is he worth keeping?

[gocubsgo]

i'll try to make this short and uncomplicated. wish me luck.

my bf and i started dating over a year ago. we both had recent broken engagements.

i kept it casual for quite some time because i wasn't ready for another serious relationship.

i was over my ex but it was quite clear he wasn't.

while my past relationship was unhealthy, his was absolutely diseased!

she left her husband for him and continued to cheat with him the entire time they were together.

creating a rivalry btwn them (her ex and himself) and making him compete for her affection.

all the while, asking him for financial support and playing with his emotions.

why he asked her to marry him is beyond me. (probably to prove to her ex that "he won")

it was always about the competition.

YET! after all that, i could tell he still wanted to be with her.

before i was emotionally invested i could have cared less.

but after we decided to be exclusive, the sneakiness and lies began.

he would be VERY secretive with his cell. if we were out together, he made SEVERAL trips to the

men's room. (not to check his hair!!) kept his phone on vibrate, or off altogether.

well after several months of asking him what was going on and getting "nothing, she's a psyco",

i caught him.

he was stupid enough to leave his cell bill in the open. it was a few months worth.

at least 10 calls a day and numerous texts to her #!!! not FROM her.

when i confronted him he obviously had to confess! he said he had to handle things "his way" and that it

was all so hard on him because he truly thought she was "the one".

well, many things were said and i told him it ends here.

he is not allowed to have any contact with her (she still wanted to keep him around for $$$ and manipulation)

this was several (at least 6) months ago and nothing suspicious has really happened since then.

but now i find myself "creating" situations when i see something even slightly weird.

i know he ruined my trust for him and he admits that. he has been trying but i haven't. (out of fear)

my question is this:

should i even bother with him or should i just fight the urge to question his every move?

and if i should try to trust him, how the heck do i do it?

he says he wants nothing to do with her and that he never talks to her, but he has said that before.

how do i believe him now?

he's talking about marriage and it scares me!

any advice would be greatly appreciated!

sorry this is so long, but i could've written a novel!!!

[jalexy]

quite simply i dont understand why you would even date a guy that participated in all of this. he was involved in this "disease" and he is a cell in this disease. drop him and move on to someone who isnt strange in the head.

[gocubsgo]

i understand what you are saying.

but i can't pass judgement on him for being in a bad relationship.

we've all been there.

i am only concerned with how he treated me in the past and how

i can possibly move on from it.

or if it's even possible.

dumping someone you really care about is easier said than done.

[jalexy]

i know, but hes cheated...with a married woman!

so i guess im not as forgiving as you...

[gocubsgo]

he has told me that he never initiated a thing until she was divorced from her husband.

she wanted to leave her husband anyway and was looking for any reason possible.

she had a "grass in greener" episode.

but obviously she wasn't ready to give up her ex.

she wanted to keep the money coming in from both sides.

she's nothing more than a common prostitute.

not that i think he was too bright for falling for it but "love" does strange things to

people. (i put love in quotes because it's so obvious that's not what it was).

i don't know if he's telling me the truth or not but i could give him the benefit of the doubt

on that one.

or maybe he's just telling me that to lead me to believe he would never do such a thing.

CONFUSION!