In love with best friend/housemate.

[Bicycle]

Hello everyone...

Here's my situation.

 

I'm a sophomore in college (19) and live in a house of 5: 3 females (including myself) and 2 males. The two girls who live with me have been my best friends since high school. I've known both of the guys (who are both 21) since high school as well, but only because we were in the same close social circle. We only recently became better friends when we all moved in together 6 months ago.

 

Since then, I have become inseparable from one of my male roommates. From the beginning we got along amazingly, and things progressed in such a way that not only are we taking all of our classes together, but at home we spend all of our time together too. I spend almost 24 hours a day with him, from early morning classes and other extracurriculars 'til almost 3 or 4 AM every night, when all of my roommates are asleep but we remain awake cuddling and watching movies. I've seen him every single day for the past six months. Literally. I spend more time with him than I do with my best girl friends, and the same goes for him.

In general, it feels like a void in my life that I didn't even know I had has been filled.

 

We have countless things in common, same belief systems, same interests, same outlook on life, and never find ourselves lacking in subjects of conversation, but silence is comfortable with him too. Every day I find out something new about him that makes me wonder how I could possibly have found someone who complements my personality/self so well. It weirds me out a little. But in a good way, of course.

 

I'm very physically attracted to him, and I think that he must be attracted to me as well...he compliments me subtly, although not extremely often, telling me that my "hair looks nice" or that my "dress looks good", or saying that we are "good-looking people." Things like that.

We cuddle almost every night and sometimes fall asleep spooning. Neither of us has even attempted to date anyone since we moved here...no hookups either. In the beginning, he would comment about girls, but I noticed that as we became closer he stopped mentioning them or even really paying much attention to them. These signs might suggest something but I'm never sure.

 

Twice we've been drunk and he became very affectionate/touchy, fondling me and such, but we've never kissed. I've come close, but out of fear I've never made a move. Being roommates, it's a weird situation, and it's so hard for me to put myself out there when there's a possibility that I've been reading the signs incorrectly.

 

He has met my family and seems to be trying to get on my parents' good sides. He makes it a point to find my parents and talk to them whenever he stops by to pick me up.

 

Recently we all came home for winter break (same town), and I ended up spending almost every day with him. One night, we were having one of our traditional "movie nights" and were cuddling, and he got a hard-on(...I know, that's a pretty good indicator..) in the middle of Star Trek, but we were in the middle of a couple of other friends and it was awkward so I pretended that I didn't notice, and he thought that I didn't notice. The next morning we hung out and we acted as we normally do.

Several days later we went alone to the movies (which we have never done before) and he complimented my dress when he picked me up. Before the movie he was ecstatic and cheerful, but once we got inside and sat down he started to act strangely and was fidgeting with his hands for literally the entire time. With all of the strange fidgeting that he was doing, I don't know how he was even paying attention to the movie.

He was kind of quiet when we walked out, and he wanted to go straight home. I was a little confused. Since then he has been a bit less affectionate, but it is hardly noticeable (..although I still noticed).

 

 

 

Well, I won't ramble anymore...the bottom line is, I want to be with him and I can't really imagine being with anyone else. He's my best friend now (and vice-versa, I have reason to believe) but I want to be both his best friend and his girlfriend.

 

 

I guess that what I want to know is whether you guys think that I should make a move..if that seems promising, or if it doesn't...a guy's perspective would be especially helpful too, although I feel like I need any advice I can get, male or female.

What are your thoughts/ideas? Has anyone been in this situation before? Is it possible that he isn't actually interested?

[Mickyfricky]

Here is what you need to do. Tell all of the other housemates that you need the house to yourself alone one night, when you know that he will be away for a bit. Cook dinner for two, put on a sexy outfit, and when he comes home, be in the other room. Put on some Marvin Gaye, lights dimmed, and walk into the room and look him directly in the eyes. Tell him you can't play around anymore. Eat together, then make that sweet sweet love. You might not even get through dinner. Be confident and sexy, let him know you want him.

[Charles1978]

From reading your post, it sounds like the guy would be very receptive. Step it up a notch or two... show him that you like him. As I've said before, some of us (myself included), need to be hit over the head with it. You've caught on to the signs. Chances are, he hasn't, but is probably just as interested as you.

[reservoirdog1]

I agree, you should make a move. IMHO, it shouldn't be as elaborate as what Micky suggested (though to be fair, if a girl I had a thing for did that for me, I'd be pretty damned blown away).

 

Next time the two of you are hanging out or watching TV alone, wait for an appropriate moment when you're cuddling. Make eye contact with him, and hold it. Then, kiss him. Don't try to take his tonsils out with the first kiss -- make it sort of a peck on the lips that you hold for a couple of seconds. The goal is to see if he's receptive to the idea. Bet you anything he will be. I wouldn't tell him you love him yet. But something like "I can't stop thinking about you" will get your message across, without crossing that threshold of forcing him to say "I love you" back.

 

Sounds like everything is in place... go for it.

[Jada]

Well the signs look very good for you, your so lucky to be in that situation.

I was just wondering that he might not have any experience and that is why he hasn't made a move on you. But I'm happy for you, I say take the initiative to lead it futher and ask him if he would be interested in going out with you.