Tomcat33 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 You either need to grow up or get out in the real world to see theres all different types of people with different tastes and theres no universal description of what "women" want. You seem to live on a forum where everything is neatly defined. Sorry it doesn't work like that. Either way you don't know half of what you think you know. I'd certainly be dissapointed if I paid for a date with a know it all bore that fits the world around them to their personal views. Clooney is a commitmentphobe that beds a lot of women, so yes he is old school, and according to you he's a "garden variety man slut", but you seem to be conveniently ignoring that as well. You are 33? I thought you were a teenager given your previous posts, so I take back the "you are young thing" then you are not that young. I live in the real world, and in my real world men pick up for the date. I was out IN THE REAL world on a REAL WORLD date with a REAL WORLD modern man, a VERY modern sort of man well into the arts philosophy and culture just last night actually, HE PAID FOR THE DATE. No questions asked. We had an amazing time at a really great lounge in a hot trendy spot of town and he was great and I will DEFINITELY be seeing him again. As for the Clooney example YOU ASKED the question I didn't bring him up, had I introduced the example I would be contradicting myself but you asked. I simply responded to your hypothetical situation. The only reason you know he has commitemnt issues is because he is a public figure otherwise if it were just another guy on the street that would a chance I have to take in getting to know a guy, there are thousands of cheaters, liars, commitmentphobic, mommy issued, woman hating men running amuck I am NOT not going to date or rule out MEN for fear of running into one those. I love men not a chance!! I need to take my time and get to know them and hope for the best. As everyone does when they date. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I live in the real world, and in my real world men pick up for the date. I think that says it all. Your type of man picks up for the date. Enjoy that and stop being so bitter and judgemental to men that aren't your type. It's not so hard for someone reportedly as cultured as you. Link to post Share on other sites
boxing123 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Tomcat, do us a favor. Please explain LOGICALLY why men should pay today, since women are now equal. And do not be vague, and say things like, "gentleman pay", or "that's just how it was and it worked" etc. Many things worked in the past, that we no longer practice today. So we are waiting. You work. You are equal. Why should men pay? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I think that says it all. Well yeah of course it says it all it has been my message all along. Duhh! Your type of man picks up for the date. Yes. It's no coincidence every single man I have EVER gone out on a date with does. So it is safe for men to say a lot of me behave like this, I didn't happen to stumble upon a special breed of men or some kind of "man sect of paying daters" Enjoy that. I AM enjoying it! VERY much. I want to ensure you understand that. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Well yeah of course it says it all it has been my message all along. Duhh! Yes. It's no coincidence every single man I have EVER gone out on a date with does. So it is safe for men to say a lot of me behave like this, I didn't happen to stumble upon a special breed of "man sect of paying daters" Oh wow, you've been out with a lot of men your type. How wonderful. I AM enjoying it! VERY much. I want to ensure you understand that. That's nice, I hope he gets past your anxiety/control issues. Night night. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Tomcat, do us a favor. Please explain LOGICALLY why men should pay today, since women are now equal. Honey do us all a favour, you have 32 pages of insight as to where I stand on this. Go back and READ IT. No one wants to hear me recount it all back again. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Nite Nite "Commitmentphobe" nice name by the way...sort of goes hand in hand with my theory of why certain men make women go dutch. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Tomcat, do us a favor. Please explain LOGICALLY why men should pay today, since women are now equal. And do not be vague, and say things like, "gentleman pay", or "that's just how it was and it worked" etc. Many things worked in the past, that we no longer practice today. So we are waiting. You work. You are equal. Why should men pay? I'll recap for you. Tomcat leads a middle class aspirationalist lifestyle so needs a man that can ensure that. Particularly the type of snore bore a wealthy guy like me avoids which is why her filter would out me Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Notice in this tribe how men win women over: As you can see that has nothing to do with feminism, equality in the work place or anyof the things some of you men confuse today. It has everything to with the fact that men are hunters women are gatherer/nurturers and intrinsically that is how we best relate in terms of romance. So STFU and pay for the date if you want to be a respected man and taken seriously, el'cheapos :laugh: It has everything to do with equality. If you want to live that way you should also be okay with the woman staying home and guy going out to work. (Not saying that i think that is fair, but you're being a hypocrite). And the woman is being cheap if she expects to be paid for, not the man. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Nite Nite "Commitmentphobe" nice name by the way...sort of goes hand in hand with my theory of why certain men make women go dutch. Yes a real solid conclusion that, there you go with that literal stuff again. I suppose women who want men to pay for dates aren't women they're actually Tomcats I'm going to get my name changed to clooney, then I guess you'll assume I'm actually clooney and start calling me cowboy... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I'll recap for you. Tomcat leads a middle class aspirationalist lifestyle so needs a man that can ensure that. Particularly the type of snore bore a wealthy guy like me avoids which is why her filter would out me As a matter of fact I DO lead a middle class aspirationalist lifestyle, I work to live, not live to work and it suits me JUST FINE and I prefer men who are along those lines of thinking as well. Men who are too driven by money are not attractive and don't make good partners, friends or mates they are too materialistic and use people as time fillers and are not all that emotionally progressive or introspective, all qualities which in the opposite I find very attractive and that also define a well balanced man. Indiviudals who are too concerned with being "wealthy" lack the wealthiest possesion of all; humanity. When you find yourself trying to fill the voids with meaningless sexual hook ups that involve a lot of detachment and subliminal self loathing, there will come a time when you will freeze dead in your tracks and realise your life is just a big empty sham. I can gladly say that will NEVER happen to me in my middle class lifestyle. Yes I am, I am a proud middle class aspirationalist thank you very much! Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Trust me, most of us aren't goldiggers. That's a sad mentality if that's what some of you think. I don't think most women are golddiggers, though I would say that more women value a high-earner in a partner than men do. But that's not really the point, the issue is the logic of men paying for women - even in the first few dates. It's important to remember how this thread started, and what led me to participate. A woman complained that two men, both of whom had already paid for her for the first one or two dates, were cheap because they let her pay for the third, or dared to put a candy bar in with her grocery shopping. There followed a bunch of women agreeing that they were cheap losers, and began to twist the facts as if the guy had asked for 'snack money' until this became the 'fact'. Women rightly defend each other if they feel they are being trashed. Likewise, I feel compelled to rebut such misandrist, hypocritical, ugly nonsense, and will continue to do so as long as there is work I should be getting on with but can't be bothered to do. Link to post Share on other sites
addidas Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 (Not saying that i think that is fair, but you're being a hypocrite). it's called reverse-sexism. after centuries of gender inequality. Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 after centuries of gender inequality. None of which was enforced by me or anyone of my generation, or has affected you or anyone of your generation, unless you're over 50 maybe. There are still inequities, but probably not the fault of the people you are dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 It has everything to do with equality. If you want to live that way you should also be okay with the woman staying home and guy going out to work. Exactly what equality are you talking about please define that. The term keeps getting thrown around. Equality in what terms, that is a VERY broad statement? Equality in the workplace for women really boils down to respect and money. So what are you talking about? I am ok with staying home if that is what I choose to do with my partner but I don't know any man in their right mind who would insist that the woman stay home unless she is going to be a mom. What is the incentive for a man to want a woman to stay home? And the only way I would give my career up and financial independence to stay at home is to be a mom. Can you also explain that, can you please explain why it is so important for the woman to stay home otherwise? You make it sound like women are rebelling against men by going to work when we are just trying to survive in the world just like men are?!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Exactly what equality are you talking about please define that. The term keeps getting thrown around. Equality in what terms, that is a VERY broad statement? Equality in the workplace for women really boils down to respect and money. So what are you talking about? I am ok with staying home if that is what I choose to do with my partner but I don't know any man in their right mind who would insist that the woman stay home unless she is going to be a mom. What is the incentive for a man to want a woman to stay home? And the only way I would give my career up and financial independence to stay at home is to be a mom. Can you also explain that, can you please explain why it is so important for the woman to stay home otherwise? You make it sound like women are rebelling against men by going to work when we are just trying to survive in the world just like men are?!?!? stop taking what my post out of context, no man has any right to ask his woman to stay home, even if she becomes a mom. It's upto her if she wants to be a working mum or stay at home mum. What I mean is exactly what I have already said, that woman want equality when it suits them, not when it doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
39388 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 This is so silly. I would definitely offer to pay on the early dates. It would make me feel good as a male and I'm sure just about any female would appreciate it. If only I could get a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 stop taking what my post out of context, no man has any right to ask his woman to stay home, even if she becomes a mom. It's upto her if she wants to be a working mum or stay at home mum. What I mean is exactly what I have already said, that woman want equality when it suits them, not when it doesn't. WHO is taking your post out of context??? You said this: If you want to live that way you should also be okay with the woman staying home and guy going out to work. I responded and said I would not have a problem with that at all! Then asked you some questions. Exactly how did I take your post out of context? Shame you can't come up with an answer. Cool I'll take that for your answer then. I really didn't expect much more than what you gave anyway so no big surprise here. Please stop using the phrase "women want equality when it's convenient for them" if you can't even define what you mean. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
james123 Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 WHO is taking your post out of context??? You said this: I responded and said I would not have a problem with that at all! Then asked you some questions. Exactly how did I take your post out of context? Shame you can't come up with an answer. Cool I'll take that for your answer then. I really didn't expect much more than what you gave anyway so no big surprise here. Please stop using the phrase "women want equality when it's convenient for them" if you can't even define what you mean. Thanks! I mean that women want to be paid for when on a date and don't want to pay mostly, not even go dutch, and want to be all traditional, but at the workplace you want equality and the same jobs and earn the same. If that is not about having your cake and eating it too, then nothing is. I did say I don't agree with the stay at home mentality, but you being yourself will only quote what suits you. Link to post Share on other sites
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Wow 32 pages! Geesh! Just because a guy shells out fork loads of money with no problem doesn’t necessarily mean he is a “good” guy. If anything, I would be a little wary of that versus a guy who is less “showy”. There have been men I’ve gone out with where they offered to pay, some turned out to be jerks and others weren’t. I don't see anything wrong when/if a guy is conservative with his money, he has to look out for himself too at times, be cautious, etc., just as women do. I think the OP needs to look at the whole picture with these two guys versus concluding what type of person he is/isn’t based on what she wrote. Link to post Share on other sites
CommitmentPhobe Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 When you find yourself trying to fill the voids with meaningless sexual hook ups that involve a lot of detachment and subliminal self loathing, there will come a time when you will freeze dead in your tracks and realise your life is just a big empty sham. See, this kind of thing is exactly why I know you live in your own little fantasy world where everything is black and white. For someone who prizes humanity you appear to know very little about it. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Hmm... I paid for most dating expenses before marriage, during the marriage I paid all the bills. Now I pay him alimony. It would be a delightful treat to only have to pay for myself Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 The things is, I have read SOOOO many threads about men HATING to be the one asked out by a woman. So much for your theory of equality. Really? Can you find one? I doubt many men would mind if Jessica Alba came over and said 'Hey cutie, maybe we should get together sometime.' Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 There appears to be a generally accepted stereotype of alpha males being put off by a woman asking them out, reinforced by accepted LS "alphas" repeating the perspective. So, naturally, as women wish to attract the strongest and best of the breed, they wish to act in a way which attractive to those men And it's easier and cheaper that way Link to post Share on other sites
The Collector Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Any true alpha male would not be so insecure in his masculinity that a woman approaching him and asking for a date would make him feel uncomfortable or emasculated. But I love how women try to say they adhere to the tradition because they are worried about the poor man's feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts