guys who dont pay

[CommitmentPhobe]

what is the one commonality all these men seem to have when excusing their attitude?

 

They ALL consistently rely on their good looks and charm as virtue for getting a woman. They place ALL the focus on that. And guess what? When you are THAT into yourself there will never be room for any lady in that relationship, these men love themselves and only themselves. i pretty much called that early on, too selfish eternally stuck in "bachelor" mode.

 

I have a very vivid picture of what these guys are about, I hope you do too out there. I think this thread has played out rather nicely.

 

Of course you have a vivid picure. You're a man hater. You're positively getting off on having a few manly men to spit at. You're quite happy to wheel out lines like "these guys are wrapped up in themselves" etc., because thats what you want to believe.

 

We hear this all the time from women wound up tight like you, you're just waiting for a guy to come along like that who's willing to pay for everything, opens doors, does this and that has great job wonderful manners etc...You'll use every little manipulative trick in the book to try and get men to roll over like this so they match up with your elusive ideal. You are a man hater. I can feel the absolute venom in your posts.

 

Said "good" guy comes along and woope doo.. he's too nice. Go through the forum and just look for yourself at all the stories "I met this wonderful guy but he's too blah, he wears the wrong jumper etc. etc." what line does this guy hear time and time again "Oh you're so perfect but there's just no chemistry".

 

Said guy is blowing his cash away and wasting time. He is being used and abused.

 

The guy that wins in all of this is the guy that is just himself and has the backbone to say no to this garbage. I'm NOT spending my money on you until I've decided you're worth it, because I would be a complete and total mug if I did and if you don't respect that you're not worth wasting my time on. Something you are going to have to get used to at some point Tomcat, I know this is difficult, but men are human beings and not just objects that serve a purpose for you. We do not have infinite time, infinite patience, and infinite resources to waste on someone who believes she is a divine princess to be won over.

 

You want a courting ritual that fits your needs, you'd better be prepared to stand by what you say and take on one of these "good guys" then. Now what excuse do you have? because there's millions of these guys out there tonight prepared to roll over and you can have any one of them.

[Tomcat33]

. And yes I do sleep around a lot and you'll be surprised what "status" these women are.

 

 

Yes I know you do, another proven point for me, men who don't pay are out on the prowl every night because they are ONLY looking to get laid. I called that one early on.

And that is repulsive to me, yet another reason I feel I need to weed those types out.

 

Look the more you post the more you drive home the points I have been making all along.

[CommitmentPhobe]

Yes I know you do, another proven point for me, men who don't pay are out on the prowl every night because they are ONLY looking to get laid. I called that one early on.

And that is repulsive to me, yet another reason I feel I need to weed those types out.

 

Look the more you post the more you drive home the points I have been making all along.

 

I think all you're proving is that you hate men for being men, period.

[Tomcat33]

I think all you're proving is that you hate men for being men, period.

 

Excuse me I haven't said anything disrespecful about men as a whole. I have said some disrespectful things about a certain type of man. In your posts you clearly put down the women you do end up with with by making comments like "when I am done with them all they will complain about is not being able to sit down" You don't want some women and the women you do get you have 0 respect for if you talk about them like that so where does that leave you in terms of what you think of the gender as a whole?

 

I'll tell you where, it leaves you seeing women as one thing and one thing only. No need to keep flogging the dead horse I/WE get it Mr Charming Pants.

[CommitmentPhobe]

Excuse me I haven't said anything disrespecful about men as a whole. I have said some disrespectful things about a certain type of man. In your posts you clearly put down the women you do end up with with by making comments like "when I am done with them all they will complain about is not being able to sit down" You don't want some women and the women you do get you have 0 respect for if you talk about them like that so where does that leave you in terms of what you think of the gender as a whole?

 

I'll tell you where, it leaves you seeing women as one thing and one thing only. No need to keep flogging the dead horse I/WE get it Mr Charming Pants.

 

Let me quote mr. dream merchant for you

 

And just to clarify, you know, incase your small brain couldn't comprehend what I typed to the other poster, I was joking about giving your date great sex

 

It's called guy speak. If you want to take everything literally that's up to you. Rather a bitter (and disrespectful) thing to be doing though.

[The Collector]

In your posts you clearly put down the women you do end up with with by making comments like "when I am done with them all they will complain about is not being able to sit down"

 

That's not disrespectful. Women like to be ****ed well. Doesn't make you a misogynist.

[Tomcat33]

That's not disrespectful. Women like to be ****ed well. Doesn't make you a misogynist.

 

 

It does when that is your only point of reference when speaking about women.

 

 

Notice he never said "I go out and don't pay for them because we have a great time and she wants to see me again because I make her laugh all night or because we had great conversation" no none of that it was because I "fecked her so hard she couldn't sit down the next day"

 

THAT'S disrespectful.

[Tomcat33]

It's called guy speak. If you want to take everything literally that's up to you.

