regularly and such, well i was just finishing college getting my career path and the time came when i asked him what was his there is 6 years diff. between us i'm 19 and he's 25, he doesnt' know and he got scared, and I know he's pushing me away, and i agree it's not fair if he's playing the game that if he pushes me away i'll show him how i really feel, because all i am doing is giving him his space and what he wants. It's not your fault you were scared, but right now give her space and time, i'm sure she was very confused and hurt by what happened, i know i am, but i'm not showing him any extra emotion or affection anymore because he pushed me away and i think that's what he wants to have space in his life.

 

Best of luck to you! "On and on it seems to go but you don't know what you've got till it's gone"

 

I also realized that i can't make someone not do something because i'm afraid of losing them, if you try to prevent them from doing something you'll end up having them resent you in the future.

[KunkFunk]

Everything happens for a reason, if yall were destined to be together she'll come back to you. Let her go and if she comes back to you its true love...