tuscansun Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 I broke up with an ex (of almost 4 years) a year ago and it hasn't really been over. We were having a lot of problems and we decided to see other people...all the mess aside, I changed my mind about the whole thing a little too late, he had finally agreed to go out with a coworker of his who had been oggling him forever. He works at a very small office and as shallow as this sounds, to those of you who have been there youll understand, it would be very VERY messy if he dumped her now. He plans on moving back to my city which was his plan all along and we havent pre-decided to work things out then but we're still very much in love and know its a strong possibility things may get mended when he returns. Our year apart I dated a few guys, all flings, nothing stuck, I wanted my ex, period. Now I'm much more sane and open, however, I dont want to do what my ex has done and put an unsuspecting person in the middle of something. So the newest guy Ive been hanging out with Ive been very honest with about the situation and at first he didn't seem to care much. He made it seem like he was interested physically and was glad i wasn't one of those 'clingy girls' as he calls em. I dont talk about my ex much, I mean Im not that lame but every once in a while the new dude will ask and ill say this or that and he just shuts down on me its so irritatating...on the phone or through IM he's such a jackass and makes it seem like this is totally just friends with benefits and we're just hangin out but when we're together, making out or whatever, his body language is very needy. I ask, but again, he shuts down, and I get the 'what are you talking about, Im fine' when he's clearly not. Is he getting emotional? I dont get it. Also we've fooled around pretty wild but havent had sex and he seemed fine with it til recently, and ive noticed when he's in 'shut down mode' he gets more...sexual i guess but in a mean way. he'll txt something like, can you get up here and **** me...GUys help me out, I dont speak male:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
Sw3etdev1L Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I don't speak male either... but it's just clearly friends with benefits who is not in love and wants something else out of you. he is not open, because he is just physical and doesn't want to be involved with you.. You set your terms since the beginning, he is not in love...if not, he would open up. Confide in your, trust you and be interested in what you have to say. I mean, you clearly said you didn't want nothing serious with him because you were thinking about going back to your ex boyfriend. so.....he is just happy there, he'll be there until he finds another girl who might give him the home run. I mean, I might be wrong..but you don't even care for him either. you are just expecting your ex boyfriend to arrive, because you are need for love, because you are not getting it out of your free. My suggestion...if you don't feel fulfilled, just find out someone else, who will love you, will care for you, will show you who he is and since the beginning he'll open up. Link to post Share on other sites
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