My girlfriend is constanly flirting with other men

[confuseddd]

Hmmm...trialbyfire...I think Dexter is right. I think he is simply stating facts. "Flirting period is a show of interest to someone that which you are attracted. Whether its light or not."

 

I TOTALLY agree with that statement. I don't think it has anything to do with his boundaries....I think his statement is a simple FACT!!!

 

In fact, when I flirt, which is really not my style, I do it to get attention AND to let someone know that I like them and think they are attractive. I don't do it much, because I don't need to feel that reaction...I don't need to "prove" myself. I know I'm hot! LOL...

[Trialbyfire]

confusedd, that's the difference between flirting lightly and flirting with intent. Flirting lightly is a form of friendliness.

 

Have you never flirted with same genders? I do it with women who I know won't take me the wrong way, as in take it as sexual interest. While women are fun, they lack many body parts and personality traits that make them of interest to me!

 

Each person flirts for different reasons with different boundaries. Sounds to me like you and Dexter are compatible boundary people, where Dexter and I wouldn't be compatible.

[You'reasian]

My girlfriend has a tendency to flirt with every guy she talks to! Whenever we are out she does it in front of me when men approach her.

Am I right in feeling angry or is this just harmless fun ?

 

It depends on what type of flirting it is. If its just silly, witty flirting - let is slide. If it gets into territory that feels uncomfortable, speak up.

[Dexter Morgan]

A few witty exchanges, jokes, smacking him in a joking way, naughty but non-directed jokes - yeah, that's light flirting.

 

 

 

Yes.

 

Well guess what, that is her sending signals to another guy that she is interested in him. Or at the very least attracted to him.

 

Either way, she is sending signals out to other men.

[Dexter Morgan]

confusedd, that's the difference between flirting lightly and flirting with intent. Flirting lightly is a form of friendliness.

 

You may be confusing being friendly with flirting. I can be friendly with the opposite sex without making excessive eye contact(more to the point bedroom eyes) and touching them.

[Trialbyfire]

You may be confusing being friendly with flirting. I can be friendly with the opposite sex without making excessive eye contact(more to the point bedroom eyes) and touching them.

The confusion or semantical difference between our definitions, is that in one situation, where you're flirting with intent, is that you promise more with your facial expression, body language and words. When flirting lightly, you promise nothing with boundaries about how far this interaction should go.

 

Non-subtle example of light-hearted flirting:

 

Other party: "You're hawt."

You: "Thanks. You're pretty hawt yourself."

Other party: "Maybe we can be hawt together."

You: "I suspect my b/f will disagree but you can ask him. ;)"

 

Flattery is exchanged, boundaries are maintained.

 

Non-subtle example of flirting with intent:

 

Other party: "You're hawt."

You: "Thanks. You're pretty hawt yourself."

Other party: "Maybe we can be hawt together."

You: "Maybe we can. We'll see! :love:"

 

This leads the other person on to believe there's more to be had.

[Dexter Morgan]

The confusion or semantical difference between our definitions, is that in one situation, where you're flirting with intent, is that you promise more with your facial expression, body language and words. When flirting lightly, you promise nothing with boundaries about how far this interaction should go.

 

Non-subtle example of light-hearted flirting:

 

Other party: "You're hawt."

You: "Thanks. You're pretty hawt yourself."

Other party: "Maybe we can be hawt together."

You: "I suspect my b/f will disagree but you can ask him. ;)"

 

Flattery is exchanged, boundaries are maintained.

 

But why even feel the need to tell the other person they are hot in the first place?

Sure a physical boundary might not of been crossed, and the knowledge that she has a bf has been made known.

 

But by reciprocating the attraction, the door is left open in the even she no longer has a bf. The signal is still sent.

 

 

Non-subtle example of flirting with intent:

 

Other party: "You're hawt."

You: "Thanks. You're pretty hawt yourself."

Other party: "Maybe we can be hawt together."

You: "Maybe we can. We'll see! :love:"

 

This leads the other person on to believe there's more to be had.

 

 

How about:

 

Other party: "You're hawt"

You: "thank you"

 

 

And leave it at that?

What is the purpose of telling the other person in return that they are also hot? To let the attraction be known.

 

As with the first situation, even though it was made known she has a bf, it was also made known that there is an attraction there. Sorry, I don't want a SO of mine going around professing her attraction to other guys, even if she does tell them she has a bf.

[Trialbyfire]

And leave it at that?

What is the purpose of telling the other person in return that they are also hot? To let the attraction be known.

 

As with the first situation, even though it was made known she has a bf, it was also made known that there is an attraction there. Sorry, I don't want a SO of mine going around professing her attraction to other guys, even if she does tell them she has a bf.

Once again Dexter, this is your boundary, not everyone else's. If couples are happy with varying degrees of boundaries, then who's to say what's right or wrong?

 

Btw, it's human nature to return a compliment. Try it sometime!

[Dexter Morgan]

Once again Dexter, this is your boundary, not everyone else's. If couples are happy with varying degrees of boundaries, then who's to say what's right or wrong?

 

 

I believe I did use the word "I" in my post. And never said it was right or wrong with regards to the way the OP should see this. Its my opinion.

 

I simply stated that flirting is a show of interest and attraction, not matter what the intented outcome.

 

Btw, it's human nature to return a compliment. Try it sometime!

 

Its not human nature to call someone else hot or get caught in the trap with someone to which you are attracted when they were fishing to see if there is interest there.

 

Compliments are one thing. Showing someone else you are attracted to them when you have a committed SO is quite another.

 

 

To the OP, bottom line. If it bothers you that she flirts because you obviously know why she is doing so, then talk to her about it. If she dismisses your feelings and continues to profess her interest via flirting to other guys, then she isn't worth your time.

 

find someone that will consider your feelings.