It's a new year and I'm starting to lose motivation and confidence.

[fromlonelytogreat]

I feel so lonely.

 

I am sick to death of being blown off by friends, or them being unavailable due to being in serious relationships. This fact has blown away my confidence to make new friends.

 

Here's one example -

I recently got a promotion at work and called up a friend to see whether he wanted to catch up and celebrate with me. He said that he would. I've texted him many times since and have had either no reply, or a reply that was completely unrelated to catching up. That was two days ago. I wouldn't mind it so much if he was just honest and said that he couldn't or didn't want to. I hate being stuffed around with bull**** like that.

 

I've spent the entire holiday period alone, and just been feeling rather sad. I've lost the motivation to go to the gym, or just do anything really. I've spent too much time on the internet because I lack the motivation to do anything else as I know that I will be alone. I have to return to work soon, and I just don't want to look all glum and down in the dumps, but that's how I honestly feel at the moment.

 

I'm going to make 2009 the year where I meet as many new people as I can and make as many new friends as I can. I want to meet people that like socialising and travelling. I enjoy going clubbing and out drinking, but I go so seldomly due to lack of friends that are into going.

 

I want to live my life! I am sick of just being alone and wasting my time away. I work my butt off during the week and I just want to let my hair down on the weekends, not spend them alone or angry that supposedly good friends don't want to catch up. It's not worth it when my career is going great. I am 25 and haven't been on a date in years, this is not living.

[bodie124]

I can sympathize with you because I feel like I am in much of the same boat. When I hang out with friends it feels like we're having a great time, then when push comes to shove and I offer to hang out another time, they stick with their primary commitments and make themselves unavailable.

 

I am not mad at them because I did the exact same thing when I was in a long term relationship which I just recently ended. I made the mistake of losing sight of friends when I was in the relationship, now I am paying for it dearly with loneliness.

 

I, like you, am just trying to keep my head up though. It is all about the positive attitude, I feel. I have been focusing on keeping myself busy, applying for jobs, getting organized, playing guitar, reading books and thinking about the future. If you like to work out, push yourself to continue-- you will feel better after you do.

 

As far as your friends go, I think you have to put the effort in, but you also can't try so hard that you appear desperate for attention. It seems like a turn off for both friends and potential companions. Definetly message them to see if they want to hang out, but don't go overboard asking them to do so. If they refuse a couple times, I think its best to start looking for new friends.

[bodie124]

OH and another thing I forgot to mention. You don't need friends to go out and do what you said you want to do! Just get out there and go do it.

 

If you are confident and not the one sitting in the corner, you'll have a good time and meet people.

[39388]

It could be a lot worse. I have very few friends and most are so busy. Most are luckily are honest with me about what they are busy doing. I end up spending so much time alone.

 

To top it all off, no dates ever for me and I'm almost 35 years old. I feel like a complete failure and am trying to figure out where I went so terribly wrong and how to fix this mess.