guys who dont pay

[Tomcat33]

 

If I had I guess I'd know?

 

yeah I guess you would.

 

I'm thinking you're still riled up and not wanting to soften up like I was trying to do since you pointed out that insults where getting nowhere.

 

 

:laugh: Yeah I see how you soften things up, you wanna play like that girlfriend? Bring it on! I can play too, I can soften things too! But let's not and say we did shall we?

 

Good for you that you are willing to take on a big project like supporting a grown man at this stage in your life, especially the second time around after a failed marriage until he gets his shet together to have a decent job and be on his own two feet. I'm not willing to do that. Maybe 10 yrs ago not now, no way! I want to spend reasonable time with my mate enjoying all that the world has to offer, you can't do it with a knickle and diming financial wreck who is still looking to get on his feet. I am not talking wealthy guys, I am talking someone who is comfrotable.

 

 

SO what's the best way to weed out men who are not financially stable amongst other things? See how they act in the first days of courting, just as they can weed me out if need be.

[carhill]

OK, if he owns enough houses that he can cook dinner for you at a different one every night of the week, that'd work?

[sugar_and_spice]

I can't believe this thread is still going on.

[sweetbrokensoul]

I can't believe this thread is still going on.

 

I was just thinking the same thing...crazy lol....people got really worked up over this one.....I think it all comes down to your opinion of "that" first date...hell, i dont know...

[sally4sara]

yeah I guess you would.

 

 

 

 

:laugh: Yeah I see how you soften things up, you wanna play like that girlfriend? Bring it on! I can play too, I can soften things too! But let's not and say we did shall we?

 

Good for you that you are willing to take on a big project like supporting a grown man at this stage in your life, especially the second time around after a failed marriage until he gets his shet together to have a decent job and be on his own two feet. I'm not willing to do that. Maybe 10 yrs ago not now, no way! I want to spend reasonable time with my mate enjoying all that the world has to offer, you can't do it with a knickle and diming financial wreck who is still looking to get on his feet. I am not talking wealthy guys, I am talking someone who is comfrotable.

 

 

SO what's the best way to weed out men who are not financially stable amongst other things? See how they act in the first days of courting, just as they can weed me out if need be.

 

I think I know whats going on here.

 

You've scanned through old posts of mind and read comments I've made about my ex husband and his current antics since we split. Hence your comments.

I married him at 19 years of age. at that age, I was less than a year out of a street gang. I did not have a normal teen experience. But he and I have been split for about nine years now. What he does now is beyond my control. Its who he is and who he is led to that failure. What does it have to do with this topic?

 

I also figured out why you've gone personal and then did the same. Since I've never been an OW, I don't read those threads. I peeked a couple of times and realized I was out of my element. I didn't know, okay? I'm sure it was a painful experience to you.

 

What I'm saying is chill out girl. I didn't know about your past and I made no intentional personal attack. I am sorry if you felt I was going personal.

 

My fiance isn't like my ex. He isn't an alcoholic or chronically unemployed due to alcohol abuse. He would never try to con an old woman out of her disability checks or kidnap my son. And I was not trying to brag about anything. I was trying to show you I do traditional things (like currently working less to be home when my son gets home and PTA stuff) to so you wouldn't feel like my point was just about the feminazi stuff. Normal women play fair too. Beyond that it was to admit too that I was getting worked up over a subject that doesn't even apply to me anymore.

 

Sorry again if I accidently brought up old pain.

[kdark]

Really?? I've never heard of that one before. So you insisted on paying for the date in order to force the guy to be more honest and transparent with you?? Sorry, I'm not following your logic here.

 

Easy. Here's how you do it. When a guy offers to take you to a fancy restaurant, you say "No, I really like this cheap burger joint down the street. Let's go there!" It shows him that you aren't impressed with his fat wallet, and it is going to put him off guard. Any guy with half a brain can "wow" you at a 5 star restaurant with the fine wine, pleasant atmosphere, expensive appetizers, courteous waiters, and romantic music.

 

But the guys who can "wow" you at Mcdonalds with the cheap, greasy food, the unfriendly cashiers, the screaming children, and the dirty floors, they had to try MUCH harder, and had to win you with their personality, NOT their wallet.

 

And isn't it interesting that he could not remain content making less money than you? See, it's not us that has the problem with the woman paying for dates - It's the GUYS! The ones I've gone out with wouldn't let me pay, even when I offer to. It's a pride thing with them, I think.

 

You aren't understanding how guys work. It is an amazing thing when a girl offers to pay for everything. It makes me feel like I am valued for who I am, not what's in my bank account. You are just saying that it is a pride thing to justify free meals. I offer to pay simply because it is my way of saying I enjoyed your company, and don't want money to be an issue that is hanging over your head the whole night. I do this with friends, family, colleagues, and dates.

 

I understand where you girls are coming from when you want a guy to pay for you, saying it makes you feel more feminine and valued. But don't try to say that it shows whether a guy is cheap or generous. It does neither. There are many other easily readable signs that a guy is cheap or generous, you just have to probe a little more, get to know the person.

 

Star Gazer had the right idea with the currency thing for men, although I don't like the idea of saying a guy having to give up something in order to show he cares. It's when a guy let's you into his world, includes you in his interests, whether it be money, baseball, art, or his children.

[OpenBook]

Easy. Here's how you do it. When a guy offers to take you to a fancy restaurant, you say "No, I really like this cheap burger joint down the street. Let's go there!" It shows him that you aren't impressed with his fat wallet, and it is going to put him off guard.

 

But I'm not going out with him to "show" him anything. I have nothing to prove to him. And it's his own responsibility to live within his means anyway! If I have to mother him about his finances right off the bat, then there's not much hope for the relationship to begin with.

 

Any guy with half a brain can "wow" you at a 5 star restaurant with the fine wine, pleasant atmosphere, expensive appetizers, courteous waiters, and romantic music.

 

Well, I've never been out (and wouldn't) with a guy who had "half a brain." So that problem is solved.

 

But the guys who can "wow" you at Mcdonalds with the cheap, greasy food, the unfriendly cashiers, the screaming children, and the dirty floors, they had to try MUCH harder, and had to win you with their personality, NOT their wallet.

 

I've gone out with rich men and I've gone out with poor men... and they all tried equally as hard to impress me with their personality, regardless of how much they were spending on me. So I disagree that a man would try harder at a McDonald's than he would at a 5-star restaurant.

 

And if a guy WAS relying solely on a 5-star restaurant to impress me, he is normally radioactive anyway. I'd spot 'em a mile away, and would discourage them from getting near me in the first place.

 

You aren't understanding how guys work. It is an amazing thing when a girl offers to pay for everything. It makes me feel like I am valued for who I am, not what's in my bank account. You are just saying that it is a pride thing to justify free meals. I offer to pay simply because it is my way of saying I enjoyed your company, and don't want money to be an issue that is hanging over your head the whole night. I do this with friends, family, colleagues, and dates.

 

Sorry, I'm not buying it (pardon the pun ). This has NOT been how guys I knew behaved IRL. They always want to pay for the meal or activity, and wouldn't let me when I offered to help - many of them actually act insulted when I do offer, as if I'm trying to tell them that I don't believe they're up to the task, less of a man or something. The only times when they did agree to split the bill, was when they were trying to illustrate to me in a loud & clear way (without actually having to say anything) that they were only interested in me as a friend. I have NEVER had the experience of them expecting me to pick up the entire tab.

 

I understand where you girls are coming from when you want a guy to pay for you, saying it makes you feel more feminine and valued. But don't try to say that it shows whether a guy is cheap or generous. It does neither. There are many other easily readable signs that a guy is cheap or generous, you just have to probe a little more, get to know the person.

 

Let me try this again. I said guys WHO COMPLAIN about having to pay for dates, are usually stingy in other areas as well, and I want nothing to do with them.

[The Collector]

But I'm not going out with him to "show" him anything. I have nothing to prove to him.

 

 

I've gone out with rich men and I've gone out with poor men... and they all tried equally as hard to impress me with their personality, regardless of how much they were spending on me. So I disagree that a man would try harder at a McDonald's than he would at a 5-star restaurant.

 

So you have nothing to prove to the man, but he should be trying to impress you? Why should it be that way?

 

Let me try this again. I said guys WHO COMPLAIN about having to pay for dates, are usually stingy in other areas as well, and I want nothing to do with them.

 

Some maybe. And some, including some women in this very thread, don't care for the practice for other reasons. Belittle the issue by labelling objectors as 'complainers' but here on this thread we are discussing whether the practice is out-dated, unfair and sexist. You don't have to date anyone you don't want to, but if you're defence of the idea is that it weeds out stingy men, I'd question why you think a relationship should revolve around a man's genrosity to you, while you are required to do little more than sit in judgment eating and drinking at someone else's expense. And again, you're unwillingness to pay your fair share makes you the 'stingy' one in my book.

[OpenBook]

So you have nothing to prove to the man, but he should be trying to impress you? Why should it be that way?

 

Because a man is looking to receive sex, or have a woman take care of him, or both. That's what HE'S in it for. He's looking for a caregiver - giver of sex, giver of laundering, giver of cooking for him, giver-upper of her career/interests for him--or at least putting all she treasures on a back-burner in order to make him the center of her life. I would have to give up a lot more than he would, in order to enter a relationship with him. The whole point of dating is having the man convince the woman that he is worthy of being taken care of. There, I said it.

 

Some maybe. And some, including some women in this very thread, don't care for the practice for other reasons. Belittle the issue by labelling objectors as 'complainers' but here on this thread we are discussing whether the practice is out-dated, unfair and sexist. You don't have to date anyone you don't want to, but if you're defence of the idea is that it weeds out stingy men, I'd question why you think a relationship should revolve around a man's genrosity to you, while you are required to do little more than sit in judgment eating and drinking at someone else's expense. And again, you're unwillingness to pay your fair share makes you the 'stingy' one in my book.

 

Well then, since you have such a low opinion of me, and I avoid men like you IRL like the plague, we don't have a problem here. Never the twain shall meet.

[The Collector]

Because a man is looking to receive sex, or have a woman take care of him, or both. That's what HE'S in it for. He's looking for a caregiver - giver of sex, giver of laundering, giver of cooking for him, giver-upper of her career/interests for him--or at least putting all she treasures on a back-burner in order to make him the center of her life. I would have to give up a lot more than he would, in order to enter a relationship with him. The whole point of dating is having the man convince the woman that he is worthy of being taken care of. There, I said it.

 

Women don't like sex? Aren't both parties looking for similar things regarding care-giving, etc? You act as if entering a relationship is a huge sacrifice and that the man is the only one who will benefit. That's absurd.'Giver of laundering'? I'm quite capable of doing my own thanks.

 

Well then, since you have such a low opinion of me, and I avoid men like you IRL like the plague, we don't have a problem here. Never the twain shall meet.

 

I don't have a low opinion of you, you might be a wonderful person, but that's not the point. Can't you see that many people find something distasteful about a man buying a woman's company? To each his own, of course, but this thread is for discussion, and it won't be very illuminating if everyone just agrees to disagree. And it's worth noting that the thread started with a post attacking and criticizing men. I have never started a 'gold-digger' thread, but have responded to many when I was tired of double-standards and men being called cheap, stingy or losers if they don't agree with 'the man pays.'

[james123]

Because a man is looking to receive sex, or have a woman take care of him, or both. That's what HE'S in it for. He's looking for a caregiver - giver of sex, giver of laundering, giver of cooking for him, giver-upper of her career/interests for him--or at least putting all she treasures on a back-burner in order to make him the center of her life. I would have to give up a lot more than he would, in order to enter a relationship with him. The whole point of dating is having the man convince the woman that he is worthy of being taken care of. There, I said it.

looks like you're stuck in the 1950's.

