Never made the move.

[neveragain2493]

I have a guy friend, and we have liked each other on and off constantly; we've talked about dating numerous times. Everyone is under the impression we've 'done stuff' or 'gone out', but we never have. We've never even kissed.

 

He talks to me all the time like he'd love to make a move.. He's attracted to me in all aspects.. But we hang out, and he never does anything.

 

Lately, I found out he was talking to a girl. I got so angry with him because 'I put myself out there just to get hurt', but he said he felt like he'd done nothing wrong.

When we hung out as planned, he payed attention to me but texted her the entire time. It hurt.

He soon dropped her, and now I wake up to find he has a new girlfriend all of a sudden.

 

We're the best of friends, but I know how he is with girls. Why flirt with someone and tell them things you'd like to do with them when you don't plan on doing anything or taking them serious?

[You'reasian]

I don't know who the man is you are talking about, but personally I will tell a woman that I want to be with her and that I enjoy her company.

 

Should she chose to play games and try to act aloof, I usually just cut her lose. I don't have the time or interest for playing them.

 

Communication is an important thing to.

 

If you guys can't get good quality communication, something's wrong?

[neveragain2493]

Thanks.. I figured something is wrong.

 

It's okay for him to talk to other girls, but if we're talking, and I take too long or am talking to other guys, he gets jealous or angry and says 'I guess you're talking to someone else/too busy to talk to me.'

[carhill]

He's immature. Give him a few years. Maybe you're just an ego feed. He doesn't seem to have a problem talking to (and going out with) other girls. It's not you, trust me.

[neveragain2493]

Okay, thanks.

That's what I figured.

 

I've asked others for advice, and I always hear stuff like 'He wants to keep you around, but it's okay for him to have a girlfriend. It's almost like he thinks you two are in a relationship, and you shouldn't be talking to other guys'.

[You'reasian]

Okay, thanks.

That's what I figured.

 

I've asked others for advice, and I always hear stuff like 'He wants to keep you around, but it's okay for him to have a girlfriend. It's almost like he thinks you two are in a relationship, and you shouldn't be talking to other guys'.

 

Have you considered talking to him about this?

 

Sometimes if a woman will come out and say 'baby, I want you and only you' - a smart and respectful man will put his things down and give you his heart.

 

Sometimes women go to other sources, come up with these ideas that sometimes come crashing down on them when they are off.

[Charles1978]

Hmm interesting. So many of these things remind me of my recent situation... this one included. There are two choices here... 1) he is interested, but doesn't want to embarrass himself by asking you out, then have you look at him like he has lost his mind. 2) He just isn't that into you. For the first option, understand... taking the leap from friends to more is the toughest move in the book. Ultimately, someone has to put themselves out there and let it be known. At some point, the frustration and longing for something more eclipses the possible embarrassment. It might be that he just hasn't come to that point yet. In other words, the feelings aren't strong enough yet. The closer friends that you are together, the harder it will be to take that step. It seems illogical, but it is the absolute truth. My vote would be with #1.

 

But since I don't know the guy, it could also be #2. Some guys lead girls on because they are too nice and don't want to hurt their feelings. They won't let it be known until the girl makes the moves. No need to go much more into this... it's pretty self-explanatory.

[neveragain2493]

I know what you mean.

There are some girls who try to flirt with him, but he doesn't say much because he doesn't want to hurt their feelings.

 

On the other hand, with me, he flirts a lot. He stated that he definitely means what he says to me, and that he is really into me.

He's said once that he loves me as a friend, but likes me as something more, too.

 

...By the way, he and the girlfriend broke up.

I agree with number 1. He said if he tried to make a move on me, I would slap him... But then he turned around and said he was joking.

[thegoodlife]

Honestly, you deserve better.

 

I had a similar situation that went ongoing for about 4 years until I finally had to put my foot down and say enough is enough.

 

You deserve someone who won't jerk you around, and talk about being with you while still talking/being with other girls. You deserve someone who wants to be with you- and you only, and makes good on the things he says. It sounds like this guy is a good friend, but wasting your time keeping you in limbo until he decides if he ACTUALLY wants to be with you. You're not a backup plan.

[Charles1978]

Honestly, you deserve better.

 

I had a similar situation that went ongoing for about 4 years until I finally had to put my foot down and say enough is enough.

 

You deserve someone who won't jerk you around, and talk about being with you while still talking/being with other girls. You deserve someone who wants to be with you- and you only, and makes good on the things he says. It sounds like this guy is a good friend, but wasting your time keeping you in limbo until he decides if he ACTUALLY wants to be with you. You're not a backup plan.

The guy might just be worried about ruining the friendship. There's no reason to tell the girl to move on just yet. Although I guess we'd need to know how long they've known eachother... so how long has it been? 4 years is ridiculous! So I agree with you there. This kind of behavior shouldn't go on for more than a few months

[neveragain2493]

It's definitely not been 4 years.

We met two years ago, actually became friends a year ago, but very serious talk like this started in November/December.