powerstorm Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 Do you think religion makes a big impact on marriage, expecially when you want children. We kind of put it the side and never really talk about it, but I am worried it will be a problem at a later stage. Any suggestions Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 If you think it may someday be a problem, then you should discuss it with your partner. Most open-minded people can work around these types of issues but some people were raised in strict religious fashion and find it very difficult to compromise. As for any children, your only responsibility is to help give them direction so that when they attain the proper age they can figure out their spiritual needs for themselves. Yes, it's nice to take the kids to Mass or the Temple but when they get older they should be absolutely free to choose their own spiritual path. Forty years ago, it would have been a major scandal for a Catholic and a Jew to contemplate marriage. But we are living in 2003 and hopefully most people have changed their rigid and ignorant thinking. If the two of you love each other and are mature enough to get married, you will be able to get past these religious issues. However, if you were raised with a strict indoctrination into your particular religions (and unfortunately both Catholics and Jews can be pretty stuck on their beliefs) it may be more difficult to overcome this. By all means, talk about this with your partner as soon as possible. It's definitely something that can be resolved but you have to keep every promise in compromise that you make. Link to post Share on other sites
sonofhud Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 In the end, I believe it has a lot to do with it. I know people who are just different denominations (Baptist vs. Catholic) who have had problems because of it, but actually, most of the ones I know are still married. Different religions are another story. My uncle was Baptist and his wife Jewish...they ended up divorcing, but I seriously doubt it was strictly due to their religious differences. I guess it really depends on how important religion is to you, and whether you want to bestow your religious beliefs upon your children from an early age. I was raised in church so it was really a family thing for us to get together on Sundays and the whole family would go to church together, see my uncles and aunts there, and then go eat at grandparents afterwards. I'm sure it can work if you are both dedicated and make very detailed plans on what you will do when the children come along. Its a sensitive subject. Both of you are brought up to believe something, and one of you has to be wrong....or both....im trying to stay unbiased. If shes all ready avoiding talking about it, that could be a bad sign though. Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted September 20, 2003 Share Posted September 20, 2003 I know many Jews and Catholics who have successful, long-term (30+ yrs) marriages. I think the key is to communicate with your SO about this issue prior to marriage. There's a neat website for Jewish-Catholic couples in Chicago (guess there's a lot of them there): http://www.jcdg.org Link to post Share on other sites
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