RM0123 Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Is it really possible for a man to love a woman with his whole heart but let her go because he is not at the same place in his life as she and he is trying to protect her from getting hurt later on? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Is it really possible for a man to love a woman with his whole heart but let her go because he is not at the same place in his life as she and he is trying to protect her from getting hurt later on? No, I don't believe it's possible. When he says to her that he's "not at the same place in his life as she is," he really means that there is something about her that just doesn't do it for him. However, he does recognize that she is a great woman, and that there's nothing wrong with her! It's just that he's not feeling it for her. No matter what men say, they will go after the woman they really want - and they won't stop until they possess her. They would never let her go because they feel "they're not in the same place" as she is. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Depends on the guy and how he is emotionally. How open he is and how deep he gets, how well he handles intimacy. Some guys are just plain stubborn and some aren't. More info on your situation would help if you want more indepth answers.. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Is it really possible for a man to love a woman with his whole heart but let her go because he is not at the same place in his life as she and he is trying to protect her from getting hurt later on? Absolutely. Love really doesn't have a whole lot to do with it sometimes. Actually, the more you love somebody the more you want the best for them. There are many men who, for one reason or other, may feel the woman they love would be better off going in a different direction. There are many who know they would not be good for the woman in various respects. There are many intricate details that go on in people's minds so the process of love cannot be oversimplified. There are many men who may feel that because they love this woman so much they deserve a man who may be able to provide much more for them...give them a better life. Yes, there are actually a few unselfish people out there...can you imagine that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RM0123 Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 Thanks for the response. I am kind of taking the ones from people who just got dumped by a girl with a grain of salt. They can't imagine doing that to the girl they want to get back with. However, for the other replies. Whichwayisup and Tony T: I have been with this guy on and off for 6 years with a total of now 3 break-ups. When we first met he was 20 and wild. He wasn't going to school and flying to flordia on a whim. We started friends but then turned into more. Although one day he said he couldn't be in a relationship right then and wanted to be just friends. So we went back to being just friends, but only for so long. This time we were closer and he started college. We spent the almost all our time together but every once in a while he would do something to hurt me and couldn't call me his girlfriend. So when he planned a trip without me knowing I wanted to go on a vacation with him, I had a long talk with him. He said he just can't do a relationship and it has nothing to do with me. And I know for a fact he was not seeing anyone else. Well 2 months later we started talking again. We talked about our short comings and both agreed to work on them. This time he called me his girlfriend. Things had never been better. We went on trips, spent all our time together, never fought. However, he was never able to say "I love you". He would just tell me everyday how much he cared for me and basically said I love you in other ways. Well, he now started law school out of state. (A huge step considering he couldn't even go to college when we met). The plan was for me to move there in Aug. I told him i would like to get engaged and married after his second year. He seemed to be in agreement with this plan, although he would say things like "chill out" when i talked about it but said he was kidding. Well, anyway he just told me the other day that he wasn't at the same place in life as me and realized I deserve better. He said he doesn't know when he will want to get married, but he knows it won't be in 2 years. He basically didn't give me a choice in this decision. (One last note, he talked with his parents the night before we broke up and I always had a feeling they never liked me and I told him this many times. He is Jewish, I am not. Although I can't say if they pushed or influenced him in this decision for sure) Well if you actually read all that let me know what you think. Link to post Share on other sites
lovingalways Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Thanks for the response. I am kind of taking the ones from people who just got dumped by a girl with a grain of salt. They can't imagine doing that to the girl they want to get back with. However, for the other replies. Whichwayisup and Tony T: I have been with this guy on and off for 6 years with a total of now 3 break-ups. When we first met he was 20 and wild. He wasn't going to school and flying to flordia on a whim. We started friends but then turned into more. Although one day he said he couldn't be in a relationship right then and wanted to be just friends. So we went back to being just friends, but only for so long. This time we were closer and he started college. We spent the almost all our time together but every once in a while he would do something to hurt me and couldn't call me his girlfriend. So when he planned a trip without me knowing I wanted to go on a vacation with him, I had a long talk with him. He said he just can't do a relationship and it has nothing to do with me. And I know for a fact he was not seeing anyone else. Well 2 months later we started talking again. We talked about our short comings and both agreed to work on them. This time he called me his girlfriend. Things had never been better. We went on trips, spent all our time together, never fought. However, he was never able to say "I love you". He would just tell me everyday how much he cared for me and basically said I love you in other ways. Well, he now started law school out of state. (A huge step considering he couldn't even go to college when we met). The plan was for me to move there in Aug. I told him i would like to get engaged and married after his second year. He seemed to be in agreement with this plan, although he would say things like "chill out" when i talked about it but said he was kidding. Well, anyway he just told me the other day that he wasn't at the same place in life as me and realized I deserve better. He said he doesn't know when he will want to get married, but he knows it won't be in 2 years. He basically didn't give me a choice in this decision. (One last note, he talked with his parents the night before we broke up and I always had a feeling they never liked me and I told him this many times. He is Jewish, I am not. Although I can't say if they pushed or influenced him in this decision for sure) Well if you actually read all that let me know what you think. Interesting story. He might really not be in that stage of life - I'm thinking he's being honest with you rather than leading you on. However, I don't know him, so I can't really tell whether it is BS or not. But I'll give you one example: My now friend is Jewish; I'm Catholic. We started dating but my mom wouldn't stop butting into the relationship (she has never met the guy but for some reason she thought he was bad for me - till this day I don't know why). Anyway, when it came down to it, we sat down and he said how, because of my mother, he can't see us working out in the future. And to be honest, I sensed it too. My mother is a very strict woman, stubborn and she doesn't understand or want to understand that I'm a grown woman and want to be able to make decisions on my own - especially when it comes to guys. So, the guy and I sat down and as hard as it was to have that talk, he said exactly the same thing your guy did - that I deserve someone who is better, someone who is going to be able to give me more because I am special, and that no matter what we decide he's always going to be there for me. And he was not BS-ing at all. Actually, he was so crushed and I could tell by the way he looked at me. Later on that night, I received a call from him, sort of out of the blue, and we talked for the next 4 hours and I could tell that he didn't want to let me go - he said something without even thinking and then tried to say that he didn't say it (He said "If we give it time, I'm sure our relationship would be much stronger and we could be together..." and then he said "Nevermind... I don't want to give hope to a right now hopeless situation"). So, I might, at first have been thinking that he's BS-ing, because guys usually do BS when they don't want to be with a girl anymore, but then I realized that he was being honest and that he was thinking about me and my feelings and what could happen down the road (unselfish). You have no idea how much respect I have gained for him because of this. I would rather him be honest than lead me on for the next 6 yrs and then tell me he can't marry me or something like that. Plus, this guy never told me "I love you" but somehow I believe and know he does. So my point is: when he said this, did he sound honest? Did he look you in the eye and you felt like you can trust him? If your gut feeling told you that he was BSing, then listen to it. I hope this helped. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Is it really possible for a man to love a woman with his whole heart but let her go because he is not at the same place in his life as she and he is trying to protect her from getting hurt later on? Its possible for a man to want to love a woman with his whole heart, but hold back because she is not in the same place as he. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts