Confessions from "The Other Man"

[theBrokenMuse]

Even closer to them than their husbands. That's the difference.

 

I could be totally wrong but from what you've written I've come to think that the statement above speaks volumes. When your wife cheated on you, you probably felt emasculated as many men tend to. Being able to have something more with these women than you consider them to have with their own partners has given you an ego boost. You consider yourself a thief. You pride yourself on being able to 'steal' the affection of these women away from their mates thus making yourself 'better' then them in your eyes.

 

The fact is, Bandit, that you sound emotionally stunted and utterly terrified of true emotional intimacy with another woman. Which is another reason why you send them packing if things get 'too involved' for you. I know you say that there is a real closeness and bond with these women but I have an inkling that it's much more one sided than you let on.

 

I also think you relish in the idea that these women adore you much more than you do in the actual feelings themselves and that you adore the sense of power and control that you get both from the way you call all the shots in these affairs and the way you go about shamelessly pretending to be a friend to (and thus further degrading and humiliating) the unknowing husbands you've been cuckolding.

 

What an ugly situation. I'd be very surprised if it doesn't someday wind up like a Greek tragedy.

[TheBandit]

Whoever said I wasn't happy? I'm far happier today than I was being married. I am not angry. And I am not using these girls to get back at my wife. I think you are cheapening this to be about sex only. I am not.

 

Ok..I'm just not understanding this? How on earth could messing with other MW make you happy.. or happier than when you were married? Why are you selective to MW and not single Chicks? I guess I just don't understand what your motives are Bandit.

 

Mea:)

 

Yeah, it is amazing. I must have had my head up my ass for a long time. There is just tons of this stuff going on. I was pretty oblivious.

Strange thing about my two XW's that both serially cheated, they were both the type to be super critical of others that cheated and were very invested in pretending they had never cheated before.

Folks came out of the woodwork after their affairs became known , to tell me about their histories of cheating.

Best to watch out for yourself and don't believe much of what a spouse or lover tells you in this area.

Dogs are better companions.

 

 

Luckily, there are no children involved ... and if there are any children on the way, I assure you, they will not be mine.

 

I too was not aware of how bad the situation is, or can be. In a way, I know I am not helping matters in society's point of view .. but in many ways I am satisfying a need these women have to have that close connection.

 

Quite often, the wives state that they know what they are doing is wrong, but they can't help how they feel. And yes, hearing that makes me very happy.

[whichwayisup]

but in many ways I am satisfying a need these women have to have that close connection.

 

Then maybe doing this will help YOU understand why your wife cheated on you. Maybe she felt a connection to the OM, and he filled in a need or two of hers.

 

Quite often, the wives state that they know what they are doing is wrong, but they can't help how they feel. And yes, hearing that makes me very happy.

 

I'm sure that's exactly what your wife felt, she knew it was wrong but couldn't help how she felt.

 

You're on the other side of it.

 

Hope one day you stop and get therapy..Because one day one of those husbands will either break your face or do worse..We'll be reading about you in the newspaper. Some people who are betrayed do NUTTY things when pushed past their emotional limit.

 

Another thing, you may be happy now, but one day you will be lonely. NONE of those women are going to "be" there for you on a certain level. If you have an accident or end up in the hospital, do you think they're going to drop everything in their live, rush to your side and take care of you? If you say yes, think again..

[Meaplus3]

 

 

Quite often, the wives state that they know what they are doing is wrong, but they can't help how they feel. And yes, hearing that makes me very happy.

 

OK..right there is the problem Bandit. You know I was one of those wives at one time. I got involved with a MM player and gosh IMO, he had the same mentality as you here. I was in an emotinally abusive marriage and all this MM player did was prolong my leaving and confuse the heck out of me as well as break my heart. I was wrong but did not see that at the time. I choose to go behind my abusive H's back.. Wrong, wrong, wrong, instead of saying..Get the F*** out. So.. you are probably hindering these woman from makeing the right choices about their marriage. Do you see my point?

 

Mea:)

[lkjh]

Fake!!!!! He already changed his post, he went from saying he goes after his friends wives but later states that he knows the husband through the wives.

[TheBandit]

 

OK..right there is the problem Bandit. You know I was one of those wives at one time. I got involved with a MM player and gosh IMO, he had the same mentality as you here. I was in an emotinally abusive marriage and all this MM player did was prolong my leaving and confuse the heck out of me as well as break my heart. I was wrong but did not see that at the time. I choose to go behind my abusive H's back.. Wrong, wrong, wrong, instead of saying..Get the F*** out. So.. you are probably hindering these woman from makeing the right choices about their marriage. Do you see my point?

