hellp12234 Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Okay, so here is my story. Last night I met this guy at a party who is a friend of a friend. We were introduced by my friend and he seemed pretty cool and like someone that I wanted to know better. So, as the night went on, I kept trying to find a way to talk to him. Finally, I passed right by him and he was standing alone. We are both in school and studying the same thing. I couldn't think of what to say so I just asked him something school related and we talked for a bit but it was kind of boring because it was school related and I felt like it didn't go as well as I had hoped. I mean I didn't say anything stupid but there wasn't really anything special. Now, I'm contemplating adding him as a friend on facebook. I mean I do know him and we are studying the same thing so it wouldn't be bad to be connected to this person. Do you guys think it would be weird if I did add him? Would it seem stalkerish at all? Thank you :-) Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 No. Don't add him as a friend. You don't know him! If you want to get to know him better then ask him out to coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellp12234 Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 Well, I do know him. I mean we were introduced and we have mutual friends and he is actually my friend's brother. I don't know, does that make any difference? Link to post Share on other sites
likestolaugh Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 go ahead! People add the most random and tenuous of connections as friends on facebook. You don't think that all those people that have 500+ "friends" on facebook are really real friends with all those people do you? No harm done by adding him. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 Why the rush to add him as a friend? Why not get to know him abit OFFLINE face to face before adding him? Too many folks push new friendships online and it stays there. Less personal and detached. Anyway it's up to you, but if I were in your shoes I wouldn't add him yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellp12234 Posted January 4, 2009 Author Share Posted January 4, 2009 The thing is, I don't know when I would see him again. We are studying the same thing but we don't go to the same school. Plus, I don't know if I necessarily want a relationship with this guy, but I'm thinking that I'd just like to be in touch because he seemed like a smart person and I really don't know how else to stay in touch. I agree face to face would be better, but that doesn't really seem like much of an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Love_Forest Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 no, because you do not know who is him. I do not add unknown persons on my friends list Link to post Share on other sites
kashmir Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 A girl who adds a guy she doesn't know too well is A LOT more forgiving than a guy who adds a girl he doesn't know too well. I don't think it would matter either way for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 4, 2009 Share Posted January 4, 2009 I don't see how will adding him on facebook help your chances to get to know him better. Ok. So you add him on facebook. He accepts. Then you have to come up with something to say to him - one of those wall to wall communications or public comments on mutual statuses. I mean : how do you figure helpbook will help you two get to know each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellp12234 Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 I don't know, I guess I'm just thinking that it is better than nothing. And, actually facebook has helped me to stay in touch with a lot of friends that I normally wouldn't have. I guess I just want to have some form of connection and facebook is the best option on the table. Does it seem pathetic if I add him? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I don't know, I guess I'm just thinking that it is better than nothing. And, actually facebook has helped me to stay in touch with a lot of friends that I normally wouldn't have. I guess I just want to have some form of connection and facebook is the best option on the table. Does it seem pathetic if I add him? I don't think it seems pathetic. But he is a friend of a friend. What are the chances you'll run into him again? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Well, I do know him. I mean we were introduced and we have mutual friends and he is actually my friend's brother. So, if this guy is your brothers friend, don't you think you're bound to run into him at some point? Go ahead and add him, see what happens. He'll either add you or he won't. Link to post Share on other sites
likestolaugh Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 facebook is a social lifeline to people around you, people that interest you, people you like, but usually not people you hate. I've hung out with people for just an evening, barely talking to them and yet sometimes they've added me to facebook the next day. I'd not think anything bad about that. It's just a lifeline to someone you met... a possible way if all else fails to get in touch with them for some reason. Link to post Share on other sites
malibustacydoll Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 You can see how many friends he has on facebook. You should look at that to get your answer. If he has 200 or more then he probably accepts/adds people often. If he has less then he may be one of the people who likes to know who they are friends with so then maybe you shouldn't. You could just send him a message and say, "oh hey, you're the guy I met the other night, right?" or something like that to spark a conversation and make you look more innocent. Link to post Share on other sites
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 No. Don't add him as a friend. You don't know him! If you want to get to know him better then ask him out to coffee. no, because you do not know who is him. I do not add unknown persons on my friends list Um...she DOES know him. What's the big deal of adding him? It's not like he's a total stranger....you met him at a party in person. I do that myself. It'd be different if it was some random guy you met on the net...but since you know him through another friend GO FOR IT You have an "in" a reason to add him. I do that all the time, someone introduces me to some lady friends, we chat a bit....I typically message them first hello and ask them if I could add them. . Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellp12234 Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 To Bells: so if a girl you met at a party added you on facebook you wouldn't think that it's a big deal? Thank You :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 To Bells: so if a girl you met at a party added you on facebook you wouldn't think that it's a big deal? Thank You :-) I am just wondering why some people are making a big deal how it's inappropriate to add someone. They arelike "NO don't do it, you don't know him!!" Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Um...she DOES know him. "knows OF" him, big difference there. She barely "knows" this guy, as she knows nothing about him, his likes, dislikes etc..She is 'aware' of him because of her brother and friends of a friend. THAT is NOT knowing someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Bells Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 "knows OF" him, big difference there. She barely "knows" this guy, as she knows nothing about him, his likes, dislikes etc..She is 'aware' of him because of her brother and friends of a friend. THAT is NOT knowing someone. That's the beauty of Facebook! You can GET to know them....anyways she actually interacted with him. So that's reason enough. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Ask yourself this. CAN you handle it if he rejects the friendship request? I am just wondering why some people are making a big deal how it's inappropriate to add someone. They arelike "NO don't do it, you don't know him!!" Because not everyone add people they barely know. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 Okay, so here is my story. Last night I met this guy at a party who is a friend of a friend. We were introduced by my friend and he seemed pretty cool and like someone that I wanted to know better. So, as the night went on, I kept trying to find a way to talk to him. Finally, I passed right by him and he was standing alone. We are both in school and studying the same thing. I couldn't think of what to say so I just asked him something school related and we talked for a bit but it was kind of boring because it was school related and I felt like it didn't go as well as I had hoped. I mean I didn't say anything stupid but there wasn't really anything special. Now, I'm contemplating adding him as a friend on facebook. I mean I do know him and we are studying the same thing so it wouldn't be bad to be connected to this person. Do you guys think it would be weird if I did add him? Would it seem stalkerish at all? Thank you :-) Facebook is a networking service, so if you guys are studying the same thing it could be good to add him. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I am just wondering why some people are making a big deal how it's inappropriate to add someone. They arelike "NO don't do it, you don't know him!!" If it were appropriate for everyone to be "friends" with people they don't know, the "add friend" feature wouldn't exist to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 To Bells: so if a girl you met at a party added you on facebook you wouldn't think that it's a big deal? Thank You :-) He'd jump at that chance and add her as a friend. Sorry bells, you're quite predictable now after reading so many of your threads.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hellp12234 Posted January 5, 2009 Author Share Posted January 5, 2009 To Whichwayisup: do you really think that he would reject my request? I mean I am his sister's friend on facebook and we have 4 mutual friends. And, I mean he did give me some school related advice that night, so I was thinking to just thank him for the advice and say that it was nice to meet him. Link to post Share on other sites
likestolaugh Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I agree with the poster who said see how many facebook friends he has (if you can). That should give you an idea. Link to post Share on other sites
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