 

 

If you are inviting me to not take your words literally then there is no point in furthering this discussion you don't mean anything of what you say so I might as well be talking with a wall.

[The Collector]

It does when that is your only point of reference when speaking about women.

 

 

Notice he never said "I go out and don't pay for them because we have a great time and she wants to see me again because I make her laugh all night or because we had great conversation" no none of that it was because I "fecked her so hard she couldn't sit down the next day"

 

THAT'S disrespectful.

 

No it's not. Us men don't have to include any number of lines about how we respect women and see them as human beings not objects every time we talk about them just to illustrate that we are not misogynists. If your default opinion of men is that they hate women until proven otherwise, that says more about your negative opinion of men than it does a man's opinion of women. In fact it's very tiresome as a man to be constantly refuting charges of misogyny while women have carte blanche to disrespect and demean men all the time, which as a woman you wouldn't appreciate. But that's society these days.

[OpenBook]

Have we met?

 

The type that gets me laid frequently.

 

Last thing a woman I've been on a date with is thinking about is the $20 I did or didn't pay for. Only thing she'll have complained about is the fact she can't sit down.

 

Great.

 

Rofl you feel me?! That and the knot on her head from the constant banging against the backdoor of my whip. **** at the end of the night she'll toss me the $20 for gas money.

 

Nice.

 

I've been spectacularly successful with women, probably the best out of anyone I've ever known. I've dated and had relationships with the most desirable and popular women around (and never paid for their share) for over 20 years.

 

Uh-huh.

 

It's called guy speak. If you want to take everything literally that's up to you. Rather a bitter (and disrespectful) thing to be doing though.

 

You know, if you guys were really having such great success with women, you would never say such nasty, hateful things about them... not IRL, and not with anonymous online posters. With every pathetically transparent word you are giving yourselves away. Your venom toward women is palpable and undeniable.

 

You can keep your money.

[Tomcat33]

Us men don't have to include any number of lines about how we respect women and see them as human beings not objects every time we talk about them just to illustrate that we are not misogynists.

 

You are right a man doesn't have to do that, he should be able to carry on freely and let the way in chich he expresses himself define where he stands. You don't have to spell things out, tone will denote that. Funny you guys want to be taken literally in some instances and not so much in other.

 

If you think there is something remotely sane OR respectful about this comment and this is about the women he CHOOSES to be with never mind how he would speak of the women he rejects:

 

That and the knot on her head from the constant banging against the backdoor of my whip. **** at the end of the night she'll toss me the $20 for gas money.

 

Then we definitely have some serious problems here.

 

 

Would you think I was a man hater if I made the following comment:

 

I leave a sucker with blue balls and send him on his way and make sure to eat and drink everything on a dinner menu while he pays through the nose, because I am hot and I can.

 

I couldn't make a comment like that with a straight face and come back and say

 

a) I am not a man hater

b) I have had relationships with men and have been good to them

 

I would EXPECT you to LAUGH in my face.

[BareGoddess]

You can keep your money.

 

Priceless!

 

As for the rest...sooo true. Very true.

[The Collector]

You know, if you guys were really having such great success with women, you would never say such nasty, hateful things about them... not IRL, and not with anonymous online posters. With every pathetically transparent word you are giving yourselves away. Your venom toward women is palpable and undeniable.

 

Sigh, more shaming tactics. Please quote me anything I've said that is venomous or hateful towards women? Oh you already tried and all you found was a statement I was taunted into making after being accused of being bitter because of my lack of success with women? Which wasn't misogynist in the slightest.

 

You can be succesful with women and have a zillion close female friends and still think women, especially some, are not without their faults you know. Another example of what I was just saying - unless you coat every statement about women with endless positivity and pedestal-worship, you hate women. And if you say something nice, you're lying. But this thread is about the idea of men paying for dates, so try to stay on topic please.

[The Collector]

Would you think I was a man hater if I made the following comment:

 

I leave a sucker with blue balls and send him on his way and make sure to eat and drink everything on a dinner menu while he pays through the nose, because I am hot and I can.

 

If we are 'reading between the lines' then you could say that is roughly what a lot of the female responses to this issue boil down to. The difference between that and what CommitmentPhobe has said is that with good sex the woman is getting something out of the deal too.

[Tomcat33]

If we are 'reading between the lines' then you could say that is roughly what a lot of the female responses to this issue boil down to. The difference between that and what CommitmentPhobe has said is that with good sex the woman is getting something out of the deal too.

 

 

So we are back to prostitution are we?

 

Sorry, I can't relate.

[The Collector]

So we are back to prostitution are we?

 

Sorry, I can't relate.

 

Eh? I think the only person who has used the word prostitution in this thread is you.

 

To spell it out, once we discount the bogus 'who asks pays' rationale, and ignore the specious "I'm a traditional girl except when it doesn't suit me like in the workplace' it seems what we are left with is 'I get the men to pay for me because I believe I hold the power in the dating world, so I can.'

[Tomcat33]

Eh? I think the only person who has used the word prostitution in this thread is you.

 

To spell it out, once we discount the bogus 'who asks pays' rationale, and ignore the specious "I'm a traditional girl except when it doesn't suit me like in the workplace' '

 

 

ME? Go back and reread the thread.

 

Listen why do you have SUCH a problem with equality in the work place, where does that "traditional when it doesn't suit me" bullshet come from? Does it suit you to be disrepsected or put down or demeaned simply because you are a man? I can answer that for you since I have seen your reactions on here, NO it does not. WHY do you think it would suit women? THAT is what makes you irrational, with someone what of a chavenistic ego. If you can't COMPREHEND why women would like to be treated with respect and made to be feeling like they are considered equal human beings and no just a peice of azz who can fetch coffee, then I have NO choice but to think you ARE a misogynist.

 

how is that in any shape way or form UNFAIR of women?

 

The core principal of your "I MAKE HER PAY" attitude stems from the idea that you want to be respected as a man "not taken advantage " if you will, correct? So why are you placing so much weight on the idea that WE WOMEN fought to keep some equality in the workplace and use that to play this "I am traditional when it suits me" It's not "when it suits me", I like to be respected ALL the time thank you very much female or not I think MOST human beings would agree they want to be respected and that work laws had to change because women were being GROSSLY disrepected at work. Please stop bringing that up it makes you sound like you hate women and don't get it at all.

 

 

Walk a mile in our shoes and then come back to post will you?

[The Collector]

Of course I support female equality in the workplace, and everywhere else. I'm a liberal, freedom and equality for everyone kinda guy. My point is that it's a bit rich to demand equality there but hold on to the traditional bits (men paying for dates) that suit you. And many 'modern women' agree with me.

[Tomcat33]

Of course I support female equality in the workplace, and everywhere else. I'm a liberal, freedom and equality for everyone kinda guy. My point is that it's a bit rich to demand equality there but hold on to the traditional bits (men paying for dates) that suit you. And many 'modern women' agree with me.

 

 

But why? What does dating and courtship in romance HAVE TO DO with work?

 

Can you please explain that?

 

The notion that a man takes a woman out and pays for her on a date did not come about because women didn't work and men did, it came about because a universal social symbol of interest and appreciation comes in the form of treating another . If you were to invite someone over for dinner it denotes great appreciation it denotes interest. Men do this with women to express their level of interest because typically it is the man who enjoys the chase and thrill of the hunt. It's mother nature's animal instinct instilled in us it is not some made up act to appease all the women who weren't working back in the day and the men who were. Sure the fact that men may have paid ALL the time and not women back in the day could be attributed to the idea that men had more fluid financial assets and so that has changed in time and women tend to reciprocate much more financially, it still doesn't take away from the fact that men are the ones who woo women in the early stages from a romantic stand point.

 

If you look at remote tribes where there are no exchanges of money the men often come bearing gifts or perform rituals for their objects of desire it has nothing to do with buying a meal ticket it has to do with tokens of admiration and appreciation that create romantic interest. Would you call those tribal women gold diggers too?

[BareGoddess]

Good for the "modern women." They can have the kinds of men who feel like some of you on here.

 

It would be such an insult if anyone ever called me a "modern woman." Besides, men like my H would not be interested in that type. Thank goodness I'm not one of them.

[mr.dream merchant]

I wish more men would pay for Tomcat's tab so she'd stfu.

[mr.dream merchant]

Good for the "modern women." They can have the kinds of men who feel like some of you on here.

 

It would be such an insult if anyone ever called me a "modern woman." Besides, men like my H would not be interested in that type. Thank goodness I'm not one of them.

 

Well since you're not so modern how about cookin up some nice dinner for your man instead of being a LoveShack warrior? Two can play at your game.

[The Collector]

The notion that a man pays for a woman does have its roots in men working and having funds and women not. Thank god those days are over. And even if there is a historical basis for men 'treating' women to show they are good providers, it's not the way I want to operate and I don't think it's appropriate in our modern world. If the tradition was that a woman paid for a man because she valued him more than he valued her, or for whatever reason, I'd be against that too. And I think I listed plenty of other reasons why I am against it in a previous post.

[BareGoddess]

Well since you're not so modern how about cookin up some nice dinner for your man instead of being a LoveShack warrior? Two can play at your game.

 

That's funny because actually, he cooked for us tonight. I'm off today.

 

Trust me. I take good care of him. But he's no "modern man" either (like some of you guys.) He's a traditional sort of guy as well and he takes good care of me too. It's perfect for us.

 

Look, I'm not knocking some of you. Like I said, I'm sure there are women out there who would appreciate that sort of mentality. I'm just not one of them.

[mr.dream merchant]

Well as long as you're not running around preaching that a modern man doesn't know how to treat his woman because he's good in the sack, then all is good.