 

Mea:)

 

 

Point taken ... but the opposite is actually the reality. In many of the cases, its possible they weren't really happy in their marriage, but they fell into a rut that allowed them to exist.

 

In many ways, I breathed new life into their hearts when they were dying on the inside .. and hopefully made them realize that there is more to life than the situation they found themselves stuck in.

[Owl]

Okay ... I never said this was an achievement and I wasn't looking for an award .. this was a confession. I know fully well what this can do to a family, but for some reason or another, I can't stop and worse, I don't want to stop. I've been keeping my "lifestyle" bottled up for sometime now, but I am sharing my confession with you now.

 

I knew my post wouldn't be received well .. because of what marriage is "supposed to be". Well, I'm here to tell you that in alot of cases ... it isn't what it's supposed to be. Some of these wives outright stalk me nowadays .. and sometimes will even attack me when their hubby's in another room.

 

Am I on a revenge kick? Nope. This has nothing to do with getting back at anyone. But it has all to do with proving that marriages have huge, gaping holes in them, and many of the ones I've seen are together for many other reasons other than what they are supposed to be: love.

 

And I prove it well.

 

Who are you "proving" this to? Who's your target audience? Who are you intending to get the message across to? Us? Yourself? Your intended victims?

 

WHY?

[Owl]

And I want to reiterate...I really, really hope to hear about the day one of your "friends" comes home early.

 

Who knows...maybe you'll make the news?

[TheBandit]

Fake!!!!! He already changed his post, he went from saying he goes after his friends wives but later states that he knows the husband through the wives.

 

You're silly. I admit it started out with a couple of my friends wives ... but that was not an aspect of what I wanted to continue for obvious reasons. For some reason, when wives become close to me, they want me to get to know their hubby ... at least from arms length. In one case, I became very good friends with one of the hubbies, so I decided to stop the affair altogether.

[TheBandit]

And I want to reiterate...I really, really hope to hear about the day one of your "friends" comes home early.

 

Who knows...maybe you'll make the news?

 

 

I was almost caught once ... won't make that mistake again.

 

And that's one reason never to have an affair in their home, or to wear a strong cologne. If you've done this for a while as I have, you learn when to holdem, when to foldem, when to walk away, and when to run.

[Meaplus3]

[

 

 

In many ways, I breathed new life into their hearts when they were dying on the inside .. and hopefully made them realize that there is more to life than the situation they found themselves stuck in.

 

No, No, No, Bandit.. golly you are not their savior here! Your hindering them and your going to hurt one of these woman. Do you think that a MW in a bad marriage really truely needs to get that message from a player? Because if you do..IMO you are very mistaken. The MW needs to work on the marriage with the H.. through what ever means it takes to sort things out. Your just going to complicate things. Just my view.

 

Mea:)

[Owl]

You never have answered the question...just who are you trying to "prove" your point to?

 

Us?

 

Yourself?

 

The women you sleep with?

 

Their husbands?

 

I don't buy into a single bit of this. Sorry...this is nothing but an attention seeking thread, deliberately intended to rile the masses. There's no "proof" going on here...this is just a random poster wanting to stir everyone up for fun.

[2sunny]

your first post starts with "I am starting to think there is something very wrong with me"

 

so, what is it that you think is wrong with you? be honest...

[TheBandit]

[

[/b]

 

No, No, No, Bandit.. golly you are not their savior here! Your hindering them and your going to hurt one of these woman. Do you think that a MW in a bad marriage really truely needs to get that message from a player? Because if you do..IMO you are very mistaken. The MW needs to work on the marriage with the H.. through what ever means it takes to sort things out. Your just going to complicate things. Just my view.

 

Mea:)

 

 

If that were true, then why do so many of them want to continue with me after I send them back to their hubby?

 

Women and men typically marry for 2 different reasons. Men marry for love and a neverending right to sex. Women marry for love and security. Affairs happen when the connection is lost and happiness subsides.

 

After I send them back to their hubby, I tell them to work on their marriage and let me know how they feel later on. But then they miss the closeness they had with me, that in many cases they never had on the same level with their hubby.

 

I may not be their saviour, but I do have a way of exciting and liberating their emotions.

[Meaplus3]

I don't buy into a single bit of this. Sorry...this is nothing but an attention seeking thread, deliberately intended to rile the masses. There's no "proof" going on here...this is just a random poster wanting to stir everyone up for fun.

 

 

Well if that's the case it sure got me stirred.:laugh: And I don't even have PMS.

