What Hurts More: cheating Boyfriend or Cheating Girlfriend

[anne1707]

So tell me what defense mechanism are you using now?

 

Excuse me but you started talking evolutionary psychology which is "why" and I believe you are wrong in your argument along those lines. The thread is really about "hurt"

 

So what defence mechanisms do you think I am using? Please explain what you mean.

[Adamagnet]

The OP was concerned with feelings, ie who feels worse, men or women. To start discussing this from an evolutionary Psychology point of view is IMO wrong as this deals with why and advantage\disadvantage from a genetic point of view, (ie passing on genes to future generations) rather than feelings and emotions (ie I feel like sh*t now).

 

Your opinion doesn't take into consideration that emotions are mechanisms created by genes and altered through evolution. Did you happen to skim through my quote with the example of jealousy as an emotion as viewed through evolutionary psychology?

[Adamagnet]

Excuse me but you started talking evolutionary psychology which is "why" and I believe you are wrong in your argument along those lines. The thread is really about "hurt"

 

Yes, I was explaining why men are more "hurt" with infidelity than women through the use of theories based from evolutionary psychology. Can you explain to me why I am wrong and thus why women are more "hurt" than men in situations of infidelity using an example from an evolutionary psychology theory?

 

So what defence mechanisms do you think I am using? Please explain what you mean.

 

If you don't see it, how am I supposed to show you?

 

Really though, I don't mean to inject negativity onto this subject and truly do enjoy discussing it, so I apologize I sound like a smug prick. The use of defense mechanisms could very well be on my end, as we both identify with subject matter on hand.

[Crestfallen_KH]

I love arguing over abstract ideas that cannot be proven one way or the other.

 

Assuming one gender gets "hurt more" by infidelity is like trying to prove a negative. There are so many facets involved, personality types, cheating behaviors and different definitions of "hurt" and what's really lost to an individual when the affair is exposed.

 

There is no "right answer" here, except to say that infidelity hurts everyone involved.

[samsungxoxo]

Why would it be more hurtful for a girl to cheat than vice-versa. Cheating is cheating, same as when you commit a crime you're guilty of. Gender doesn't matter, but the act.

 

Then again so many try to excuse the woman who cheated by probably saying that she suffered from depression, terrible childhood memories or was suicidal, excuses, the point if you did it, period. Bet if it was a male with the same symptoms, he would be flamed, yet a woman doing it would be seen as a mere victim, lol.

[WiseOne1]

When women cheat it just seems more awfull, maybe because society has painted men as being the cheaters, so its weird and messing with your ego and etc.

 

Then again, I would never take back any cheating, regardless of how it happened, why it happened, some guys can take back a cheater, so I guess it depends.

 

But women, they don't seem to take cheating as serious, most guys can cheat on a women 4 to 6 times before she dumps him and is throughly done with him.

[Woggle]

I think it hurts both genders equally but society is much more sympathetic to female cheaters and is quick to blame the man. They think that a man must have done something to push her into infidelity.

[WiseOne1]

I think it hurts both genders equally but society is much more sympathetic to female cheaters and is quick to blame the man. They think that a man must have done something to push her into infidelity.

 

 

I defintely agree, when women cheat its that they were hurt, or abused, or molested as a child, but when a man cheats hes considered a dog.

[samsungxoxo]

But women, they don't seem to take cheating as serious, most guys can cheat on a women 4 to 6 times before she dumps him and is throughly done with him.

 

I would never take back a guy who cheated, screw him. That should be the most simple and unemotional break-up. Would I want to be treated poorly, hells nope, I want real love, not the one where you are being replaced with someone else.

[WiseOne1]

I would never take back a guy who cheated, screw him. That should be the most simple and unemotional break-up. Would I want to be treated poorly, hells nope, I want real love, not the one where you are being replaced with someone else.

 

 

Well in that case, you are one of the smart women, who know what they want in life.