Lucky555 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Guy A: First date he paid ($20) second date: i paid for my own. He never offered. I felt as though he should have paid. ($40) Guy B: First date he paid ($25) Second date he paid ($15) Third time i saw him he asked me if i had money so he could buy a snack while at the movies. I also drove and paid for the movie. ($35) I need to feel like he can be "the man" seems like i might be dating some cheap guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Shygirl15 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Both tried a bit though. But yes, still very cheap. How old are these guys BTW? Age has everything to do with it, you know. Link to post Share on other sites
RichGuy Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Guy A: First date he paid ($20) second date: i paid for my own. He never offered. I felt as though he should have paid. ($40) Guy B: First date he paid ($25) Second date he paid ($15) Third time i saw him he asked me if i had money so he could buy a snack while at the movies. I also drove and paid for the movie. ($35) I need to feel like he can be "the man" seems like i might be dating some cheap guys? Hey Lucky, just drop these douches and come out on a date with me. I'll pay for the roundtrip airfare, car rental, hotel room, entire outfit for dinner, dinner and wine, drinks after, and taxicab ride home, for you AND your chaperone. All incidentals included. Total bill should come in at no less than 4 figures. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lucky555 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 oh just to add Guy A actually thought he was going to get ME spending the night with him!!! hahahahaha after i paid for my own dinner and drink Guy A: 27 Guy B: 26 I like your offer rich guy! sounds like you know how to treat the ladies! its not like i want the guy to break his bank but come on this is crazy. I am an attractive young lady, I would think these men want to sweep me off my feet! I can see myself taking the guy out for food or something eventually but in the beginning its like "treat the lady like a princess" maybe then they have more of a chance of winning me over. So thanks for the comments, glad its not me thinking that this is the new dating scene or something! I have yet to go out on one single date where the guy takes me to a nice place and have a nice conversation with some great food! Neither of these guys FEED ME! Guy B: he never fed me, he bought drinks. Guy A: He actually didn't feed me either, he bought me drinks or played a game and payed. I hate having to drive a man around on more than one date too. IT SUCKS! Someday somehow someone will feed me and i will keep him! Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 The last guy I dated was new to Canada and didn't have a car or license- by the end of it I was tired of driving. He did make an effort to pay often, and did take a train to see me- so I was alright with it for a while. I am all about going dutch on a first date- but if a guy never pays...That's just cheap to be sure! Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Don't you have a job or money of your own? There's no place for this type of sexism in a modern world. Is your time more valuable then theirs? Are you doing them a favour by going out with them? Are you selling a service? Are men who buy you things more attractive? Link to post Share on other sites
Confusedalways Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I don't mind paying after a few dates, but I feel the first few should at least be split, at the very least. I mean, they should at least OFFER on the first and second date, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
V.Vixen Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 To me, it;s all about them OFFERING to pay. A lot of times I will pay or offer, but is we are on less than the third date, he better offer, and give me at least a little resistance when I offer. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I think the person who asks should be the first to pay BUT the guy should attempt to pay for the first few dates. After awhile the girl should offer or split the food and the other pay the tip. Now if her fellow sister (waitress) gave her the bill and won't give me the bill; that is another story. Link to post Share on other sites
Capricciosa Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 It feels weird to me if a guy pays all the time. Though the gesture is welcome near the beginning. Though I think a split on the first date is the best bet. You're checking each other out, after all. Maybe we're less traditional about these things in Canada? Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 The man should pay, even if you're just going to have one get together and then never see each other again. It's just a courtesy. Doesn't matter how old you are or the nature of the get together (ex. dinner and a movie vs. a 5 star restaurant). Period. If he doesn't, then he's cheap with his money and in other ways. Don't believe me? Wait and see. Link to post Share on other sites
d0ll Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 If he doesn't pay for AT LEAST the first 2 dates .. it's an automatic turn off .. if he can't afford to pay then he shouldn't have asked you out in the first place Link to post Share on other sites
fromfaraway Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Guy A: First date he paid ($20) second date: i paid for my own. He never offered. I felt as though he should have paid. ($40) Guy B: First date he paid ($25) Second date he paid ($15) Third time i saw him he asked me if i had money so he could buy a snack while at the movies. I also drove and paid for the movie. ($35) I need to feel like he can be "the man" seems like i might be dating some cheap guys? Sounds very cheep to me. Not all guys behave the same way. However, when we meet a number of people of a given category (men here) who behave a certain we start to wonder and make generelizations. It is just the way the human mind works. I personally would pay for almost all the times when I go out with a girl I am interested in. I may let her pay only when I am broke and if I have been dating her for a long time. I am an oriental guy, and this is a cultural expectation I gladly like to live with fromfarawayyyyy Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 You sound as cheap as they do. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Get rid of those losers, plenty guys who will pay and wouldn't DREAM of making you pay, simply because they really like you and want to impress you. And let's face it what woman who is super interested in a guy doesn't want to be impressed by him? And you know why women want to be impressed? Because we simply have more options...there I said it. Now if you are not interested in the guy I can see why you would be ok to go dutch you just want to get the hell outta there.. Link to post Share on other sites
