Wife is leaving me for a fling

[BusterBrown]

Thanks for imposing your "old country" views on us stupid Americans - looking at eastern Europe and abroad, women are regularly beaten and have much less opportunity in life -- I'm not sure that you've got the gold standard either.

 

 

I think you are letting his comment offend you a little bit. he did say no offense;) seems like he's a bit shocked at how some people act in the states. frankly, i can see why. Much of the adults' behaviors are like that of teenagers. it's quite shocking.

 

 

EDIT: or she, sorry not quite sure if that was a male of female posting

[NYCmitch25]

I think you are letting his comment offend you a little bit. he did say no offense;) seems like he's a bit shocked at how some people act in the states. frankly, i can see why. Much of the adults' behaviors are like that of teenagers. it's quite shocking.

 

 

Yeah if you noticed I already altered it, it came off much worse than I meant it too.. I agree with him but lets be real here..

[Searching49]

Owl, I realize that for the healing process to start I need to pick a direction and move forward with it. The direction I picked was saving my marriage, but my wife has no interest in doing so. I explicitly asked her if she wants to be divorced and she said yes. I have pursued the avenue of divorce and continue to do so. I realize that you are saying it is impossible to do both, but it is also impossible to file for divorce when we sleep under the same roof (not just emotionally, but legally also in my state). Emotionally, I think I'm strong enough to pull myself through these next few weeks (I think my posts show that). Legally, I need to wait until Feb 1 when she moves out. I don't want to be divorced from her, but I realize that I need to accept her for the raving lunatic she now is and move on. I'm doing the best I can with the circumstances and I think doin dam* well. Meeting with the lawyer fri to see the financial consequences of any action I take and moving forward with that information. I am getting divorced.

[Sands_of_time]

Owl, I realize that for the healing process to start I need to pick a direction and move forward with it. The direction I picked was saving my marriage, but my wife has no interest in doing so. I explicitly asked her if she wants to be divorced and she said yes. I have pursued the avenue of divorce and continue to do so. I realize that you are saying it is impossible to do both, but it is also impossible to file for divorce when we sleep under the same roof (not just emotionally, but legally also in my state). Emotionally, I think I'm strong enough to pull myself through these next few weeks (I think my posts show that). Legally, I need to wait until Feb 1 when she moves out. I don't want to be divorced from her, but I realize that I need to accept her for the raving lunatic she now is and move on. I'm doing the best I can with the circumstances and I think doin dam* well. Meeting with the lawyer fri to see the financial consequences of any action I take and moving forward with that information. I am getting divorced.

 

Stay strong searching. You are still young...no kids (I am in the same boat as you). I know WE are going to look back at this and thank our lucky stars that we didn't have children with our respective wives. THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE.

[Owl]

Owl, I realize that for the healing process to start I need to pick a direction and move forward with it. The direction I picked was saving my marriage, but my wife has no interest in doing so. I explicitly asked her if she wants to be divorced and she said yes. I have pursued the avenue of divorce and continue to do so. I realize that you are saying it is impossible to do both, but it is also impossible to file for divorce when we sleep under the same roof (not just emotionally, but legally also in my state). Emotionally, I think I'm strong enough to pull myself through these next few weeks (I think my posts show that). Legally, I need to wait until Feb 1 when she moves out. I don't want to be divorced from her, but I realize that I need to accept her for the raving lunatic she now is and move on. I'm doing the best I can with the circumstances and I think doin dam* well. Meeting with the lawyer fri to see the financial consequences of any action I take and moving forward with that information. I am getting divorced.

 

I get that you both can't live under the same roof while filing for divorce.

 

The answer is simple...file. Then go to the court and request her removal from your home.

 

There are a couple of reasons for this. First, the person who is living in the house is often the one who retains ownership of it. Second, it allows her to suffer the consequences of her actions. If she wants a divorce, this is all part of her choice.

 

PROTECT YOURSELF.

 

Talk with your lawyer about what I've suggested. It varies state to state.

 

If your goal is divorce (whether you want it or not) do the best you can to protect yourself during the divorce.

 

I just wanted to add...I get the 'issues' of doing an "in house seperation". I've done it too. In our case, we reconciled. My goal was always that. SHE wanted the seperation, but wasn't really ready for divorce. I made it clear to her...there would be no real seperation...if she wanted to seperate, I was filing for divorce. No hemming, no hawing. I wasn't going to sit there for a year while she did whatever she wanted...either we were married, or we were not.

 

A signature that someone used on another site I used to frequent comes to mind here...

 

"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

[Searching49]

Thanks Owl. I am moving forward with the separation agreement and 1 year waiting period for the divorce. It really sucks that it will look like it was a mutual voluntary on paper when it really isnt at all. I am just trying to make this the least costly to myself financially and this way will only cost me about $1000. My lawyer said to put together a separation agreement. I talked to the stbxw today and we both agreed to putting together a list of our things by the end of this weekend. I'm not going to fight to be with someone who doesn't want me. I will find someone else in time when I am ready. The separation agreement basically makes us single again and all we can't do is get married. I'm going to need to take some time to myself though. I need to move past this to save what is left of my sanity. I just keeping telling myself that I need to let go...

[Mountains10]

Thanks Owl. I am moving forward with the separation agreement and 1 year waiting period for the divorce. It really sucks that it will look like it was a mutual voluntary on paper when it really isnt at all. I am just trying to make this the least costly to myself financially and this way will only cost me about $1000. My lawyer said to put together a separation agreement. I talked to the stbxw today and we both agreed to putting together a list of our things by the end of this weekend. I'm not going to fight to be with someone who doesn't want me. I will find someone else in time when I am ready. The separation agreement basically makes us single again and all we can't do is get married. I'm going to need to take some time to myself though. I need to move past this to save what is left of my sanity. I just keeping telling myself that I need to let go...

 

Searching,

 

I almost wished my state had a waiting period, would've given me more time to make the changes and make them stick, than the couple months it took to come off the emotional roller coaster that I was stuck on. A lot can change in a year and you both may still move on, but I would imagine in 9 or 10 months, you both could be very different people and reconciliation might be an option or it might not be. At least it would be a viable option than an immediate divorce.

 

I know we're all at different stages, but I would guess depending on how strong the marriage was or wasn't toward the end, would depend on how long it would take each of us to get over this event. I guess it also depends a lot on the person as well. It sounds like you're doing better. I know it feels like you're going crazy but after you grieve, I believe you will feel a lot better, take it easy on yourself and keep yourself healthy. Be good my friend.

[peteyj]

I don't know how long it takes to recover or if we ever do.. Yeah I'm glad I never had kids like a couple of you posters with my soon to be ex-wife...She's become nothing but a w**** who has a bf now that she left me for(well she didn't leave yet since she still lives with me until June but she's rarely around these days....but she doesn't work or have any money) yet she goes out on random nights and rarely gets home before 7am....So knowing all this now..who knows how long this has really been going on.. I mean I always worked and she rarely did....So it could have been going on for 5 years or just the few months I found out.. I don't really know. I don't think it was going on before but I can't be certain anymore...

 

Which also brings me back to the other point....While I'll move on from her I'm not so sure I ever have a desire to be married again or if I'll really get that close to somebody again..... Yeah I'm going through the divorce now and who knows if I'll feel differently in the future but I know a few things that happen to me when I was younger that still affect me....So I'd imagine in the future it's going to be very hard for me to believe anything a woman says... Even if I get close enough to trust one again... Will I really ever trust like I did? Probably not.

[Gunny376]

I don't know how long it takes to recover or if we ever do.. Yeah I'm glad I never had kids like a couple of you posters with my soon to be ex-wife...She's become nothing but a w**** who has a bf now that she left me for(well she didn't leave yet since she still lives with me until June but she's rarely around these days....but she doesn't work or have any money) yet she goes out on random nights and rarely gets home before 7am....So knowing all this now..who knows how long this has really been going on.. I mean I always worked and she rarely did....So it could have been going on for 5 years or just the few months I found out.. I don't really know. I don't think it was going on before but I can't be certain anymore...

 

Which also brings me back to the other point....While I'll move on from her I'm not so sure I ever have a desire to be married again or if I'll really get that close to somebody again..... Yeah I'm going through the divorce now and who knows if I'll feel differently in the future but I know a few things that happen to me when I was younger that still affect me....So I'd imagine in the future it's going to be very hard for me to believe anything a woman says... Even if I get close enough to trust one again... Will I really ever trust like I did? Probably not.

 

Seems to me? Her liabilities outway her assets! Better rid of her!

[BusterBrown]

Which also brings me back to the other point....While I'll move on from her I'm not so sure I ever have a desire to be married again or if I'll really get that close to somebody again..... Yeah I'm going through the divorce now and who knows if I'll feel differently in the future but I know a few things that happen to me when I was younger that still affect me....So I'd imagine in the future it's going to be very hard for me to believe anything a woman says... Even if I get close enough to trust one again... Will I really ever trust like I did? Probably not.

 

 

I know exactly what you mean. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was a one woman man. But now that I've seen how many "good" women end up cheating, I can finally understand the mentality of guys who have a different girlfriend every month. I'm just too afraid to settle down with one woman again. No matter how good you think they may be, they will probably end up hurting you in the end.

 

I remember before I met my wife, how many times I got burned by women. It sucked, I hated it. I finally met my wife and thought "Hey finally all that bs is over with". Little did I know I was just setting myself up for the ultimate burn. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!!

[peteyj]

I know exactly what you mean. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was a one woman man. But now that I've seen how many "good" women end up cheating, I can finally understand the mentality of guys who have a different girlfriend every month. I'm just too afraid to settle down with one woman again. No matter how good you think they may be, they will probably end up hurting you in the end.

 

I remember before I met my wife, how many times I got burned by women. It sucked, I hated it. I finally met my wife and thought "Hey finally all that bs is over with". Little did I know I was just setting myself up for the ultimate burn. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!!!!

Maybe my mentality will change over the years. I mean before I met my wife I dated a woman who was just full of crap. We only dated for 8 months and we really didn't see each other all that often and I was still in college as was she, but it sucked when we broke up. It was nowhere near what I'm feeling now but I was never one of those guys who wanted a new gf every month or to hook up with random strangers every night.

 

I actually like finding out about people and having real conversations. I guess that's why the bar and club scene has always been bad for me to meet anybody. I have no problems talking to women, complete strangers, anywhere else, but at clubs I really have no desire to talk to most of the people there...I tried a few times in the past and it was just one big game. I've never been into the whole 'pretend' to be something your not game.

 

If I could meet people every month who were cool and we would just go out, date, do this and that, I'd have no problems with that, but I've never been one to play the whole 'game.' If somebody doesn't like me then they don't like me. Yeah you can't be an a-hole and all that but if you just pretend to be this or that for six months and she pretends to be this or that for six months. What the hell is the point. Even if there is nothing there, at least move on. Why just pretend?

 

There are certain 'rules' you should follow but everything else to me is kind of stupid. Everybody pretends to be somebody they are not and in the end nobody knows a damn thing about anybody and then they wonder why things didn't work out. If all you do is pretend, eventually the made up lives don't add up when you actually have to spend time together.

[Gunny376]

Maybe my mentality will change over the years. I mean before I met my wife I dated a woman who was just full of crap. We only dated for 8 months and we really didn't see each other all that often and I was still in college as was she, but it sucked when we broke up. It was nowhere near what I'm feeling now but I was never one of those guys who wanted a new gf every month or to hook up with random strangers every night.

 

I actually like finding out about people and having real conversations. I guess that's why the bar and club scene has always been bad for me to meet anybody. I have no problems talking to women, complete strangers, anywhere else, but at clubs I really have no desire to talk to most of the people there...I tried a few times in the past and it was just one big game. I've never been into the whole 'pretend' to be something your not game.

 

If I could meet people every month who were cool and we would just go out, date, do this and that, I'd have no problems with that, but I've never been one to play the whole 'game.' If somebody doesn't like me then they don't like me. Yeah you can't be an a-hole and all that but if you just pretend to be this or that for six months and she pretends to be this or that for six months. What the hell is the point. Even if there is nothing there, at least move on. Why just pretend?

 

There are certain 'rules' you should follow but everything else to me is kind of stupid. Everybody pretends to be somebody they are not and in the end nobody knows a damn thing about anybody and then they wonder why things didn't work out. If all you do is pretend, eventually the made up lives don't add up when you actually have to spend time together.

 

Rules? RULES?

 

THERE ARE BUT TWO RULES OF HUMAN LIFE!

 

1. SURVIVE

 

2. PROCREATE AND PASS ON YOUR DNA

 

Everything else is subjective, argumentive, questionable and subject to debate?

[NYCmitch25]

Rules? RULES?

 

THERE ARE BUT TWO RULES OF HUMAN LIFE!

 

1. SURVIVE

 

2. PROCREATE AND PASS ON YOUR DNA

 

Everything else is subjective, argumentive, questionable and subject to debate?

 

 

Thanks for un your gas carbines on this situation ..LOL, you've got a strong case there !!

[Searching49]

Which also brings me back to the other point....While I'll move on from her I'm not so sure I ever have a desire to be married again or if I'll really get that close to somebody again..... Yeah I'm going through the divorce now and who knows if I'll feel differently in the future but I know a few things that happen to me when I was younger that still affect me....So I'd imagine in the future it's going to be very hard for me to believe anything a woman says... Even if I get close enough to trust one again... Will I really ever trust like I did? Probably not.

 

I know petey, I have the same thoughts. Though for guys like us who are willing to be completely devoted to one woman, I have to believe that there are still women out there who want that. And I think that if any of us found a woman who wanted to be with us, I don't think we could suppress our love too easily. I know it is hard to see the forest from the trees so to speak, but I'm trying to get myself out there and see what falls into place. I have to believe that I can go out and have a fun time with my friends and just happen to meet a cute girl my age who has the same interests. I just hope that she is able to see past the marriage/divorce and not get wierded out by it. While it completely isn't my fault, I still think she may think twice knowing that I was ready to pledge my life to that other person. I don't know. Not really something I plan on divulging the 1st 2nd or 15th date for that matter. I'm 26, great job, great friends, good looking, with a huge ability to love. I don't see why I can't find someone else who would be willing to see past it all. As I've posted before, I think life is the choices we make. We can choose to feel however we want. Why would you choose to let one person destroy all of your happiness in life? I'm choosing to feel it all over again with someone else, and I want it all to be better than what I had here. I want someone who wants me, not someone who is just along for the ride, and I'm going to find her!

[Searching49]

Hey guys, having a pretty rough night tonight. We are finalizing our list for everything each other is getting. I feel like I am somewhat getting the short end of the stick so to speak, but it just stuff, and I'm really getting more than I need anyway. We also have a few cats which are kind of like our kids and we are splitting them as well. It's very hard to let them go. It's starting to all become "real". She is moving out a bunch of her stuff this weekend and is moving everything out next weekend. We will also be signing the separation agreement next week which I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about. I'm going out with friends this whole weekend, so that should be fun. Some of them are mutual friends that know our situation, but I plan to just have fun meeting the new people that I don't know. Even so, I hope I'm strong enough to make it through this next week. From my posts, I think you can see how hard I'm trying to put myself in the right frame of mind. I know this is all best for me in the end, and it won't be long until I'm hanging out with another woman who makes me feel wanted, but it's hard to let go of history. I'm removing all pictures/things of us together from plain sight. I've cut all communications ties phone/myspace/facebook. I'm trying to rip the bandaid off, and it is all happening this week. I'm trying to brace for the inevitable impact. It's going to be hard...

[Mountains10]

Hey guys, having a pretty rough night tonight. We are finalizing our list for everything each other is getting. I feel like I am somewhat getting the short end of the stick so to speak, but it just stuff, and I'm really getting more than I need anyway. We also have a few cats which are kind of like our kids and we are splitting them as well. It's very hard to let them go. It's starting to all become "real". She is moving out a bunch of her stuff this weekend and is moving everything out next weekend. We will also be signing the separation agreement next week which I'm getting misty eyed just thinking about. I'm going out with friends this whole weekend, so that should be fun. Some of them are mutual friends that know our situation, but I plan to just have fun meeting the new people that I don't know. Even so, I hope I'm strong enough to make it through this next week. From my posts, I think you can see how hard I'm trying to put myself in the right frame of mind. I know this is all best for me in the end, and it won't be long until I'm hanging out with another woman who makes me feel wanted, but it's hard to let go of history. I'm removing all pictures/things of us together from plain sight. I've cut all communications ties phone/myspace/facebook. I'm trying to rip the bandaid off, and it is all happening this week. I'm trying to brace for the inevitable impact. It's going to be hard...

 

Hang in there S49, that is what this place is for, in my opinion. Vent it out here and let us try and help you along. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time tonight and I'm sure it's hard to split it all up and watch it go. Just remember, like you said, you will find that next woman who will appreciate you and we all learn from these situations so we can make better relationships in the future, and hopefully avoid a repeat of the bad pasts. Hope you have a good time, hanging out with your friends.

