no confidence

[James]

So I'm a healthy, normal college guy. Not fat, and I'm no Dawson, but I don't think I'm ugly. I like to go out to bars and have fun and stuff and I always keep my eye out for girls. Buy my problem is that I'm scared to death to approach a girl. It would be a major event for me to get up the guts to ask a girl out, which I haven't done in years. I don't know if I'm just nervous or lack confidence or what, but everytime I just think, "Why would they be interested in me?" It's made me loney to the point of depression latley. I don't know what to do and I hope somebody else has a bit of advice. Thanks.

[Verlan]

The very best way to get your confidence up and to meet girls is to befriend a group of ladies on a platonic basis. That means be nothing more than their buddy. When they know you well enough and you know them, then let them know to be on the lookout for a nice lady for you. I promise they'll come through.

 

If you go to a club with some ladies that are just friends and you see somebody you are interested in, have them birddog for you...let them go up to the lady and see if she is available, etc. Then one of your lady friends can introduce the girl to you.

 

If you can't find any lady friends real quick, let your sister(s) help you...or female neighbors...I mean you will have to do some work here.

 

You also need to know there are some really superficial ladies that place a great importance on physical appearance but there are many others who really consider personality, intelligence, and other characteristics to be more important. Go to a crowded shopping mall sometime and see how many ugly, fat and/or average looking men are with drop-dead gorgeous women.

 

Also, there are many match making services online. Most of the search engines have personals sections and America Online has a great service, KEYWORD: Photo personals You can meet, chat with and exchange Email with many ladies while you are getting up the confidence to ask for a meeting. Be very truthful about yourself but NEVER, EVER tell a woman you don't feel good about yourself. That will be a major turn-off.

 

With the Internet, there is no reason why any person, shy or with ZERO confidence, can't find dozens of members of the opposite sex of their dreams.

[Jesaco]

So I'm a healthy, normal college guy. Not fat, and I'm no Dawson, but I don't think I'm ugly. I like to go out to bars and have fun and stuff and I always keep my eye out for girls. Buy my problem is that I'm scared to death to approach a girl. It would be a major event for me to get up the guts to ask a girl out, which I haven't done in years. I don't know if I'm just nervous or lack confidence or what, but everytime I just think, "Why would they be interested in me?" It's made me loney to the point of depression latley. I don't know what to do and I hope somebody else has a bit of advice. Thanks.

Hi James,

 

Being nervous about meeting girls is perfectly normal. Do you like to dance? Or shoot pool, or play darts? When you're in a bar, and see a girl that you're attracted to, don't think about asking her out right then. Ask her to dance, or ask her if she'd like to shoot pool or play darts. I know you're nervous, but the main reason you're nervous is because you're afraid of being rejected. It'll be hard at first, but after a while, it will get easier.

 

The only thing you have to do is to keep telling yourself that you really are a guy who's worth getting to know. Force the negative thoughts about yourself out of your head.

 

Don't worry about what a girl may think of you. Be yourself and show her that you're interested in getting to know her. And if she says no, know that it's because of her own feelings and her own preferences that she says no.

 

Good luck,

 

Jesaco