MiniMina Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 To all those ladies waiting for the proposal, here is a little inspirational story.. A few months ago I was starting to get really frustrated with not being engaged. We had decided that when I finished grad school, got a job, and we were able to move in together we would get engaged. He had been hinting that it might happen as a graduation present, but no such luck. Then when he went away for a few months for work I thought it would happen when he got back. Once again it was a no-go. Then I started looking for hints again around my birthday, and of course nothing happened. After all this I started to get frustrated and began bugging him all the time about rings, mentioning getting married, talking about our married friends, etc. Then, of course, he started to get frustrated with me for being so wedding-obsessed. Eventually we had a long talk about it and he told me how it made him more nervous because he didn't understand why I was all of a sudden do desperate. I also realized that I was much happier just being with him and not worrying about when we would get married. So, with much effort, I stopped thinking about it. It was like breaking a bad habit because every time I started thinking about getting married I told myself to focus on something else. I learned how to hold my tongue when I wanted to hint, and soon enough I was no longer obsessed with rings, weddings, or proposals. I was so much happier too! Then, right before we left to see his parents for Christmas, we were sitting together in our apartment he asked me to marry him. So now we're engaged and getting married in October. Turns out he was looking for rings way before I started bugging him and it took forever because he wanted it to be perfect (...and he had some trouble with the jeweler) So, I guess it turned out for me that relaxing worked way better than nagging to get the proposal I wanted. I hope this helps! Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I'm happy for you.... If this is what you really want, then this is what you really have!! The hard work starts the day after the last day of the honeymoon...... Congratulations! Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Thanks, it did help a little for me! Oh, and congrats! Pretty much same situation as you, although I try not to constantly bug him about it. I'm anxious, but I'm trying to bite my tongue about proposals and rings and all. He drops weird hints and says stuff like "you'll never know when it will happen, it will be a huge surprise." While this is all well and good, he has been saying it for about 5 months now with no proposal. So it is getting a little frustrating. He has told me to relax so that is what I am trying to do. When he starts talking about "surprises" I just ignore him and say "uh huh" and then change the subject. I don't think it's so much obsession or desperation, I think it's just anxiety about something important in your life. For some reason that kind of anxiety manifests itself into an obsession. I worry that it won't happen, but in my heart I know that it will someday. Now that I'm not obessing as much, I do feel happier. Thanks for the inspirational story and contrats again! Link to post Share on other sites
Jo78 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Congratulations to you! Well, I relaxed, too. We've had an awesome time together since. And he did have a huge surprise for me, when I came back from visiting my family for the holidays. A surprise deployment to Iraq, that is. So the 'relax and things will fall into place' philosophy does not work for everyone, I'm afraid. I'm glad it worked for you, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Congratulations to you! Well, I relaxed, too. We've had an awesome time together since. And he did have a huge surprise for me, when I came back from visiting my family for the holidays. A surprise deployment to Iraq, that is. So the 'relax and things will fall into place' philosophy does not work for everyone, I'm afraid. I'm glad it worked for you, though. Awww. I'm so sorry! My best friend's husband is getting deployed to Afganistan (he is in the Air Force) and she is so upset that he has to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MiniMina Posted January 6, 2009 Author Share Posted January 6, 2009 Thank you everyone for the congrats! Congratulations to you! Well, I relaxed, too. We've had an awesome time together since. And he did have a huge surprise for me, when I came back from visiting my family for the holidays. A surprise deployment to Iraq, that is. So the 'relax and things will fall into place' philosophy does not work for everyone, I'm afraid. I'm glad it worked for you, though. Aww, I'm so sorry for you. I thought being separated for 3 months was hard, I have so much respect for the military families that do it for so much longer! Link to post Share on other sites
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