notinthemood Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 My husband posted a thread about our story about what i did to him. hurt him so much.that was i cheated on him. someone said i can tell what i feel.so,I decide tell what i feel now. We have been married for over 6 years. We meet online,back that time. i also chatted with some other man to see who is the suit one for me. and also i flirting with them sometimes.and also i still contact with my ex boyfriend. after i meet my husband in real life.i decide put all other man away.just devote to him. but i haven't be honest tell my husband what i was doing before i meet him in real.During the chat i told him that sometimes he can have some fun with girls.i can understand.he was happy about it. After we married, soon,i got pregnant.one night,he didn't back home till morning. then he told me that he slept with his colleague,i was upset cause i didn't expect that he went to another woman so soon and especially when i pregnant. i felt hurt and got angry at him and got crazy,bite him on his arm. he pushed me down to defense himself. after that. he meet his colleague every few days after work. (She knows she has a pregnant wife). and soon after 1 or 2 months, another girl jump in our marriage. He showed that he cared her a lot , he dated with her everyday.i felt so lonely ,i just hold blanket wait him home everyday. several times,i tried call him sometimes,but he never answered my call or messages. Several times, i caught him and his gf in the restaurant,he got angry at me, and once,he kissed his gf in front of me, and talked about moved from our home to her. that was very hurt. now,he saying that time he just feel annoyed and angry at me,not mean that. He got this girl pregnant, later,she did abortion,the she left him. After that ,our life get some peace. sometimes,he went out,but go home on time.so,i think its ok.later he changed job,and had affair with his new colleague.i didnt know that.i found it out later,but the relationship as before, end. Things start changed since last year.i start feel he doesn't love me. and i confused whether he care about me or not. sometimes i start think he dosent care about me. he start go out often again. normally out from night ,back in the early morning(around 4 or 5am). i could not sleep and worry about him.and tried to reach him.but i felt like try to reach a dead person always, never get any answer. I start got angry. i was wondering he must never loved me.so,i start thinking about how a man truly love me should like be. and he has fun all the time. why i should just stay home long and waiting and take care of baby all the time. i was thinking about it,but i didn't do anything.one day, i caught he and my sister on the bed,i was astonished and so hurt. i could not belive that. it totally drove me crazy. after i found it out,i sat down and talked with my husband,he said he wish the relationship going on with my sister, and asked me understand it. i don't know what to say,and i expressed then i will go out get a bf too. he said that's ok,but i need talk with him before i do that,not do that just hurt him. but i went to my ex boyfriend,and sex with ex without tell him, and when he tried to call me ,i put my phone away, didnt answer him. My husband really got hurt by that. That time,i thought "Now you also can feel what i always feel now".After i back home,He questioned me.i tried to decline and lie about it. he questioned me without sleep,finally i admit it.From that he not trust me any more. he start check my computer and emails. and found out before i married him i flirting with man online,he got hurt and hurt not cause of sex,hurt cause of lie.He could sleep and eat well for months.neither i do. I understand what i did wrong was i was not honest to him, and hurt his feelings. and now he start think our kids maybe is not his,he asking me do the dna test,i agree with it.but the same time,i feel horrible for the kid.its his kid.but my lie bring unfair to our kid.I feel sad about it. People on his thread got very angry to me, think i am a terrible cheater and a liar.i admit it.When you build a relationship,no matter what,what you are,you should tell all the truth. not lie,not deny.Trust is very important for the marriage. During our relationship ,I confused and felt lonely.I made a mistake,i should sit down and talk instead make things worse to go out and sex with other man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notinthemood Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 Lately I think alot of sucide to get rid off my sin.But i have to alive for the kid. I am so suffer. very very suffer.I feel that there isnt any happiness in my life any more. and i feel so sorry for our kid. when i look at our kid's face. I just feel sad.very sad..I want die. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 My husband posted a thread about our story about what i did to him. Where's this thread at? If what you say is true, then you need to kick this goober to the road. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Oh Goodness. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 It's vnqsh2001: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t174521/ Just shows - two sides to every story. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 PLEASE think twice about hurting yourself. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Try calling a suicide hotline and you can get some friendly advice. Link to post Share on other sites
nittanylion Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 This is so fking stupid. I get freaking angry reading your story, and his story too. What kind of marriage is this? You 2 might as well not get married? What is the point of getting marriage if you both cheat on each others which lead to mistrust in the relationship. I dont think you 2 belong to each other. Its better to get a divorce, it saves you both headaches and heartaches. I am sorry to say that but I dont see this relationship can be salvage unless both of you come clean and no more bs game. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 `Nitta is right. I just posted on your H's thread. I think he's full of it. I didn't read the entire thread...just enough to see that he really doesn't take responsibility for his actions as you have. I think you're wasting your time with this man. And you need to grow a backbone and stop blaming yourself for everything. Be happy without him. He's not a "keeper" in my book. Good luck. And please don't harm yourself. As you said, you have a child to think of. Link to post Share on other sites
Author notinthemood Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 Thanks for your support. when i type those,i was in the angry,I exaggerate it. Its not entirley true. Sorry Link to post Share on other sites
desertmoon Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 oh my goodness, i feel totally duped....is this for real? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Because of your child, get help. You can't have thoughts of suicide, so please seek therapy to help with that, get on meds if need be. Yes, you screwed up, you lied and cheated - The counselling will help you understand why you did that, hurt yourself, your husband and your child. I haven't read the other thread yet but I will..In the meantime, focus on fixing yourself and being a mom to your kid. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Thanks for your support. when i type those,i was in the angry,I exaggerate it. Its not entirley true. Sorry I don't believe this! What's not true? Did your husband make you say you lied? If not, what did you lie about? How is anyone supposed to help if you're lying. My gut tells me you were telling the truth though and he's pressuring you. Does he call you names? Has he ever pushed/shoved/smacked or hit you? Because I'm sniffing out abuse here even though it wasn't mentioned. Did he kick you out? What's going on here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author notinthemood Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Dont worry about it. I am with my kid in the another apartment. Since he found ou i cheated on him, He moved out from our apartment. get his new apartment. his mean locked out means he locked me out from his new apartment.Cause i often came to him check whether he is fine or not since he is in the depression. he drink heaviy and smoke heavily. I always worried about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Well that sure cleared it all up. Don't worry about it? Ok, I won't. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
atwitsend Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I don't know what to believe. You lay out a whole story and then turnaround and say you exaggerated. Who are we supposed to believe? Link to post Share on other sites
Author notinthemood Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Dont worry about it here mean thanks for worry about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Oh ok, you're welcome. (In my head mean WTF????) Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 (In my head mean WTF????) Are you reading my mind? Good grief. The only one I feel sorry for is the kid... Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Are you reading my mind? Good grief. The only one I feel sorry for is the kid... But yeah. I feel sorry for the kid too. Sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts