m-j Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Is it so much to ask? Are there any guys out there who want a great female friend? I can be there for you, hang out with you, have fun with you, provide female opinions and advice ---- all I ask in return is for your friendship and for the promise that you will never be sexually attracted to me. And if you have one thought about it, you immediately think of me 100kg heavier and with 100 STD's or whatever it takes for you to remove those thoughts from your head. My boyfriend has a female best friend and I am jealous. I need a man-friend who won't fall in love with me. Is it possible? Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 IsMy boyfriend has a female best friend and I am jealous. I need a man-friend who won't fall in love with me. Is it possible? Talk to your boyfriend about this. Why not try to be his bestfriend? Wouldn't that be nice! The two of you hang out and do cool things together like best friends do, then go home, relax and make a few babies Link to post Share on other sites
Author m-j Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 That's how I always thought it worked. But he has shown me that there is a difference in definition between a best friend and a girlfriend. A girlfriend is more important, we sexually express our love, we spend ALOT more time together hanging out and having fun, we sleep together every night and we want to commit our lives to each other. A best friend has his back, wants the best for him without wanting to be WITH him, has fun with him and is a good female influence he can spend time with, without being sexually attracted to her. Simple really? Link to post Share on other sites
LEANER1 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 In my opinion it is impossible unless you are unattractive. From experience, a man will only befriend a woman if he finds her attractive, has had sex with her and choses not to anymore, or just does not find her attractive at all. The whole man/woman friend thing has alot of flaws in it. I'm not saying it's impossible, just be sure to keep you guard up. The moment he (your friend) sees his chance, he will make a move. Yes yes yes, there are exceptions to every rule............but be careful. leaner Link to post Share on other sites
LostNLonely Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 In my opinion it is impossible unless you are unattractive. From experience, a man will only befriend a woman if he finds her attractive, has had sex with her and choses not to anymore, or just does not find her attractive at all. The whole man/woman friend thing has alot of flaws in it. I'm not saying it's impossible, just be sure to keep you guard up. The moment he (your friend) sees his chance, he will make a move. Yes yes yes, there are exceptions to every rule............but be careful. leaner Or someone who is still desperately in love with another woman, like me...are you in NJ? Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 male-female friendships do last so it shouldn't be that hard to find a man-friend. Anyone who says they are rare or don't exist needs to get real instead of making generalisations that they all end in sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author m-j Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I still believe they exist. I find it very difficult to think friends have never had THOUGHTS about their opposite-sex-friends, but I think if they keep it to themselves to prevent any complications, then things could work out. If they continue to have impure thoughts about their friend then obviously that is a big problem. I have had a thought or two about male friends of mine but i never SAY anything to anyone about it. It is a fleeting thought. I live in Australia actually. I would love to start a friendship with a guy who is in love with another girl because I will have first-hand experience on "the other side". I would love a gay best friend too but then that isnt proving any points about men not wanting to have sex with their friends --- because gay men wouldnt want to have sex with me anyway. I actually told a male friend of mine a few years ago that I dont want him falling in love with me and guess what? a few months ago he told me that he thinks im a wonderful girl and he wishes he had the chance to make love to me. Its a big compliment, nothing will ever happen between us, but the point is that i have not had any CLOSE male friends who dont fall in love with me after a while. are girls really that tempting? i dont flirt or act sexy (not anywhere near as bad as my boyfriend's friend)..... Link to post Share on other sites
griffinchicken53 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 yea that could work. i like a girl, so i could hang out with other girls and be totally not-interested in a romantic relationship. maybe they could give me insight into how to get through my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author m-j Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I'll also add that I have mentioned my past man-friend experiences to my boyfriend to try and help him understand my doubts about his woman-friendship and all I get is a disapproving look like I had done something wrong or I had been friends with the wrong guys. Now I doubt my boyfriend would ever trust me with having a man-friend, he would just think he wants to steal me away. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar_and_spice Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 I wanted to add that I have notice that usually if you have had the opposite sex friends from before the relationship, the chances of something happening between you is lower than when they are made while you are in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 You're looking for a male friend for the wrong reason. If you happen to befriend a guy, you have to treat them in a certain way. No flirting or doing the girly thing with them. You treat them like people, all sexuality turned off. If you don't and can't handle guys getting sexually attracted, then you're destined for failure. If you can handle a guy crushing on you, where you let them know you're not interested in a romantic way but like them as people, then let their crushes clock off, you might end up with a great male friend. I've got a number of close male friends who I've known since highschool and university. I'm also close friends with most of their wives and g/fs. I can rely on these guys for anything, at any time. Guy friends are different. You can't bleed or angst all over them when upset. In essence, you don't treat them like women. They're usually more goals-oriented. If you have a problem you need them to solve, go to them. If you need someone to listen to you and bounce things off of, go to your female friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author m-j Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 I have told my friends that I am not interested romantically and we are still friends, but one now lives interstate and the other is very busy and I hardly get to see him. And I agree with the definitions of female-friends and male-friends completely. Except I tend to become closer with the males that are more talkative, soulful, creative and philosophical. My boyfriend's male friends are wonderful to me, they are the best group of guys I know. But no matter how much they tell me that they are there for me, they aren't my friends, they're my boyfriend's friends. Anyway, I guess I just need to hold on to the good man-friends I have now and MAKE more time to see them. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 the males that are more talkative, soulful, creative and philosophical. Not always, but you'll find that many of these guys are governed by their emotions. This is probably why they have some difficulty keeping their emotional distance. You might as well have lesbian chick friends. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 or someone who is still desperately in love with another woman, like me...are you in nj? .....lol!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
citizen67 Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 It is possible. I have had some very close male friends, and one of my best friends currently is a guy. I think all of these guys (with the possible [but not definite] exception of the gay guy) thought about having sex with me (one out and out asked if I thought this might be a good idea and I said no). I know none of them were in love with me, but the thing with guys is that if you are halfway decent looking, and then also have a persoanlity they like, which makes you more attractive, they think about having sex with you. So in answer to your question, Yes it is possible to find a man friend who does not fall in love with you. It may NOT be possible to fnd a man friend who does not at least think about having sex with you Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts