Gut Instinct v. Judgement

[Star Gazer]

Then perhaps I should take a page out of YOUR book, TBF.

 

Perhaps you should, as then you'd have GOOD karma and you'd be rescued by a handsome man with a shovel.

 

[Trialbyfire]

Perhaps you should, as then you'd have GOOD karma and you'd be rescued by a handsome man with a shovel.

 

Thanks SG. Speaking of good Karma and finding great, decent men!

 

Okay, back to gut instinct v. judgement. Sorry for taking it off-topic for the people who actually enjoyed the topic. Thanks for your patience, now back to our regularly scheduled program.

[Stockalone]

Reliant on what you want, you can affect the outcome. In other words, your gut instinct or in a positive scenario, your intuition, can tell you one thing but because you want something else or are afraid of taking that leap of faith, use your emotions and intellect to over-ride gut.

 

Yes, I do override my gut feeling from time to time. But I usually don't like doing it and it always bothers me. In fact, I have overridden my gut feeling just recently and now I can't sleep at night. It's 4:30 a.m. over here.

 

 

When looking solely at intuition (forget gut for now), I'm not convinced that it's instinctual. It's a form of lightening quick judgement that's based on personal wants or needs of the moment, with limited external input/data.

 

This is my perception of what happens inside of me:

 

Gut instinct either kicks in or not. If the early warning kicks in, RUN!! If it's quiet, then intuition (lightening quick judgement) kicks in. After that, conscious judgement is used (checklist), with intuition keeping emotional ports open, like a radar system.

 

That sounds familiar. It's like a system of filters. If the inital gut instinct gives the green light, it will be followed up by a quick assessment of the situation (intuiton) and then it will be passed on to the conscious mind for final evaluation.

 

What I don't seem to have is the effective radar system. Is it also long-range? Because that would be really cool.

 

If I have anything similar, mine is lousy calibrated (especially when it comes to relationships) and causes problems because it can't distinguish mountains from molehills. Or, more likely, I am just not good at operating that radar.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, I do override my gut feeling from time to time. But I usually don't like doing it and it always bothers me. In fact, I have overridden my gut feeling just recently and now I can't sleep at night. It's 4:30 a.m. over here.

((hugs)) Stock. I wish I could help you.

 

That sounds familiar. It's like a system of filters. If the inital gut instinct gives the green light, it will be followed up by a quick assessment of the situation (intuiton) and then it will be passed on to the conscious mind for final evaluation.

Yes, everyone has it. It's whether or not you're aware of it!

 

What I don't seem to have is the effective radar system. Is it also long-range? Because that would be really cool.

 

If I have anything similar, mine is lousy calibrated (especially when it comes to relationships) and causes problems because it can't distinguish mountains from molehills. Or, more likely, I am just not good at operating that radar.

That's just it. Even if everything says "Go", it's still no guarantee that things will work out. You just have to risk it, while examining possible future outcomes or risk it, after careful analytics of long-term potential.

 

I don't have a perfect system, for certain. We all just keep on, keeping on. But...if we don't keep on, there's no return.

[jerbear]

What's your choice or thoughts on this?

It depends on the context.

 

I had it go both ways.

 

I've been opportunistic in some situations even when my gut says it won't last.

[underpants]

When gut and reason seem to be in debate.

 

It is times such as these I consult the Magic 8 Ball.

 

With age and experience I tend to do the opposite of what that magic triangle/pyrimad of knowledge says.

 

The magic 8 ball lies.

 

6 one way, half a dozen the other.

 

Life is a crap shoot between knowing better and shooting your eye out.

 

Good aim be with you.

[Tomcat33]

I can guarantee that there's no one on LS who knows me very well, regardless of how they're determined to believe otherwise.

 

 

I beg to differ. Unless you are a pathological liar who has created a completely phoney online persona, and my gut tells me that's not the case, I think people on LS know you a LOT more than the version of you that you protray to others in real life.

 

That's my gut voice speaking, now my voice of reason tells me "you've expressed your observation now move on."

 

So, adios!

[Trialbyfire]

With age and experience I tend to do the opposite of what that magic triangle/pyrimad of knowledge says.

 

Sound logic!

[underpants]

Reply hazy, try again.

[Trialbyfire]

So that means I shouldn't reply again!

 

Oops!

 

My gut instinct is currently sitting and smiling, saying nothing. My intuition is giving off positive vibes to you. You've given me sound advice and judgement in the past. I trust you unders.

[underpants]

So that means I shouldn't reply again!

 

Actually my answer was in reply to another poster.

 

Yours say No. So, according to my manifesto this, 0f course means move ahead with logic.

 

Defy and rage against it. It's only power is soap and water contained inside a black plastic ball. A tiny lie teller. Easily destroyed, yet I prefer to torture it for your pleasure.

 

I will shake it again.

[Trialbyfire]

Defy and rage against it. It's only power is soap and water contained inside a black plastic ball. A tiny lie teller. Easily destroyed, yet I prefer to torture it for your pleasure.

 

I will shake it again.

Thank you. I will take your advice.

 

Soap and water make bubbles. Bubbles are transparent and insubstantial, just like lies.

[Taramere]

We laud instincts, I think, because they're commonly regarded as a pure part of us that is closest to the unadulterated truth. Unsullied by sophisticated thinking or socialisation. In the UK from 2003 to about 2006 our tabloid media constantly bombarded us with the exploits of Jade Goody - a wretched serial reality tv contestant, beloved by popular society because she was seen as so instinctive and "real".

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OhqY1Mg1SsE&feature=related

 

That part of society more concerned with civilised behaviour loathed her for what, I suppose, was a habit she'd developed of always responding to her instincts in an OTT way. Being a drama queen and a bully.

 

I think our instincts tend to be an immediate and honest response to potentially threatening situations we're faced with. "Should I fly or fight? Am I fit for this situation? Who can I trust in it?" We develop habitual behaviour in response to those instincts. Some might respond with extreme aggression, some with passive aggression, some using reason, some just walking away.

 

That habitual response is often what we get laughed at/punished for. Perhaps too much experience of that can teach us to mistrust or ignore our own instincts. The most destructive romantic experience of my life was with someone who boasted of not being on anyone's side other than his own. I was impressed by the honest admission of what a self-serving individual he was. Ridiculous as it sounds, "wow, he's so honest and upfront" blinded me to the very important "wow, what a dick he is" part that my instincts were telling me. Also maybe I was going through a stage where I needed to show that I was strong enough to not need a promise of loyalty or nurturing from a boyfriend.

 

I ignored my instinct/first impression of him (ie, not someone I would have wanted to do a shift with) and spent 5 years in love with someone who thought it was funny and manly to forget my birthday and generally be a crap boyfriend. Someone who, as it turned out, didn't even possess the honesty he lauded himself for. All the time my instincts must have been screaming at me. Certainly my friends were...but it can be very hard to separate truth and practicality from the clamour of your own intellectualising, rationalising and unmet emotional needs. Not to mention all the previous occasions on which you reacted too noisily to your instincts and were laughed at or accused of paranoia/oversensitivity for giving them a voice.

Instinct doesn't always tell us what we want to hear. Sometimes other people will punish us for voicing instincts that tell them something they don't want to hear. Maybe there's an art to listening very carefully to your instincts, but keeping the process private. Muting your public responses to them.

[Trialbyfire]

We laud instincts, I think, because they're commonly regarded as a pure part of us that is closest to the unadulterated truth. Unsullied by sophisticated thinking or socialisation. In the UK from 2003 to about 2006 our tabloid media constantly bombarded us with the exploits of Jade Goody - a wretched serial reality tv contestant, beloved by popular society because she was seen as so instinctive and "real".

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OhqY1Mg1SsE&feature=related

 

That part of society more concerned with civilised behaviour loathed her for what, I suppose, was a habit she'd developed of always responding to her instincts in an OTT way. Being a drama queen and a bully.

That was an interesting clip, when juxtaposed against this thread. Thanks.

 

I think our instincts tend to be an immediate and honest response to potentially threatening situations we're faced with. "Should I fly or fight? Am I fit for this situation? Who can I trust in it?" We develop habitual behaviour in response to those instincts. Some might respond with extreme aggression, some with passive aggression, some using reason, some just walking away.

Our instincts do react in a "fight or flight" manner, of which sometimes, it's worthwhile to turn and bite, and other times to shrug, turn your back and say "mmm..not worth it", then walk.

 

That habitual response is often what we get laughed at/punished for. Perhaps too much experience of that can teach us to mistrust or ignore our own instincts. The most destructive romantic experience of my life was with someone who boasted of not being on anyone's side other than his own. I was impressed by the honest admission of what a self-serving individual he was. Ridiculous as it sounds, "wow, he's so honest and upfront" blinded me to the very important "wow, what a dick he is" part that my instincts were telling me. Also maybe I was going through a stage where I needed to show that I was strong enough to not need a promise of loyalty or nurturing from a boyfriend.

 

I ignored my instinct/first impression of him (ie, not someone I would have wanted to do a shift with) and spent 5 years in love with someone who thought it was funny and manly to forget my birthday and generally be a crap boyfriend. Someone who, as it turned out, didn't even possess the honesty he lauded himself for. All the time my instincts must have been screaming at me. Certainly my friends were...but it can be very hard to separate truth and practicality from the clamour of your own intellectualising, rationalising and unmet emotional needs. Not to mention all the previous occasions on which you reacted too noisily to your instincts and were laughed at or accused of paranoia/oversensitivity for giving them a voice.

We've all ignored our instincts, at one time or another. I'm guessing you won't ever attach to someone like this again, or at least for so much time.

 

Instinct doesn't always tell us what we want to hear. Sometimes other people will punish us for voicing instincts that tell them something they don't want to hear. Maybe there's an art to listening very carefully to your instincts, but keeping the process private. Muting your public responses to them.

Once again, sometimes you have to voice your response and other times, not. It's reliant on whether or not they're the agitating/stalking individuals.

[Star Gazer]

I beg to differ. Unless you are a pathological liar who has created a completely phoney online persona, and my gut tells me that's not the case, I think people on LS know you a LOT more than the version of you that you protray to others in real life.

 

Ya know, I like to think I know TBF better than many others on LS, but I still think she's a LOT more guarded here than she is IRL. In fact, I have a tendency to believe she's a big softie...a lot more sensitive, not as stoic, IRL. I think she uses her heart a little more than even she'd like to believe.

[Lishy]

I think in real life that TBF is a chipmunk!

[mental_traveller]

Casinos make billions each year using judgement against people who rely on gut instinct. So personally I prefer judgement. There is a role for gut feel but usually only in areas where you are knowledgeable and experienced, and in any case good judgement will always pay proper attention to experience/intuition.

[mental_traveller]

Gut instinct, rather than judgement, is how people choose their romantic partners. And we all know how well that works...

 

Judgement is why your friends are so good at predicting how badly your relationships with hopelessly unsuitable people will turn out.

[shadowplay]

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OhqY1Mg1SsE&feature=related

 

Can anyone say B---I---T---C.... I want to wring that woman's neck after three minutes of watching her! Sadly there are many women like her. They gain power by intimidating everyone around them. Nobody wants to be the next target, so they sheepishly condone the behavior.

 

Is it just me or is UK culture fascinated by some of the most lame...er...unlikely celebrities (even more so than American)?

[johan]

I think in real life that TBF is a chipmunk!

 

You aren't the first one to think that.

[Taramere]

We've all ignored our instincts, at one time or another. I'm guessing you won't ever attach to someone like this again, or at least for so much time.

 

Hope I don't!

 

Once again, sometimes you have to voice your response and other times, not. It's reliant on whether or not they're the agitating/stalking individuals.

 

I think if it's a relationship that's important to you, and if you want to give it a fighting chance then yes - sometimes you do. The thing is that giving voice to your instincts often causes conflict, and/or makes you vulnerable.

 

For instance - a frequent instinct expressed on this board is when a poster suspects a partner is getting close enough to an opposite sex to put the future of the relationship in jeopardy. If they voice that instinct, the risk is that the partner will go ahead and sleep with the other person (if they aren't already). To add insult to injury, justifications such as "if you weren't so insecure, it wouldn't have happened" or "you put the idea into my head..."may be offered.

 

So it's a difficult call to make. Voice the instinct and, however diplomatically you try to do it, the other person may feel mistrusted and angry. It can put a barrier up, and leave you vulnerable to accusations of insecurity, jealousy etc. Feelings that we don't like to admit to, in our quest to seem enlightened and together, but feelings that are fundamentally human and instinctive.

 

Keep quiet, and you're stifling communication about something important. It's another form of mistrusting the other person. Essentially you don't feel safe enough with them that you can voice your concerns. It's at times like that that instincts can feel like quite hateful and certainly troublesome things to have.

 

Is it just me or is UK culture fascinated by some of the most lame...er...unlikely celebrities (even more so than American)?

 

We do seem to have. I think it's because we're such a class-obsessed society. Which results in inverted snobs seeking out candidates for an alternative aristocracy. The crasser the better.

[Trialbyfire]

I think if it's a relationship that's important to you, and if you want to give it a fighting chance then yes - sometimes you do. The thing is that giving voice to your instincts often causes conflict, and/or makes you vulnerable.

It can do a lot of different things. More importantly, how do YOU feel about it and its impacts.

 

For instance - a frequent instinct expressed on this board is when a poster suspects a partner is getting close enough to an opposite sex to put the future of the relationship in jeopardy. If they voice that instinct, the risk is that the partner will go ahead and sleep with the other person (if they aren't already). To add insult to injury, justifications such as "if you weren't so insecure, it wouldn't have happened" or "you put the idea into my head..."may be offered.

But that's the blame game trap and one that should be tripped. If someone's going to cheat, they will find a way to do it. Better to know sooner, rather than later.

 

So it's a difficult call to make. Voice the instinct and, however diplomatically you try to do it, the other person may feel mistrusted and angry. It can put a barrier up, and leave you vulnerable to accusations of insecurity, jealousy etc. Feelings that we don't like to admit to, in our quest to seem enlightened and together, but feelings that are fundamentally human and instinctive.

 

Keep quiet, and you're stifling communication about something important. It's another form of mistrusting the other person. Essentially you don't feel safe enough with them that you can voice your concerns. It's at times like that that instincts can feel like quite hateful and certainly troublesome things to have.

Yes, I totally agree it can be a difficult call to make and there's no set way for every person, since we all have our individual traits and triggers.

[Adunaphel]

I used to consider my gut instinct more reliable than my judgement, as my judgement is easily clouded by emotions.

I usually can trust my judgment to b fairly accurate when I can detach myself from the person or the situation, but it is no longer reliable when hurt feelings, or anger, or the green-eyed monster come into play.

Recently, though, I have started to wonder whether my gut instincts can be misled by emotions, too - although not the same ones that can affect my judgement. I will always listen to my gut instinct about people or situations, no matter what mood I am in, but if I have a decision to make I can easily mistake fear, anxiety and low self esteem for genuine gut feelings.

[shadowplay]

Hope I don't!

 

We do seem to have. I think it's because we're such a class-obsessed society. Which results in inverted snobs seeking out candidates for an alternative aristocracy. The crasser the better.

 

"Inverted snobs." Interesting theory. Makes sense. What better way for the masses to elect candidates to an alternative aristocracy than through a reality tv system that rewards crassness above all else?

[georgehutton]

RE: Judgement vs. Gut Instinct.

 

Different people have different levels of success with their gut instinct because different people have different levels of ability to understand their gut instinct. Sometimes fear and anxiety can interfere with a gut instinct reading. Sometimes you can have a small gut instinct telling you now, but since you have a strong wish to say "yes" you imagine your gut is telling you yes when it's really telling you know.

 

In NLP they call this 'trusting your unconscious.' The theory being that when you are thinking about making a decision, your unconcious brain is making about a bazillion more calculations that your limited 'conscious judgemental' mind can make, but the problem is the only way your unconcious can communicate is throught feelings, or the 'gut instinct.'

 

It can really help if you learn to 'calibrate' your gut. that is, pay attentiont to exactly how you feel before situations where you've trusted your gut turn out ok, and then pay attention to situatiosn where it didn't turn out so good.

 

Another way to do this is with a pendulum. sounds goofy, but its really a great way to communicate with your unconscious. You just need to calibrate yourself first. ask yourself a yes or no question that you know the answer to, and just watch which way the pendulum swings for yes, and which way it swings for no. then ask yourself the yes/no question you are really interested in, and watch the pendulum. it never lies.

 

AND it's great party trick.