Where do I go from here?

[wing81]

This is kind of a long story but I appreciate any input on my situation. I have been hanging out with this girl who broke up with her boyfriend of ten years about a year ago. We started out as friends and over the past six months it has developed beyond that. We have bascially been acting as a couple when we are alone. We have gone on vacations together and treated each other to nights out and seem to average about one night a week if not more often of sexual contact. From what I have gotten from her is that her friends seem to be encouraging her to keep things going. Even some have her family have told me "Thanks for making her happy".

 

Over the past two weeks though she has been withdrawing from me. I think a majority of that had to do with her heading back home and spending time with her ex. I know they went out of town together with some of his friends from work. She has seemed distant and hasn't been contacting me nearly as much while back home. I can understand that she has been busy at home taking care of various chores.

 

I fear that she has gotten back with her ex and I have lost a close "friend". We have shared a lot of memories and she seem to enjoy our time together. Both of us have expressed how surprised how compatible we are when it comes to enjoying a wide range of activities from outdoor to cultural activities. I think I missed a chance to plead my case the night before she left. She asked if I wanted to talk and I couldn't think of anything to say. Just wish I could have seen what she was trying to say then. If they get back together I am afraid she won't be allowed to spend time with me anymore and I will be back to being lonely again. On top of that having lost my job in November due to layoffs by self esteem is pretty much shot.

 

I'm not sure what to do now. I don't want to lose her as a friend but I am interested in seeing how things would have gone with us. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should proceed from here? I would also appreciate any insight on how she might be feeling. Thanks for reading.