Not all men demand that the woman gives up her career and interests for him. Most men can cook these days. Some actually look for an equal partnership, you know. Worthy of being taken care of? Um, he also looks after her and takes care of her.

And when will women stop pretending like they are making some sort of sacrifice by having sex?

 

Basically, only the old fashioned men specifically want those things, but not most men.

Hardly any man asks or expects a woman to give up so much and make him the center of her universe. If you really want to do it, then it's different, but stop pretending that all men look for that.

[You'reasian]

Because a man is looking to receive sex, or have a woman take care of him, or both. That's what HE'S in it for. He's looking for a caregiver - giver of sex, giver of laundering, giver of cooking for him, giver-upper of her career/interests for him--or at least putting all she treasures on a back-burner in order to make him the center of her life. I would have to give up a lot more than he would, in order to enter a relationship with him. The whole point of dating is having the man convince the woman that he is worthy of being taken care of. There, I said it.

 

I think you have a slightly skewed point of view or you've never been with an interdependent type.

 

I do my own laundry, can cook close to restaraunt quality food in some styles and clean up after myself. As a matter of fact, I'm the kinda guy that believes in sharing the chores - or doing them together so as to get them done more quickly or efficiently and trying to make those little chores a small source of quality time, since I expect my woman to have her own career and hobbies.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Because a man is looking to receive sex, or have a woman take care of him, or both. That's what HE'S in it for. He's looking for a caregiver - giver of sex, giver of laundering, giver of cooking for him, giver-upper of her career/interests for him--or at least putting all she treasures on a back-burner in order to make him the center of her life. I would have to give up a lot more than he would, in order to enter a relationship with him. The whole point of dating is having the man convince the woman that he is worthy of being taken care of. There, I said it.

 

Nice attitude. Been burned a few times? Your statement fails to reflect reality.

 

Well then, since you have such a low opinion of me, and I avoid men like you IRL like the plague, we don't have a problem here. Never the twain shall meet.

 

Bitter Old Biddy Syndrome.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Let me try this again. I said guys WHO COMPLAIN about having to pay for dates, are usually stingy in other areas as well, and I want nothing to do with them.

 

It's a very poor indicator. I'm cheap as hell, but I always pay and never complain about it IRL.

 

Here I am free to bitch about it all I want.

 

I always pay because women expect it, and it reflects poorly on me if I don't. In my opinion the ideal would be everyone pays for themselves the first 3 dates or so... then the guy fronts most of the cost. This would benefit most women much more in the long run. Men too, because less money would be wasted on women who have no value to me.

 

Also, maybe if you don't want controlling men... stop going for the ones that shovel money at you! By this point in life you should understand that Money=Power and that by paying for all your crap he is really showing Power over you.

[Tomcat33]

Easy. Here's how you do it. When a guy offers to take you to a fancy restaurant, you say "No, I really like this cheap burger joint down the street. Let's go there!" It shows him that you aren't impressed with his fat wallet, and it is going to put him off guard. Any guy with half a brain can "wow" you at a 5 star restaurant with the fine wine, pleasant atmosphere, expensive appetizers, courteous waiters, and romantic music.

 

But the guys who can "wow" you at Mcdonalds with the cheap, greasy food, the unfriendly cashiers, the screaming children, and the dirty floors, they had to try MUCH harder, and had to win you with their personality, NOT their wallet.

 

I don't do "burger joints" sorry, I don't do them on my own time or with friends. Exactly how many outings do YOU plan around burger joints like McDonald's with your friends? Seriously. And if your answer is none, why would you plan on taking a woman there on a date?

 

The first date is also a fair show of what types of places you like to frequent for entertainment, will your lifestyles mesh if you had to share the same leisurely outing? Mine would not mesh with the Kentuky Fried Chicken frequenting man, he can certainly do that on his own time but I am not interested, just as you would not take a woman to a strip joint on a first date if that is what you were into. Sorry. Unless of course you are 16 then that's fine when you are younger and in school and trying to make ends meet those are the types of places you tend to frequent.

 

BUT let's play along then let's humour you for the sake of discussion let's say I suggested we go to the local burger joint, fine. Are you saying it's ok to accept he pick up the tab then? And if so how much do you think he will spend at a burger joint for two people? Say around $23?

Well typically a first date at some local lounge, pub, or coffee shop depending on what you choose for your first outing will run around $25-$30 for a first date. I DON'T accept dinner as a first date unless I know the guy somewhat and he asks me out and I know I will enjoy his company, then I would totally accept but if it's someone I met breifly the weekend before at some party or what have you I don't accept a dinner date it's too much commitment even the act of sharing a meal with someone seems too intimate to me when you don't know them. If a guy can't spend $25-$30 in one outing on a date it shows he can't afford to go out. That's what you would spend on your own on a heavy night of drinking, MORE than that as a guy I am sure, movie + parking + coffee dessert afterward (girls do that not sure what guys do after a movie) Light dinner with friends. Shoot I spend $40 in my sleep twenty bucks is NOTHING.

 

At the end of the day it doesn't have to be nit picky like that, I tend to meet men that run in the same circles as myself, heck even when we go out for drinks with male coworkers sometimes THEY insist on paying for us if it is just two of us left at the end of thenight with him, the guy will insist on paying our tab...Guys like to impress what can I say. So I don't even give it ANY thought I always have my wallet with me, and I offer to pay on a first date and they guy as Open Book said will act all offended they won't even let me take my wallet out of my purse, they swipe the bill when it comes and will say something along the lines "what do you think you are doing, don't even touch that put it away" Quite frankly after 3 hours of enjoying each other's company and really getting into each other's heads about who we are as people it wouldn't match with the way things had developed thus far if he were to say "ok well looking at this your share is $12.49 plus tip...just make it $16". :laugh: Only a "certain" type of man would do something like that. And if he is telling me put it away don't even think about that I am not going to start insisting that I pay my share "because this is 2009!!" and ruin a prefectly good night squabbling over $16 that a man GLADLY wants to pick up for me.

 

Instead I will thank him with a smile and when he walks me home or we say goodbye I will put my hand on his neck or his arm and draw myself closer to him, lean over and kiss him on the cheek and tell him what a great time I had and thank him again for a lovely time. I am sure he will value THAT much more than insisiting to pay for my check and then playing some stupid game of I like you I don't like you at the end of the night because no one knows where they stand. It's all about equality and equally showing no weakness at all these days isn't?

 

In the least it saves you from starting another thread on an online dating forum that reads: "I've been hanging out with this woman and I really like her but I'm getting mixed signals, does she like me?"

[Untouchable_Fire]

It's been my experience that men who complain about paying for dates are also stingy in other areas. They tend to have that "What's in it for ME?" attitude, about everything. I avoid them like the plague IRL.

 

Everyone gets a specific scenario that they have lived stuck in their head an then argues it.

 

For me its been the times I paid for a woman only to find 3 dates later she already had a BF. I wanted to send her an invoice! She lied and took my time and my money.

 

There have been many women I was happy to pay for. I had a great time and it was worth it. It's the ones that left me feeling used that make me want the system to change.

 

Lucky started this thread to snivel about some dates in particular. To me she came across as shallow and superficial. She had some right to complain about the one guy... he seemed like a bum, but her attitude is indefensible.

[lightning spades]

just as you would not take a woman to a strip joint on a first date if that is what you were into.

I did that once as a gag. She thought it was hilarious. I love girls with a sense of humor.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Instead I will thank him with a smile and when he walks me home or we say goodbye I will put my hand on his neck or his arm and draw myself closer to him, lean over and kiss him on the cheek and tell him what a great time I had and thank him again for a lovely time. I am sure he will value THAT much more than insisiting to pay for my check and then playing some stupid game of I like you I don't like you at the end of the night because no one knows where they stand.

 

$100 is a cheap date today. Unless your going to Applebee's, and that isn't much better than Burger King for a date.

 

I like where your going with this. Just one piece of advice... you need to tell the guy you would like to see him again! Even throw out some available days. Otherwise, I would be happy enough with a date that ended like this.

[movingonandon]

Besides EVEN if your silly stat had any bearing at all, if out of 50% of the female population half of them were married or taken and out of the male population only 10% is then what happens to your ratio?

 

Keep trying though.

 

 

I don't mean to be mean, but can't help but note the mathematical inadequacy of the above statement . so the half of women are married, fine. Who are they married to? Aliens? They're married to half of the men out there, duh, so within the remaining singles population, the men to women ratio is exactly the same as in the general population .

 

The only reason women still have more options is the increasingly weak idea that they offer/control something of value (sex) that men desperately seek. this type of women are increasingly staying single, being out-dated by chill girls that approach relationships on equal terms.

[lovestruck818]

Guy A: First date he paid ($20)

 

second date: i paid for my own. He never offered. I felt as though he should have paid. ($40)

 

 

Guy B: First date he paid ($25)

Second date he paid ($15)

Third time i saw him he asked me if i had money so he could buy a snack while at the movies. I also drove and paid for the movie. ($35)

 

 

I need to feel like he can be "the man" seems like i might be dating some cheap guys?

 

Why should a guy have to pay everytime? Seriously. I hate that society puts this emphasis and responsibility on guys...this coming from a woman! It puts men in the dominant position and in control, b/c he has the money, so-to-speak. This is why women are viewed as second to man in society. Women grow so damn balls and pay your own way. Furthermore, I don't know about the men you date Lucky, but the ones I date surely are not rich. Whatever happened to 50/50?

[Tomcat33]

For me its been the times I paid for a woman only to find 3 dates later she already had a BF. I wanted to send her an invoice! She lied and took my time and my money.

 

There have been many women I was happy to pay for. I had a great time and it was worth it. It's the ones that left me feeling used that make me want the system to change.

 

 

 

That's understandable, in all fairness it IS wrong to say ALL men who don't offer to pay on a first date are just cheap because as you said some people draw from their past experiences and that is what leads them to act a certain way while on a date. On the same token it's unfair to call all women who like to be wowed a little in the early stages by the man, whores or golddiggers simply because you've encountered one or two of those you assume a lot of women are like that. A great deal of us are not like that.

 

What you discribed IS unfortunate but that's romance and dating for you, it's all a crap shoot really. Do you know how many women out there give all of themselves to men who end up being married and lying cheats who lead them on the believe they were single? Women who have given a lot MORE than their money, they gave their soul and hearts and trust to men that trampled all over them? Heck forget women who were going out with lying two timers, what about all the women who have been cheated on and who had given their all to a marriage and children to form a good life only to find the man they had married was NOTHING like what he had promised to be? I know you will say men go though this too, of course they do it's not exclusive to women.

 

That's life, you always take a risk when you meet someone new, you DON'T KNOW what you are getting yourself into so you use the cues that are sent out in those very first "meetings" we call dates to get a sense of what the person is about.

 

Heck do you know how many people have their heart broken in love? If I had any guarantee that paying for a date would spare me from any sort of romantic heartbreak I would pay through the nose for that NO questions asked I am certainly NOT attached to money so that I would not pay for my securtiy in love. :laugh: But love is not like that it's a risk every single time. Just use your judgement and be smart. If you don't want to be used by women on a first date suggest a date that won't break your bank suggest something more casual a medium that offers a good environment for dialogue, really that's all you are looking for on a first date a place to talk and get to know the other person and it doesn't have to be over food. Why does it have to be over dinner at the coolest spot in town? What's left for a b-day outing or a special "I love you" outing if you take a woman you don't even know out to the hottest joint in town to impress her?

 

The other thing is that some men are serial daters, they are out three, four nights a week looking to score. I WANT NOTHING TO DO with a him-bo, sorry SO not my type of guy. So if he is out looking to score three four nights a week GURANTEED he is blowing money left and right trying to get laid, no wonder he has to count his dimes when he takes out a girl on a real date. That is my perception.

 

It boils down to perception really. If he is only dating when he is really interested in getting to know a woman that is far more appealing to me than a guy who is always out on the town on the prowl.

 

Lastly I would respect FAR more a guy who is going through a circumstancial financial hardship and chooses a modest outing that he can afford over the guy who invites me out to some hot place and accepts to have me pay for half for a place HE chose. What that says to me is he just wanted company for the night nothing more. It shows selfishness and eternal bachelor attitude, the kind that says bye to me and is off going to some bimbo's for a booty call after he spent a few hours with me. Yuck! Or it shows he wasn't all that into me, he sees me more as a friend than anything else.

[Tomcat33]

I don't mean to be mean, but can't help but note the mathematical inadequacy of the above statement . so the half of women are married, fine. Who are they married to? Aliens? They're married to half of the men out there, duh, so within the remaining singles population, the men to women ratio is exactly the same as in the general population .

 

The only reason women still have more options is the increasingly weak idea that they offer/control something of value (sex) that men desperately seek. this type of women are increasingly staying single, being out-dated by chill girls that approach relationships on equal terms.

 

 

You are a few pages too late I already cleared that up and admitted I missed that and that Tanbark who pointed that out right away, was correct.

 

It's irrelevant why women have more options the fact stands we do.

[Tomcat33]

. Women grow so damn balls and pay your own way.

 

 

That's the BEST statement I have EVER read. It sums it up pefectly. :laugh:

 

 

I like my pretty litte cooch just as it is I don't want a pair of balls hanging from it. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[Lucky555]

lovestruck818: Why should a guy have to pay everytime? Seriously. I hate that society puts this emphasis and responsibility on guys...this coming from a woman! It puts men in the dominant position and in control, b/c he has the money, so-to-speak. This is why women are viewed as second to man in society. Women grow so damn balls and pay your own way. Furthermore, I don't know about the men you date Lucky, but the ones I date surely are not rich. Whatever happened to 50/50?

 

 

I do realize what you are saying here. I have no problem with 50/50. But this guy ASKED ME FOR MONEY, This guy wanted me to buy him a candy bar...Whats next! We are not boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't ask for anything from him. I feel like I am doing more giving so far than receiving.

 

I am traditional. I think the guy should pay for the first date. I don't mind going 50/50 on the rest of the dates either but even this didn't happen.

 

i drive because he doesn't have a car.

I drive to see him in which he lives a couple hours from me so he doesn't have to take a taxi and spend money.

"we are dating and as i get to know him, hes not my cup of tea"

 

The original attraction that i had for him is really vanishing as i get to know him better.

 

I feel as though he isn't being "the man" here. I want to feel like hes "taking care of me," but i don't get this feeling.

 

We have been on 3 dates. First date he paid for just drinks. Second date he bought me a glass of wine while meeting his friends.

 

I also see other red flags with this guy. such as him knowing me for a few dates, he all of a sudden wants to be my boyfriend.

 

HE has stated he wants to marry me! WHAT! He has repeated this many times.

 

See its more to it than just his money and this is why i have to break up with him..........I just need to figure out a nice way to break the news to him.

 

I don't jump into relationships with people. I date them, get to know them, then see if I can see myself with them, if not then next.

 

Guy A: He isn't putting himself out there to say lets date. He does come from a good family and looks good on paper BUT after he tried to get laid on the second date I have kept things VERY casual because we have mutual friends.

 

 

The next date i have with a guy, hopefully will be one that will sweep me off my feet! I believe its trial and error so more dates here i come.

[mr.dream merchant]

In my opinion if you have a job and make your money as does he then you should split. Don't throw this courtesy junk around then flip the script and say a guy shouldn't expect a female's past to be classy. If we can't live in the past neither can you. He works hard for his money and if you do to then pay for your meal.