Mickyfricky Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I posted earlier, And need advice or more words of encouragement! I have decided to woo a friend, risky, but I feel so confident! I have never really, honestly fealt confident with this woman, but now I do! I have known her for 16 years, and loved her from the first day I saw her, we dated 10 years ago, lost contact, gained contact, and now, I feel she has finally found who she is. I think she might be ready for the kind of commitment I have dreamed of. I have always dreamed of the woman to love, but haven't met her yet. She knows, i'm sure, what I think of her. I really love her, but I need to spend more time with her. I like her for more than what other men would. I see her more deeply, I hope, but I also hope she knows I look at her more deeply. I have grown so much, and finally, I feel she has. She finally took time for herself. Finally took time to try and give herself to herself, and I see the changes. She is finally happy, finally what I was hoping she could be. I think now, I may be able to love her, I think maybe now she may appreciate love, and not just physical attraction that she shares. I want to woo my best friend. I have loved her for years, please ask me questions, please offer advice. Youreasian, you seem to offer the soundest advice here, can we talk? I really want the chance to love this woman, even though I do. Please help me to gently tell her how I feel, I need advice on how to woo her. Help me out, please! Link to post Share on other sites
pollywolly Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 You sound so happy and excited! That is great! But my initial reaction after reading your post is... "what's the hurry?!" Slow down, let things develop. I would say that if you try to move things too quickly you could be setting yourself up for failure. Believe me, there is a reason for the different stages of growing a relationship. I can understand your excitement of the prospect of telling this girl how you feel, but unless there is some immediate threat of competition, I'd say take it slow. She will get it, she will know by your actions. That is the best way to let her know how you feel. That is the way that it will mean more to her as well. Take your time, let this develop in its own way. I know that is much easier said than done, believe me, but it is the safest way. Good luck! Keep us posted... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Tell me about your current friendship with her. How long in continuous contact? Typical interactions? Topics of conversation? I'm hearing a lot about *you* and what you think about her "readiness for commitment" but not so much about the friendship dynamic. Looking forward to that Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 3 years ago I thought I was in love with my best friend. Off and on I'd get these intense feeling for her, we clicked on a lot levels and she would call me every morning...One of my other friends said I should ask her out and so I did...immediately I knew I'd made a mistake and made her uncomfortable..she hemmed and hawed and said maybe. After I got off the phone with her, I resolved not to bring it up again, because our friendship was too important and she never brought it up either. Ironically, we became even closer friends after that, and since then, she has married a guy and I was even in the wedding. We've aren't as close now since she is married and there is a boundary there, but the funny thing is that I have no clue what I ever saw in her romantically... My point in telling you this is that, even if your friend doesn't date you, it won't be the worse thing in the world. If you both deal with it in a healthy way, who knows, your friendship can even grow deeper as a result. Good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Charles1978 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 But gopher, you probably agree that in the end, you are glad you asked because you would have always wondered. At least from that point, you knew... and you were both able to better focus on being friends, right? Link to post Share on other sites
gopher Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 But gopher, you probably agree that in the end, you are glad you asked because you would have always wondered. At least from that point, you knew... and you were both able to better focus on being friends, right? Absolutely Charles, It was the best thing I could do and even right afterwards it was a relief to a least know. Link to post Share on other sites
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