jack79 Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 Hmm I think I have a problem , I seem to feel easily rejected with people in general …. Even people I don’t know very well. I don’t have to many friends cause I ama shy person but also I am very scared of rejection..its like if I meet someone and we get to know each other a little better I get very attached to that person .. then depending on the relationship we share like friends or close buddies I build my expectations , then I go out of my way to keep it like it should be , but then if the other person dosent like me as much I get into a depression and keep beating myself over it . I don’t forget easily so that a big problem, this leads me to suffer from major self esteem problems ..when I get out of them I meet someone else and I am back to square one .. Its like either I am really picky ..if I am believe me its not I am aware of it ..people who generally meet me find me a very easy going person and I don’t limit myself to one kind of people either . But its like human relationships are very complicated but if other people can have good ones then why do I suffer from all these insecurities .. For example I am friends with my x gf and I used to talk to her on icq sometimes she would respond and talk and sometimes she wouldn’t which I understood because shes really busy . I spoke to her s few days back on icq and was just joking that I loved talking to her on it and she sent me a smile I mean she also asked how I was doing and stuff . But the last few days she got that do not disturb icq sign on her name …well first few days I thought could be shes really busy .. but its been on their for like the whole week now ,,and I cant but help thinking that she dosent want me to talk to her …I know its absurd because that sign is for all the people , but why do I feel so personal about it … The worst is that I am doing pretty okay like career wise and stuff but I get so insecure and weak when I feel rejected … I mean its not that she told me to f off … so why do I feel this way . Why cant I just accept the fact that u cant get along with everybody all the time ..what s my problem why do I give these things so much importance Can I ever change , how do I do that .. I am not bad looking , ive been told that I have a good sense of humor then… why do I feel rejected ..so easily.. Also iam a piscean …does that matter …am I just built like this ?? Link to post Share on other sites
G-Unit Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 How old are you? Does your ex-girlfriend always ignore you? Did you say something to her that annoys her? I feel your pain of rejection and what not except it has to do about being friends with a hot girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jack79 Posted September 19, 2003 Author Share Posted September 19, 2003 Well iam 24 yrs old and no she dosent always ignore me , I did chat with her like hi hows it going about 4 days ago . I don’t think I said anything to annoy her we were just chatting generally and she was like ur job is tough long hours and stuff so I just jokingly remarked that it was all worthwhile ..as I could chat with her ..i was only joking and made that clear ….although she didn’t say anything after that .. but then why talk to me at all for the last few weeks if this is what she really wanted .. I mean I suggested to her earlier on that we should be friends …but she had remarked ur special ..if I am so special ..why is she not talking to me Yes she is pretty but I wouldn’t say she is extraordinary or anything.. plus she proposed to me ..and I am pretty cute looking guy ..but again not like a real hunk or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 You might want to get some books on self-esteem. There is actually a disorder called Avoidant Personality Disorder whose sufferers are painfully self-conscious but the symptoms are more severe symptoms so I don't think you have it. Rejection is hard for everyone; if you engage in negative self-talk ("I'm ugly/stupid/worthless and that's why X rejected me"), you hurt yourself but you can learn how not to do that. You may also put too much weight on others' opinions. That, too, can be overcome but it takes work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jack79 Posted September 20, 2003 Author Share Posted September 20, 2003 Thanks moimeme for ur advise ...ill look up books on selfesteem, Link to post Share on other sites
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