 

Mea:)

[whichwayisup]

I ask again, see my previous post to you on page 2 - Do you understand now why your wife cheated on you? Since you're seeing the other side now..

[TheBandit]

You never have answered the question...just who are you trying to "prove" your point to?

 

Us?

 

Yourself?

 

The women you sleep with?

 

Their husbands?

 

I don't buy into a single bit of this. Sorry...this is nothing but an attention seeking thread, deliberately intended to rile the masses. There's no "proof" going on here...this is just a random poster wanting to stir everyone up for fun.

 

your first post starts with "I am starting to think there is something very wrong with me"

 

so, what is it that you think is wrong with you? be honest...

 

 

This is merely a confession .. and maybe a view from the other side. Owl, i don't want nor need your attention, nor am i lying. I only needed to prove to myself, and anyone who wants to listen, that marriage isn't what society makes it out to be.

 

Yes, I do think there is something wrong with me, because I can't stop myself. I don't even want to stop. It's become almost second nature and it makes me happy. I know this is socially dimented .. therefore it only makes me wonder what wire got crossed.

[whichwayisup]

If that were true, then why do so many of them want to continue with me after I send them back to their hubby?

 

Because they are in an affair-fog and enjoying the intensity of the affair. The hiding it, the sneaking around, it's addictive.

After I send them back to their hubby, I tell them to work on their marriage and let me know how they feel later on.

 

How noble of you..Sorry, but that just takes the cake..

 

But then they miss the closeness they had with me, that in many cases they never had on the same level with their hubby.

 

That's because the intense/crush-like feelings and hot sex cannot compare to a long marriage. This isn't about LOVE, this is about excitement and all the newness new relationships (affairs) bring out in people. It really isn't about "you", it's about HOW you made those married women feel.

[Meaplus3]

[

 

 

If that were true, then why do so many of them want to continue with me after I send them back to their hubby?

 

Then perhaps these woman have no morals.

 

 

 

I may not be their saviour, but I do have a way of exciting and liberating their emotions.

 

Perhaps.. but don't you see that it's wrong? Real wrong!!!

 

Mea:)

[TheBandit]

I ask again, see my previous post to you on page 2 - Do you understand now why your wife cheated on you? Since you're seeing the other side now..

 

Yes I do. I've learned so much since then.

[whichwayisup]

Yes, I do think there is something wrong with me, because I can't stop myself. I don't even want to stop. It's become almost second nature and it makes me happy. I know this is socially dimented .. therefore it only makes me wonder what wire got crossed.

 

In some ways it IS too bad you don't have children. Atleast if you did, you'd set some standards for yourself, have some self control and BE HELD accountable for your selfish actions. You'd be putting someone else first before your own needs.

 

Therapy is the answer, but I know you're not interested in changing your life choices.

[JamesM]

I don't buy into a single bit of this. Sorry...this is nothing but an attention seeking thread, deliberately intended to rile the masses. There's no "proof" going on here...this is just a random poster wanting to stir everyone up for fun.

 

We agree again. Had to be one last time yet this year.

[whichwayisup]

Yes I do. I've learned so much since then.

Does your ex-wife know about your new found pleasure in helping a wife cheat on her husband, betray her whole family?

 

Too bad Lizzie isn't here, I think you'd get along with her fine.

[Marteka]

Sorry...this is nothing but an attention seeking thread, deliberately intended to rile the masses. There's no "proof" going on here...this is just a random poster wanting to stir everyone up for fun.

 

And aren't we responding nicely by getting properly stirred?

 

Bandit, these women are married, and seeking something they are not getting in their marriage. Great sex, affection, tenderness, passion...whatever.

 

Of course they adore you, of course they want to be with you. You are sweet, loving, romantic, sexy, you represent excitement, thrill...all the things that stir a person's heart and body.

 

But, dear Bandit, perhaps you should not be so amazed. Steak is very boring when you have it every night. After a while, you crave hamburger.

 

I do not have a problem at all with what you are doing. And I am sure you are spreading happiness in your wake. But perhaps you should stop being so surprised. For a lot of people, marriage is a desert when it comes to romance. And you are a welcoming oasis.

[TheBandit]

[/b]

 

Perhaps.. but don't you see that it's wrong? Real wrong!!!

 

Mea:)

 

"Perhaps these women have no morals"

 

 

Actually, these women very much have morals. There is no lure for me to attract a woman who has cheated before. These are most, if not all, first-time affairs for these women .. some even after 15 years of supposed "happy" marriages. (at least on the outside)

 

Yes, I know in my mind it's wrong, but like I said I can't/won't stop. Thats why I think something is wrong with me. But I am what I am.