allina Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Something happened the other day that left me puzzled and frustrated. My SO and I talk about getting married freely and openly. We've looked at pictures of rings we both like online and discussed rings in some detail. The other day my SO and I were out shopping for clothes for him when he asked me to go in to two separate stores to try on rings. I didn't want to. I don't even feel a huge need to try rings on, I trust him and I know he has good taste and knows what I like. According to him it's like trying on clothes for an important occasion, you have to see a few things on to really know what you like. This is fine and I appreciate the importance he's putting on this. However, I felt uncomfortable with the idea of going in to some mall jewelry store with a ton of shopping bags and a drink in hand. Like, that's not how you do it and that we'd look like we were playing around, wasting the sales parson's time. It was just weird, then he got annoyed and confused. How do people do this? Is it rude to walk in to a store to just try on rings? Especially if you have no plan to buy a ring there? It feels tacky to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Well, I've been known to try on shoes at Nordie's and then go buy them on Zappo's... I think those mall stores would know you weren't ready to buy a ring right then and there, but I don't think they'd mind showing you what they have. I thought there was a jeweler in the city who can custom make the ring you (we! haha!) really want following that particular design you (we! haha!) really like? It makes more sense to go THERE to try on rings than Ben Bridges or whereever it was at the mall. Link to post Share on other sites
malibustacydoll Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 In your case I think your boyfriend just really wants to make sure he gets what you want and will make you happy. A lot of girls love shopping too so he may have thought that it is something you would have enjoyed or appreciated being able to run around a look at rings while he sees what you like. I don't see that as that weird just to get ideas-- I think it may be weird if the guy bought it right then and there. I think he needs to wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Author allina Posted January 6, 2009 Author Share Posted January 6, 2009 Well, I've been known to try on shoes at Nordie's and then go buy them on Zappo's... I think those mall stores would know you weren't ready to buy a ring right then and there, but I don't think they'd mind showing you what they have. I thought there was a jeweler in the city who can custom make the ring you (we! haha!) really want following that particular design you (we! haha!) really like? It makes more sense to go THERE to try on rings than Ben Bridges or whereever it was at the mall. Well he's going to find or did find a jeweler in the city to make the ring we want. He's one of those ant-mall/chain people, which is great. I just felt weird going in to Kay or something, I don't know *shrug* I wasn't sure if that was appropriate to just go try things. I do sort of want to try on the ring that I (we ) want I do that with shoes sometimes too, try them on then order from Piperlime In your case I think your boyfriend just really wants to make sure he gets what you want and will make you happy. A lot of girls love shopping too so he may have thought that it is something you would have enjoyed or appreciated being able to run around a look at rings while he sees what you like. I don't see that as that weird just to get ideas-- I think it may be weird if the guy bought it right then and there. I think he needs to wait. I appreciate that he cares a lot about getting the perfect ring I didn't think about it feeling weird to try rings on till he asked me that day. He is definitely not buying the ring on the spot though Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I wouldn't have had a problem in the world with it. Heck those places are always dead anyway. Breaks up the monotony for the sales people. Think of it as doing them a favor! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I'm not going to say it...YET...allina. I have to restrain myself from wanting to get all mooshy about this for you! You see couples in jewelry stores all the time, trying on rings but not necessarily buying, on the spot. I wouldn't worry about it. Better to know not only what you like but also what suits your hand. These bunnies are in this post for a reason, a reason I can't say yet! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
LostNLonely Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I wouldn't have had a problem in the world with it. Heck those places are always dead anyway. Breaks up the monotony for the sales people. Think of it as doing them a favor! Jerking someone's chain isn't doing them a favor, it's torture, bad enough their not going to get the sales comission from your sale, do they have to be teased too? Get a clue. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Jerking someone's chain isn't doing them a favor, it's torture, bad enough their not going to get the sales comission from your sale, do they have to be teased too? Get a clue. Yeah, they're all torn up inside when potential customers walk out the door. I don't see why you can't look, I think it's cute he's all eager. It really doesn't matter what the salesperson thinks, it's their job to help you out. Something you may see a picture of and think it gorgeous may look hideous when it's on your hand so I'd do a little window shopping around. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Jerking someone's chain isn't doing them a favor, it's torture, bad enough their not going to get the sales comission from your sale, do they have to be teased too? Get a clue. I have a clue do you? I doubt it..so let me enlighten you. Maybe if they were nice to me, I'd recommend them to someone dumb enough to actually buy a diamond from a store in the mall. Did that ever occur to you? That kind of thing goes on all the time. Are you not aware of that? My husband is a professional..in a profession where the usual practice is to charge for a consultation. He doesn't do that. He lets people take up his time for FREE. Why? Because even if they don't hire him right then, many times they remember him for doing that and hire him later on or they refer their friends and family. It happens every day. It's called good business..being smart...ever heard of that? Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 How do people do this? Is it rude to walk in to a store to just try on rings? Especially if you have no plan to buy a ring there? It feels tacky to me. No it's not rude. It really is important to see how different styles look like on your finger. Sometimes a style you thought you loved just looks awful on your finger. About a decade ago, when I was in college, I was in management of one of those major jewelry chains. The right sales associate will not care if you are just trying on rings...sometimes they can be genuinely helpful. And in fact Kay's actually brings in private jewelers to make 100% custom rings every few months and they can make absolutely anything under the sun. I think it really is a good idea to at least go in and see how different styles look like on your hand. Link to post Share on other sites
porter218 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Jerking someone's chain isn't doing them a favor, it's torture, bad enough their not going to get the sales comission from your sale, do they have to be teased too? Get a clue. Soooo not true. If she is really that worried about getting their hopes up then all she has to do is tell them what they are doing..."we are just trying to get an idea of what we like". That way nobody is getting false ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 The main reason couples go into jewelry stores is to try on rings. I think jewelers know that it kind of kills the surprise if the guy just buys the ring there, so it's probably not upsetting or pisses them off when someone comes in to just browse and then leave. I've gone into jewelry stores to get my jewelry inspected and have looked around at the various necklaces and things and never bought anything. (although they tried to get me too!) I don't think it's a huge deal, that's their job! Link to post Share on other sites
MiniMina Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 My fiance and I did that exact thing before Christmas. He had already picked out a ring, but when the jewelry store told them they actually couldn't make it, he decided to just take me to pick something out. We went to all the mall jewelry stores to try on rings only, I told him which ones I liked the most and he surprised me with one a few weeks later. All the sales people were helpful and when we told them we were just looking they usually gave us a business card to keep if we decided to come back. That is how they make their sales; most people don't go into a jewlery store and spend hundreds (sometimes thousands) on a ring without thinking about it for a few days first! Link to post Share on other sites
Posco_Proudfoot Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 My experience was the salespeople were very helpful and I DID buy a ring from the store. Why, you ask? One thing they know jewelry, I don't. We briefly stopped by a store one night during Christmas and looked. She really bragged about a set of rings, which I thought were stunning. About a month later I bought one based on their recommendation. If my wife didn't like it we got somewhere to take it back, has a warranty, can get it cleaned there for life, and I have the information needed to have the ring insured. I would've never spent $$$ on a engagement ring online, but that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I don't even feel a huge need to try rings on, I trust him and I know he has good taste and knows what I like. However, I felt uncomfortable with the idea of going in to some mall jewelry store with a ton of shopping bags and a drink in hand. How do people do this? Is it rude to walk in to a store to just try on rings? Especially if you have no plan to buy a ring there? It feels tacky to me. It is very appropriate for a number of reasons. First, pricing at jewelry stores is built in with high margins. They always have room to bargain down the price. Going to different places is very normal. Second, not only do you need to see how certain styles look on your finger, so does your SO. He may need to see which one he likes best on YOU. Third, going to jewelry stores is part of the excitement of buying the ring. It is not reasonable to expect that a couple will walk into one jewelry store, pick up one ring, and make a purchase. Years ago when we went looking, we visited a number of stores. And I think my wife went to even more on her own. Jerking someone's chain isn't doing them a favor, it's torture, bad enough their not going to get the sales comission from your sale, do they have to be teased too? Get a clue. Sorry. This is wrong. All retail personnel expect people to walk in and out without purchasing something. If it was easy, then the commission would not be worth earning. As someone who has worked in retail, I can say that we expect some price and product comparison. We may prefer every person be a buyer, but it is not realistic. No it's not rude. It really is important to see how different styles look like on your finger. Sometimes a style you thought you loved just looks awful on your finger. I agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 That kind of thing goes on all the time. Are you not aware of that? My husband is a professional..in a profession where the usual practice is to charge for a consultation. He doesn't do that. He lets people take up his time for FREE. Why? Because even if they don't hire him right then, many times they remember him for doing that and hire him later on or they refer their friends and family. It happens every day. I don't know ANY attorneys who charge for consultations. Your husband isn't so special in that regard. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I'm so excited for you, A! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Yeah, I just hate it when customers take time out of their day to call or stop by and consider engaging my services. Goes against everything I learned about business. Stay out of my store and don't call me! Seriously, OP, as a businessperson, especially as one who loves what he does, we enjoy all comers. If you even sense the slightest pushback, just walk out. The salespeople's job is to make you feel comfortable and to inform you about their product or service. Yes, they want to sell you something right then. Of course. The really good ones don't even think about that dynamic. They're too busy building rapport with you Enjoy your shopping. Jewelry is a lot of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I worked in a jewelry years ago. Groups of women would come by on their lunch hour to try on jewelry. No one expected them to buy. We did establish friendships and had fun with them oooing and ahhing over the jewelry. My main duty was bridal and gift registry so their trying on rings gave me the opportunity to let them know that with just a simple call we could have their gifts wrapped and shipped. Also, around Christmas and Birthdays when their husbands came around we could point out exactly what they were interested in. It is absolutely not rude... it is expected. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I worked in a jewelry years ago. Groups of women would come by on their lunch hour to try on jewelry. No one expected them to buy. We did establish friendships and had fun with them oooing and ahhing over the jewelry. My main duty was bridal and gift registry so their trying on rings gave me the opportunity to let them know that with just a simple call we could have their gifts wrapped and shipped. Also, around Christmas and Birthdays when their husbands came around we could point out exactly what they were interested in. It is absolutely not rude... it is expected. And if they develop a good friendship with the clerks, then they direct their husbands to THAT store and not to another. If they feel unaccepted, then they will never come back. I am guessing that if you went and asked to try on rings that they would bend over backwards to set as many as you wanted out. They know that people come back to places that make them feel welcome, and everyone has friends to whom they repeat their experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I don't know ANY attorneys who charge for consultations. Your husband isn't so special in that regard. Wow, are you serious? I'd say 90% of them do around our part of the country. So he actually IS special in that regard around here. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Last two lawyers I engaged (no rings involved ) provided one hour consultations on a complimentary basis. One is a business lawyer and the other is a estate planning lawyer and both are from a respected local firm which takes clients only by referral. This was within the last year. I would suspect the custom regarding consultations varies markedly from location to location and firm to firm. Link to post Share on other sites
nittygritty Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Try to think of it like purchasing a house or car or even clothes. You wouldn't feel bad about shopping around for what you liked the best and as potential buyers of an expensive item, the business that ultimately sells you that item stands to make a profit off of the deal. There could still be an element of surprise if you choose 3 to 5 of your favorite rings and your boyfriend bases his decision from the rings you've selected. Even though your aware that he's going to propose, he can still try to surprise you with "when" and "how" he proposes, in a romantic way. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Wow, are you serious? I'd say 90% of them do around our part of the country. So he actually IS special in that regard around here. Back east? Still never heard of that happening, except for Bankruptcy attorneys. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 Last two lawyers I engaged (no rings involved ) provided one hour consultations on a complimentary basis. One is a business lawyer and the other is a estate planning lawyer and both are from a respected local firm which takes clients only by referral. This was within the last year. I would suspect the custom regarding consultations varies markedly from location to location and firm to firm. I've never heard of charging for consultations, and laugh when attorneys boast about providing free consultations - it's the norm in California. Everyone from the Top 10 firms to the cheesy "CALL NOW! 1-800-INJURED!" attorneys provide free consultations. I think the same applies to ring shopping, real estate, cars... When making an investment like that, it only makes sense to "shop around," and those in their respective industry should (and do!) recognize and understand that. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts