Couture Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 Ok so i'm even more confused than i ever was about guys. I met this guy on saturday night we hit it off e.t.c. and he got my number and i met up with him on the monday and we went out for an hour or so. I didn't hear from him until i saw him last night in the same club, i spoke to him and he asked how i was e.t.c. and told me to wait where i was and he was going to give his friend his drink, i hung around for about 30 seconds and didn't see him return so i wondered off. We flirted throughout the night and he was chatting to this girl. When i next saw him he was on his own and i went to say hi, and then the weirdest thing happened he said usually he'd be a complete a**hole and kiss me even though he'd previously kissed this girl who he was talking to earlier in the evening he has known her for ages and she accused him of being a player and he didn't want to prove her right. But yet he told me he obviousley fancys me a lot and really wanted to kiss me but couldn't because of his 'morals', anyway we did kiss once or twice throughout the night and then he pulled away. And then the girl came up looked really cross and shouted something into his ear and i didn't see him again that night. I later found out he had also told my friend that he really really wanted to kiss me but had 'morals' have i just witnessed a guy who realises that maybe being a player sucks or he was trying to be someone he's not by upholding a pretence that he was a decent guy to this girl he'd known for ages? But obviousley failed because he ended up kissing me? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 ok, let me preface by saying i have rotten but very intelligent male friends, whom i love very much, but they are total cads. what distinguishes a player from a fickle guy is this: forethought. intent. skill. this particular line, this 'i wanna get with you, you make me wanna change myself, so i'll hold off' in the situation you describe, is a line which you would be stupid to fall for. it's a known player method - evidently it gets the suburban/private school chicks rather quickly. it means that he was also trying score with someone else but figured you'd be a good sucker down the line. think about this logically. you have decided that he is trustworthy because he was forthright about kissing another girl. re-examine your evidence. he claimed morals, then kissed you anyway, and the environment in which you see him in - the club - is the dwelling of the player. has he asked you out? has he made any overture except to spin you some meaningless words and fondle you? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 I agree with all Jenny has said, and will add that the older the guy in question is (he sounds pretty young), the worse this behavior looks. This is flakey, inconsistent and dishonest. Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 i wouldnt trust him, thats just coming from experience. ppl dont change really. if the chance comes up, they always go back to their old routines. Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheredonethat Posted September 20, 2003 Share Posted September 20, 2003 Sure they can change to Romeo overnight. They can also change right back player. Never ending cycle. Takes time and dedication to except a player. Deprogramming a persons past is difficult. Especially because you have no control. Other than to show love and understanding. If your lucky they'll eventually see and appreciate you dedication. Expect the unexpected. Patience is a necessity. Speaking from experience. Even if it all appears loddy doddy fine. Watch out when their is a fight. It is easier for a player to move on and come back because thats what they do. Bounce back and forth. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Jesse Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 Speaking as a former..."player" it is quite possible to change from Cad to Romeo overnight. However, keep a close eye on the guy. In a way acting like a player is a bit like a drug addiction. Very easy to slip back. Jesse -2 years into a solid monogamous relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
PaganDavid Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 I'm a male, when I was younger you could have considered me a"player" but now that I'm older,(43) every date I go on could be a potential relationship. I think my mother said it best. The only thing you can teach a man is to put the toilet seat back down. But I think we do get better with age Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 "The only thing you can teach a man is to put the toilet seat back down." Are you saying I'm supposed to be doing that??? Link to post Share on other sites
PaganDavid Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
tackleboxteddybear Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 If u saw him kiss another gal & he says he wanted to kiss you thats just cheezin it up.Dont go for him because as that gal found out hes a wanna be playa.He wants all the putang he can get but cleverly diguises it with his selfproclaimed moral code. Dont go that route & be his gal for a day week or month till he does it again.Find someone new.Just cause a guy hits it off with ya doesnt mean he lets his intent be known.& his friends will come to defend him to let his game go on. Take it from me in a sense Im the type o guy that hasnt had too many relationships & is slightly a walflower but I dont wanna go up to a gal & spout BS lies only to get um..... WEll just watch out for yourself a lil better than that.Dont slip up for him because thats what happens to so many gals I see round me. Treat yourself better than that. Hes already got a game goin with someother gal apparently but his "Morals" (cough) prevented him from kissin you.Find someone else cause if u stick around to long you may be next but then their is that .0001% chance he really is into you but dont even try to wait or give your hopes up.ITS MILARCKY Link to post Share on other sites
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