sally4sara Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 But you're measure of attractiveness seems to be all about being financially rewarded. Like you said earlier, your value is defined by how much someone is willing to pay for you. It seems one-sided, unfair, and mercenary - ie not romantic in the slightest to me. Also I don't read Spider-Man anymore ever since he did that deal with Mephisto to undo his marriage to Mary-Jane. I guess in the world of hookers, its better to be a high priced one? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 But you're measure of attractiveness seems to be all about being financially rewarded. Like you said earlier, your value is defined by how much someone is willing to pay for you. It seems one-sided, unfair, and mercenary - ie not romantic in the slightest to me. Also I don't read Spider-Man anymore ever since he did that deal with Mephisto to undo his marriage to Mary-Jane. It's measure of appleal we all look for those on a first date no matter how "secure" one tries to pretend to be we all need reassurance. Which is why I have also made it clear that if the appeal is not there for me I won't accept the guy paying because it would send him a message that I am reciprocating his interest. Of course some seem to conviniently leave that small detail out. But feel free to look up and read it again. I have bolded it for your viewing pleasure and ease. I'm all about making your experience just as worth while. Heck look at how much entertainment I have provided you single handedly on a computer imagine how much better I am in person. You guys are getting too wound up. Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 But you're measure of attractiveness seems to be all about being financially rewarded. Like you said earlier, your value is defined by how much someone is willing to pay for you. It seems one-sided, unfair, and mercenary - ie not romantic in the slightest to me. Also I don't read Spider-Man anymore ever since he did that deal with Mephisto to undo his marriage to Mary-Jane. Yeah, I see this as well. I prefer to have a guy pay for a 1st date..maybe a 2nd depending on how we are getting along and what kind of date it is. I think modern men want women to offer to pay for themselves, but I don't do that on a first date. My boyfriend paid for our first date without any hesitation. During our 2nd, we went to a restaurant and I bought us a few drinks while we were waiting and then he paid for dinner. He is one of those modern men who like a girl to offer to pay. I used to have a huge problem with it, as I was a student and had little spending money. After many fights we worked it out and he realized that I wasn't trying to take advantage of him. Tomcat, I think people are challenging you because you seem to feel that you are "entitled" to be paid for. That a guy should pay for you because he finds you attractive. Those are not the reasons why I prefer a guy to pay for the first date or second date. I prefer it because he asked for the date, therefore it is polite and gentlemenly to pick up the check. I also don't like to go dutch, I think it's nice for one person to treat the other. Then you both feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I guess in the world of hookers, its better to be a high priced one? I'm really sorry you don't feel you are worth more than equating yourself to a hooker if you dare to enjoy the attention a potential candiate places on you, all be it in the form or a measly dinner. That's your problem. SO not mine! I'm kind of hungry let's see who's on my speed dial... Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I'm really sorry you don't feel you are worth more than equating yourself to a hooker if you dare to enjoy the attention a potential candiate places on you, all be it in the form or a measly dinner. That's your problem SO not mine! I'm kind of hungry let's see who's on my speed dial... I live in the adult world. Adults pay for themselves. Children and hookers get paid for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Which is why I have also made it clear that if the appeal is not there for me I won't accept the guy paying because it would send him a message that I am reciprocating his interest. Of course some seem to conviniently leave that small detail out. But feel free to look up and read it again. I have bolded it for your viewing pleasure and ease. I'm all about making your experience just as worth while. Your laboured sarcasm is unnecessary, as that detail does less to disprove any notion of freeloadery as an admission that something is for sale, but you are 'honorable' enough not to take payment when it is not on the market. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I *kinda* understand what TC is getting at. Everyone has their "currency" (to borrow a term from Dr. Phil ). For some, it's actual money. For me, it's my time. An excerpt (brilliant, I think): Currency is what matters to people. It's the reward that motivates people to act in particular ways—to engage in certain behaviors and to avoid others. If you want to influence a man, you need to know what he treasures. Maybe it's money, time, his car. Maybe it's his daughter from a previous marriage. Maybe it's some secret or fear he has guarded closely all his life. If you want to know how a man really feels, pay attention to how he treats what he values. Whatever it is, if he gives you what is precious to him (whether you value it or not), he has performed an act of love that may mean much more to him than any words he might say. How This Affects You When people expect A but get B, they're upset. When they expect B and in fact get B, they're not upset. Exactly the same outcome, yet two very different reactions. So many women are upset about what their men do or don't do—not because what they do or don't do is wrong, but because it is different from what the women expected. Women express emotion verbally, and men express it by using their currency. The result is the same; the reaction is different. http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/omag_200306_phil/2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Everyone has their "currency" (to borrow a term from Dr. Phil ). For some, it's actual money. For me, it's my time.: Me too. Buy me a sandwich. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 candidate, TomCatt? lol you make it sound like a job. and trying to laugh off other people's opinion doesn't make you sound like anything but a fool who can't argue with valid points. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Your laboured sarcasm is unnecessary, as that detail does less to disprove any notion of freeloadery as an admission that something is for sale, but you are 'honorable' enough not to take payment when it is not on the market. Neither does the oxymoron of your sarcastically ladended statement do much in terms of supporting your claim that I am a freeloader. I was just following your lead, I thought you would understand me better if I spoke in your language. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Neither does the oxymoron of your sarcastically ladended statement do much in terms of supporting your claim that I am a freeloader. I was just following your lead, I thought you would understand me better if I spoke in your language. if you want the man to pay all/most of the time then unfortunately it does make you a freeloader. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 if you want the man to pay all/most of the time then unfortunately it does make you a freeloader. If you want to go back and read the entire thread to see where I actually stand on the issue it wouldn't make you a stupid, it would actually bring you up to speed. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 If you want to go back and read the entire thread to see where I actually stand on the issue it wouldn't make you a stupid, it would actually bring you up to speed. I read it. Wanting someone to pay for you to make you feel 'special'? yeah right. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I live in the adult world. Adults pay for themselves. Children and hookers get paid for. Sig Heil!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I'll re-post, to get you boys' attention: Currency is what matters to people. It's the reward that motivates people to act in particular ways—to engage in certain behaviors and to avoid others. If you want to influence a man, you need to know what he treasures. Maybe it's money, time, his car. Maybe it's his daughter from a previous marriage. Maybe it's some secret or fear he has guarded closely all his life. If you want to know how a man really feels, pay attention to how he treats what he values. Whatever it is, if he gives you what is precious to him (whether you value it or not), he has performed an act of love that may mean much more to him than any words he might say. http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazi..._200306_phil/2 Thus, when a man values money, and spends money on her, she feels special. THIS IS NATURAL. If he's incredibly busy and really values his time, and chooses to spend quality time with her, she feels special. If he values an activity, and gives up a day of that activity to be with her, she feels special. If he adores his daughter, and includes the woman in his plans with his daughter, she feels special. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I'll re-post, to get you boys' attention: Thus, when a man values money, and spends money on her, she feels special. THIS IS NATURAL. If he's incredibly busy and really values his time, and chooses to spend quality time with her, she feels special. If he values an activity, and gives up a day of that activity to be with her, she feels special. If he adores his daughter, and includes the woman in his plans with his daughter, she feels special. yeah so use it as an excuse for your free meal all the time. women want to feel feminine sometimes and equals at other times, depending on what suits them. a lot of women I've dated expected me to pay for everything all the time. the terms kept woman and gold digger comes to mind. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Thus, when a man values money, and spends money on her, she feels special. THIS IS NATURAL. If he's incredibly busy and really values his time, and chooses to spend quality time with her, she feels special. The problem is, some women could give a rat's ass about a man giving up his quality time unless there's free food and drink in it for them. And then go around calling men 'cheap' if they don't give give give while they take take take. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I'll re-post, to get you boys' attention: Thus, when a man values money, and spends money on her, she feels special. THIS IS NATURAL. If he's incredibly busy and really values his time, and chooses to spend quality time with her, she feels special. If he values an activity, and gives up a day of that activity to be with her, she feels special. If he adores his daughter, and includes the woman in his plans with his daughter, she feels special. Sorry meant to respond to that. Interesting. You know what is especially intersting about that is that the types of men who don't value money also won't be too keen on paying since they are more than likely struggling financially, hence their lack of responsibility financially, and overall social stability. Now why would I want to fall in love with a struggling lazy azz bum? If a man in his 35-40's which is what I typically go for is not financially stable he has some serious baggage which I am not willing or remotely ready to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Guy A: First date he paid ($20) second date: i paid for my own. He never offered. I felt as though he should have paid. ($40) Guy B: First date he paid ($25) Second date he paid ($15) Third time i saw him he asked me if i had money so he could buy a snack while at the movies. I also drove and paid for the movie. ($35) I need to feel like he can be "the man" seems like i might be dating some cheap guys? Sorry to hear this. I'm by no means a man of wealth, but I would prefer to pay for the woman when we go out. Some women get defensive when I pull out my wallet and start to pay; in fact one woman would actually argue and pay her part - so I took it she's the ultra independent type - and this proved to be the case. Anywho, I took a lady friend of mine out for dinner as a going away present. We were just friends and colleagues. Nothing more. Took her out for Japanese food - and we enjoyed a huge meal; it was hard to finish all of it. Including a fried banana dessert that we had to argue about who was going to take the last bite! The bill was about $50. I paid for it. She asked if I was sure and I said yes, because this was her going away present. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 a lot of women I've dated expected me to pay for everything all the time. the terms kept woman and gold digger comes to mind. Here I'm going to fill you in on a little secret: If a lot of the women you date all the time expect you to pay for them ALL the time they must feel that is all you are worth to them, the problem is not with them it's with you. You keep dating them fully knowing you are being played. STOP IT! YOU can't tell the difference between a decent woman who is genuinely interested in getting to know you and willing to reciprocate, from a blood sucking whore. Ever think of that? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 yeah so use it as an excuse for your free meal all the time. ME? Free meal ticket? Watch your mouth. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Here I'm going to fill you in on a little secret: If a lot of the women you date all the time expect you to pay for them ALL the time they must feel that is all you are worth to them, the problem is not with them it's with you. You keep dating them fully knowing you are being played. STOP IT! YOU can't tell the difference between a decent woman who is genuinely interested in getting to know you and willing to reciprocate, from a blood sucking whore. Ever think of that? thanks for making assumptions. I can tell the self respecting ones from the leeches, thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 ME? Free meal ticket? Watch your mouth. That couldn't be farther from the truth. well okay, you did after all say you valued the time your man gives you more. I was referring to the woman who are on about being feminine and feeling special . Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 ME? Free meal ticket? Watch your mouth. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Have you EVER accepted a man paying for you on a first or second date? Have you even enjoyed it? Well if you answered yes to any or all of those questions then you could be at risk for being a deemed as a freeloading meal ticket whore, by some men and feminatzis around here of course. Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Have you EVER accepted a man paying for you on a first or second date? Have you even enjoyed it? Well if you answered yes to any or all of those questions then you could be at risk for being a deemed as a freeloading meal ticket whore, by some men and feminatzis around here of course. i love it when women like you label self-respecting women as feminatzis. Link to post Share on other sites
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