 

M10

[Searching49]

Hey Mountains. Things are going much better. Had a great time with the friends this weekend. Actually met a really cute girl who was really into me too. Not quite sure if anything will come of that, but it was great to know that my game is at it's best. Best part about it, was I was totally myself and just had a great time. The STBXW is moving out tomorrow and we are full steam ahead with the separation agreement. Hopefully will be signed this week. I'm looking forward to her finally being out and having the place to myself. I've finally turned the corner and I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. Pelican Preacher and Sumdude would be proud. I think I'm going to end this thread unless anyone keeps posting. I'll lurk on LS and try to help out others still. Many thanks to all who have helped me through the dark times of the past couple months.

[Nomad1]

Searching - You are doing amazingly well, given that it has only been 2 months. When she moves out, you need to speed up the disentanglement of any joint assets, bank accounts etc. Do it now! It is better to maintain absolute NC after she leaves. Find yourself other distractions...I mean women. That has been the best remedy for me. Don't jump into anything serious just yet....and be honest with any woman you meet. Make it clear that you are not looking for commitment at this stage.

 

Good luck man!

 

Nomad1

[monkey77]

Good luck to you!

 

The best thing to do is make your own personal plans, make your path for yourself. Show 'em what you're made of!

 

I have recently witnessed my Dad going through the same thing, although they are hopefully going to be talking things out soon. Fingers crossed. It is dreadful, but recently I have noticed how much my Dad is starting to get his old self back, and now mum wants to talk! He is confused as hell now!

[husbndinthemaking]

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana]I'm 26 years old and married to the woman I thought was the girl of my dreams. We were together for 5 years before we were married. We both work and have very well paying jobs. We bought a large house together two years ago which is now “upside down”. She took a vacation in July 2008 with some girlfriends to visit her sister in Colorado. She was battling some depression before that, but when she came back she was a completely different person and completely uninterested in me. In early September she gave me a letter that said she has had many things on her mind for years, doesn’t think we have enough in common, and needs someone who is “adventurous” and doesn’t think that person is me. That night I slept in our downstairs bedroom, but was going up at 2am to talk her about everything. To my surprise she was still on the phone so I listened in. She was talking to another man about how they had made out and held hands in Colorado and how “everything was perfect”. She was also planning another trip back to Colorado in November and that they could “make out and see what comes naturally”. I went upstairs and confronted her about it and have received very little since then. All she can say is that she is sorry, she just doesn’t feel in love with me, and hasn’t for years (but she bought a house with me and married me anyway thinking that feeling would go away). The phone records confirmed that these hour long conversations were going on daily for those two months and that they continue to this day. She has promised she would stop talking to him three times now, but has not done so. We have gone to counseling but she wouldn't really open up and would just make empty promises and she has refused to go back. She did cancel her November trip, but they have still continued to call each other. She hasn't slept with him yet because he lives in Colorado and we live in a house together, but she said she is moving out in February (she's asleep upstairs now in separate room) and I know it is coming. I'm not sure what kind of hole that will tear in me, but I know it won’t feel good. She also claims that she needs space to figure out what she wants in life, but I’m seeing that as a ruse that she just wants to sleep with him without me finding out. She says that their relationship isn’t like that and he is just a friend, but I believe otherwise and that it will quickly progress back to where it was when she moves out. I also overheard another conversation last night in which all I heard was “If you want to”. I can only imagine what the question was. I’ve done everything I could to save this. I definitely had my faults as well by neglecting her, but I’ve gone above and beyond to show that she is all that matters to me and I’ve never strayed from our marriage. Even though we spent a lot of time apart, I always thought our core love and relationship was as strong as ever. I was the husband that bought flowers for no reason at all, and would lavish her with gifts, so my neglect was not absolute. I may be 26 and have most of my life in front of me, but I'm still crushed by the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and feeling very lost and alone. The perfect life that I thought I so much deserved has come crashing down. 8-12 months ago we were talking about starting to try for kids in November. I just don’t understand how she can now say that was all a lie. We were the couple that every one of our friends was jealous of and wanted to be. I’m a very loving, kind, funny, and good looking guy with everything going for me in life. Except now for the person I wanted to share that life with, and I’m watching her drift away from me as I write this. All she can say is that she is sorry and that I deserve better than her. The next few years that I thought would be my happiest in life will certainly now be the darkest. Any help and support that anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated.[/FONT][/COLOR]

 

 

Want her back? Go to zaxxes.com.Good luck.

[pelicanpreacher]

Hey Mountains. Things are going much better. Had a great time with the friends this weekend. Actually met a really cute girl who was really into me too. Not quite sure if anything will come of that, but it was great to know that my game is at it's best. Best part about it, was I was totally myself and just had a great time. The STBXW is moving out tomorrow and we are full steam ahead with the separation agreement. Hopefully will be signed this week. I'm looking forward to her finally being out and having the place to myself. I've finally turned the corner and I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. Pelican Preacher and Sumdude would be proud. I think I'm going to end this thread unless anyone keeps posting. I'll lurk on LS and try to help out others still. Many thanks to all who have helped me through the dark times of the past couple months.

 

Atta boy! Don't let her trifling behavior affect your self-esteem in any way shape or form. Yes, you loved her when she was loving you but the moment her worm turned she became birdfood! The fact that you've looked deep within yourself and have given this matter the thought and emotion requisite to its seriousness has increased your emotional depth and wisdom far beyond your years and hers. You are no longer equally yolked as she has fallen by the waysided of her own volition. It's time to surge forward in your harness and get on with the business of plowing up the fertile soil of this good earth and have again the happiness that still awaits you. Though you reap sorrow at the demise of your marriage with your stbx, on the other hand, she has sown the seeds of the tempest and the whirlwind lays in wait for her. In time she will come to know loss and regret as she comes to learn that perhaps the grass wasn't greener on the other side of the fence but there she'll be penned to watch in gnawing remorse as all she could have had slips by in time and beyond her reach in an ever taunting rumor!

 

Take your revenge Searching by loving a life worth living and never look back on misery of the past!

 

Pax vobiscum!

[lostsoulmate]

Stay strong searching. You are still young...no kids (I am in the same boat as you). I know WE are going to look back at this and thank our lucky stars that we didn't have children with our respective wives. THANK THE GOOD LORD ABOVE.

 

We if you were with someone for 6 years, not married, but have a 4 year old. How does it work then. Custody, we own a house? CRAP!

[Searching49]

Atta boy! Don't let her trifling behavior affect your self-esteem in any way shape or form. Yes, you loved her when she was loving you but the moment her worm turned she became birdfood! The fact that you've looked deep within yourself and have given this matter the thought and emotion requisite to its seriousness has increased your emotional depth and wisdom far beyond your years and hers. You are no longer equally yolked as she has fallen by the waysided of her own volition. It's time to surge forward in your harness and get on with the business of plowing up the fertile soil of this good earth and have again the happiness that still awaits you. Though you reap sorrow at the demise of your marriage with your stbx, on the other hand, she has sown the seeds of the tempest and the whirlwind lays in wait for her. In time she will come to know loss and regret as she comes to learn that perhaps the grass wasn't greener on the other side of the fence but there she'll be penned to watch in gnawing remorse as all she could have had slips by in time and beyond her reach in an ever taunting rumor!

 

Take your revenge Searching by loving a life worth living and never look back on misery of the past!

 

Pax vobiscum!

 

Pelican, I think this is my favorite post of yours yet. I do finally feel much better and I am being completely honest with myself about that. I think I have been able to do so well because everything else in my life couldn't possibly be better. Not only do I know I deserve better than this, I want better than this and I know I can find it. Just one night out acting as myself and someone else already had interest in me which is more that I have felt in a long time. I have always known it is not our feelings that guide us, it is our choices. I have chosen to no longer be the victim because I am so much more than that. And the next person I am with will be able to reap the benefits of the confident person I have become through this.

[Mountains10]

 

Pelican, I think this is my favorite post of yours yet. I do finally feel much better and I am being completely honest with myself about that. I think I have been able to do so well because everything else in my life couldn't possibly be better. Not only do I know I deserve better than this, I want better than this and I know I can find it. Just one night out acting as myself and someone else already had interest in me which is more that I have felt in a long time. I have always known it is not our feelings that guide us, it is our choices. I have chosen to no longer be the victim because I am so much more than that. And the next person I am with will be able to reap the benefits of the confident person I have become through this.

 

Hey Searching,

 

About the meeting a cute girl, isn't it nice? I actually got flirted with the other night myself, lol. I wanted to say, wow, I'm not dead after all!

It's a great feeling. I wish the best for you going forward. Please don't be a stranger if you end the thread, PM me sometime as I lurk daily myself.

Take care and be strong!

 

M10

[seibert253]

Nothing heals wounds like time, and another beautiful girl to occupy your time and attention. Plenty of good ones out there that will treat you like a King. Hard part is finding them, the fun part is looking.