runner Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 dunno if i like this whole idea of the guy expected to pay for everything. i know, and have met, a lot of women who make way more money than i do - and i'm not intimidated by that in any way. i prefer being romantic without having to pull out my wallet. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 And you know why women want to be impressed? Because we simply have more options...there I said it. Greater than 50% of the population is comprised of women. Statistically speaking, you can't possibly have more options. Plus, only hookers, strippers, and gold-diggers are impressed by money. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Greater than 50% of the population is comprised of women. Statistically speaking, you can't possibly have more options. Plus, only hookers, strippers, and gold-diggers are impressed by money. Clearly you don't date much and have a crocodile in your pocket. But thanks for coming out. TRUST me we have more options. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Besides EVEN if your silly stat had any bearing at all, if out of 50% of the female population half of them were married or taken and out of the male population only 10% is then what happens to your ratio? Keep trying though. Link to post Share on other sites
aamber Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Oh man.. I once dated a guy who refused to pay for anything, for dates he'd take me to burger king and only cause he had freebie coupons Losers.. I honestly do not mind to pay for part of the date. Things are so expensive now a days, last weekend we went out spent 18.00 on movie tickets (I paid) and $25.00 on dinner (he paid) So we like to split things up. But if we're going out just to one place he'll usually offer to pay. Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 The date-o-meter has a way of helping determine if your date has gone well or not based on who pays. Here are some examples: 1. Your date doesn't pay. Well if you're a woman in this scenario, you should probably consider this to be a pretty bad sign. Moreso then a man should anyway. It has nothing to do with equailty rather it has to do with society, chivalry etc. If you're doing all the driving as well, the guy could be a real deadbeat. If you're a guy in this scenario, you're pretty much stuck with whatever happens, happens. She could be really into you, and signs are looking good if she has you pay for everything because she might feel guilty otherwise if she really didn't like you much. 2. You go Dutch This one is conditional (and no offense to you Dutch people out there, I honestly don't know where that term started) If it was agreed upon before the date started, then no worries. Sometimes people like to agree to go dutch on a first date, that way if no sparks are flying, no one party is out any more than the other. It's logical and reasonable. If it was decided at the end of the date, for you guys this is a bad sign. Your date may feel guilty that there aren't any sparks at all and not want to feel like they've taken you for something. For you women, this could be a mildly bad sign, or could mean nothing at all. Some guys are sensitive to the equality issue, other guys are more into chivalry and being old fashioned. Can't really make anything of it other than he might be a cheapskate... maybe. 3.Your date pays for everything, tips, extra drinks, the works. For you guys this could be a very good sign or a very bad sign if its decided this way at the end of the date. If you hear "Oh I'll take care of it..." then she could be either really interested in you and going out of her way, or feeling very bad that she doesn't like you at all and wants to save face somehow. Gotta rely on other cues to get your answer there. For you women, well, it could be the old fashioned chivalry thing, which is still commonplace and perfectly acceptable, OR the guy could be really desperate. Again, additional clues are needed to determine. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Most decent guys who "get it" are going to offer and insist on paying in the early stages. It's chivalry and they understand what it's about and they do not resent women for accepting or feel the need to call them hookers or golddigers because they like that. When they start to see each other frequently and romance develops the woman starts treating the man, if you are that hung up on whether a woman is using for a measely drink or movie ticket then maybe you don't have that much confidence in your personal abilities that you feel that a woman would only be using you for your money. A guy who has experience can tell a goldigger a mile away and it doesn't take him 3 dates and expensive bills to know this he knows after the one date. If he proceeds with a woman like it's 'cuase he is looking for a golddigger. Motive2002 your post was BANG on: When I feel bad that I am not into the guy but I like him as a person I offer to pay my way, I feel he should not have to pay for me since there is no potential for more. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Clearly you don't date much and have a crocodile in your pocket. Clearly you don't know me and I have no idea what the last part of your sentence means. Besides EVEN if your silly stat had any bearing at all, if out of 50% of the female population half of them were married or taken and out of the male population only 10% is then what happens to your ratio? Keep trying though. If 50% of females are married and only 10% of males are then that means, on average, each of those men are married to five women. Since polygamous marriages make up a very small percentage of all marriages then, again, that can't possibly be the case. Keep trying yourself. (And they say men have huge egos.) Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Disclaimer: The date-o-meter has a tendency to malfunction if you're in the presence of a real piece of scum. One time I went out with a gal and her friend. I paid for drinks and food and picked up the tab for both of them. I was either feeling really generous, or I left my brain (or balls) in the car. I dunno, I think alcohol had something to do with it. Common sense will make up for what the date-o-meter can't pick up. Some women just love making guys spend money on them, with no guilt, remorse or any intent on getting to know you better. Then they justify this behavior with the whole "all men are pigs anyway" mantra. The date-o-meter is not responsible for lack of funds or getting your rent money in on time after you just blew your wad over some giggly girls that love to bat their eyes enough for you to open your wallet. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Most decent guys who "get it" are going to offer and insist on paying in the early stages. It's chivalry and they understand what it's about and they do not resent women for accepting or feel the need to call them hookers or golddigers because they like that. And decent women don't mind offering to pay. Women should stop pissing and moaning about equality if they're not willing to put their money where their mouth is. Link to post Share on other sites
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